Even Lords need companionship, but I suppose with the way things were people kept you way too busy with their demands.
[ which sucks. but they can take a hint even though they are going to come back to asking who that is. instead, they will open their box! and pull out... a single tarot card? it is a page of cups. ]
[ fascinated by how this man would have said that out loud, but i'm not questioning it and neither are they. ]
I'm sure there are still people where I'm from that would call it that. This is a tarot card. Tarot cards are used to read a person's future. My mother specializes in card readings. [ ... ] And she would always tell me this particular card was the one she thought represented me best.
It has a lot of meanings. Usually it's about new beginnings, messages, and possibilities. She used to say it was mine because of all of the potential the cupbearer held, and how that potential was just like mine.
[ which seems sweet, but it was also a lot to consider. ]
Oh, I've been told my fate practically since I was born. I think expectation's always been around. It was... nice to know what to expect, but equally frustrating for so long.
But when you're from a family of psychics it's expected.
I don't know if suffocating was the word I'd use. But it did mean a lot of how I spent most of my life was ruled by that one prediction in my fate. And it meant not being able to do certain things other people my age would do. [ a pause. ] I'm the only one in my family without those kinds of abilities. What I do is a little different, but it means I can't tell my own future. But I wanted to make it for myself.
Oh. It wasn't greatness. It was about killing someone I love.
[ to clarify. this was a thing hanging over their head for years, knowing they were destined to kill the person they loved. ]
I can always do a reading for you myself another day if you were ever curious. I can't feel the connection of the cards as well as my mom or the others, but the basic meanings come through alright.
... maybe I thought that once, but I don't now. [ and to clarify: ] I knew he would die within the year before we ever fell in love. I saw his ghost. And when we first met I couldn't stand him, but I knew his fate. I couldn't... I was always meant to be a part of it. Eventually...
[ there's a long pause like they're trying to compose themselves. ]
He asked me to. He asked me to kill him, because we needed a sacrifice to stop a demon. And it was the only way. So he died in my arms and we purged the monster of its power. [ and... it's fair to explain. ]
And then we asked for a sacrifice in return to bring him back.
... our second sacrifice worked. He came back to us. [ so it worked out even if they are slightly traumatized given what happened. and also, something they haven't said to anyone else yet. ] But I get the feeling that something happened to intervene with our sacrifice, and there's something I've forgotten now.
[ CAN BE SAID CONFIDENTLy NOW. this is actually one of the very few times he didn't get hardcore grilled/bullied for fumbling a conversation... or just had someone killed for ridiculing him. ]
You've forgotten? I know you have a lot on your plate, but this seems rather important.
It's good. Believe me, it's... very good. [ they didn't want to be without him, thank you. ]
...I don't think I realized I'd forgotten until really recently? But it feels like there are things I'm remembering that don't have a place in my memories.
About two weeks ago? [ when you bitches showed up. ] It feels as if I have memories that should be there, of a person who should be there, but I can't figure out what the memories mean or who the person might be.
[ a pause. ]
I haven't told anyone because it obviously sounds crazy.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ which sucks. but they can take a hint even though they are going to come back to asking who that is. instead, they will open their box! and pull out... a single tarot card? it is a page of cups. ]
Ah.
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[ Squints at their card. ]
The occult?
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It's not—well, for you it may be considered the occult. [ old. ] ...are you familiar with psychics at all? Or the art of seeing someone's future?
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I'm sure there are still people where I'm from that would call it that. This is a tarot card. Tarot cards are used to read a person's future. My mother specializes in card readings. [ ... ] And she would always tell me this particular card was the one she thought represented me best.
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Anyway, he doesn't judge despite it being different from what he knows. It isn't freak shit, so. ]
How sentimental... What does it mean?
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It has a lot of meanings. Usually it's about new beginnings, messages, and possibilities. She used to say it was mine because of all of the potential the cupbearer held, and how that potential was just like mine.
[ which seems sweet, but it was also a lot to consider. ]
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[ Fascinating, but still superstitious to him so he's like. That's neat, I guess. Maybe it's something, maybe it's nothing. ]
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But when you're from a family of psychics it's expected.
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I don't know if suffocating was the word I'd use. But it did mean a lot of how I spent most of my life was ruled by that one prediction in my fate. And it meant not being able to do certain things other people my age would do. [ a pause. ] I'm the only one in my family without those kinds of abilities. What I do is a little different, but it means I can't tell my own future. But I wanted to make it for myself.
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[ Sometimes, not all the time. ]
As you can tell, I know very little about psychics, or that world in particular.
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[ to clarify. this was a thing hanging over their head for years, knowing they were destined to kill the person they loved. ]
I can always do a reading for you myself another day if you were ever curious. I can't feel the connection of the cards as well as my mom or the others, but the basic meanings come through alright.
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fumbling like this would happen to him, though. ]
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Ever since I was little, that's what I was told. So the solution for me was to never kiss anyone, and never fall in love.
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[ Even though he's doubtful that it would be that easy. He isn't even sure if he should ask, but. ]
Did you succeed?
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No. Not at all. Not with a lack of trying, but... no.
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[ Genuinely, and he normally never apologizes. ]
Do you think it would have been better to never have known them?
[ Said quietly, like this would be enlightening to someone (to him). ]
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[ there's a long pause like they're trying to compose themselves. ]
He asked me to. He asked me to kill him, because we needed a sacrifice to stop a demon. And it was the only way. So he died in my arms and we purged the monster of its power. [ and... it's fair to explain. ]
And then we asked for a sacrifice in return to bring him back.
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That's quite a story. I'm a little hesitant to say anything positive, in the case that isn't the end or that you weren't able to bring him back.
[ HE FUCKED UP EARLIER. ]
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... our second sacrifice worked. He came back to us. [ so it worked out even if they are slightly traumatized given what happened. and also, something they haven't said to anyone else yet. ] But I get the feeling that something happened to intervene with our sacrifice, and there's something I've forgotten now.
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[ CAN BE SAID CONFIDENTLy NOW. this is actually one of the very few times he didn't get hardcore grilled/bullied for fumbling a conversation... or just had someone killed for ridiculing him. ]
You've forgotten? I know you have a lot on your plate, but this seems rather important.
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...I don't think I realized I'd forgotten until really recently? But it feels like there are things I'm remembering that don't have a place in my memories.
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he is thinking to himself... that he is so inept for this... like what in the fuck. what is NORMAL in this place? for other people? ]
How recently? And what is the nature of what you're remembering instead?
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About two weeks ago? [ when you bitches showed up. ] It feels as if I have memories that should be there, of a person who should be there, but I can't figure out what the memories mean or who the person might be.
[ a pause. ]
I haven't told anyone because it obviously sounds crazy.
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