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holyspirits) wrote2025-03-16 05:01 pm
holyspirits) wrote2025-03-16 05:01 pmW5 PLAYER CYOA - Daigo, Eupha, Saber, Wisadel
fist fist fist fist
holyspirits) wrote2025-03-16 05:01 pm
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Alright! Let's party!
[ I guess you can choose from the Superhell drinks if you really wanted to but we can keep it simple here today by keeping it within the drinks you can find in Turboheaven. Which is as follows:
1. Halo There
(A lightly-flavored malt with just enough alcohol to feel saucy.)
You firmly believe in your Christian values and a life free of sin.
2. Bite to Meet You
(A vodka-tomato juice blend that's as hearty as it is spicy)
You feel compelled to bite anyone in your vicinity.
3. Don't Wig Out
(Why does this taste like something your father would drink after a long day?)
You become bald.
4. Hipster's Paradise
(Oh, you think it tastes like lavender? We were into lavender before it became popular.)
You grow an extremely bushy mustache.
5. All Bark, No Bite
(A fizzy pear cider that seems pretty mild at first taste.)
You can't shut up and believe you're an expert in whatever you're talking about.
6. Inner Piece
(You're not quite sure what the flavor is, but it all fits together.)
You become obsessed with puzzles.
7. It's Not Easy Being Green
(OH GOD IT'S LIME.)
Are you a man or are you a muppet? Easy question. Muppet.
8. The Angel From My Nightmare
(Tastes just like black licorice.)
The Christian Cake of Satanism. You feel compelled to sin.
9. The Rainbow Connection
(Best described as liquified Skittles.)
You cough up flowers that represent your hidden emotions. Bleh!
10. 53% Effect
(A stiff beer to put hair on your chest (not literally.))
The spirit of the top compels you... You're an alpha now...
11. Sharing is Caring
(Your favorite flavor.)
You feel compelled to consume cursed food and drinks.
12. Would You Still Love me?
(Sorta like dirt.)
Become worm.
They can do three rounds of drinks that's purely a contest of roles. Yes you can cheat if you want to by making your summons take a shot for you. Maybe you want to invite The True Hacker too? He's feeling... left out... ]
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SLAMMING this shot. fuck you satan. come at her.]
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despite being his favorite flavor, he still has to choke it down for some reason. i have no idea how to interpret this 6. ]
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[ she focuses on her third eye, mashes the keyboard, and hacks the lightwaves... creating funky disco lights that come out of nowhere and charge up the party atmosphere in here. they pulse to the beat. wow.
then, she opens another funky portal to allow our friends from other dimensions to join us. who, when everyone we know is already here? idk. THE TRUE HACKER, for one. maybe that walking arcade machine. this is an excuse for us to godmod anybody into just Being Here.
that's actually two things she just did but it would be rude to point that out.
anyway she is slamming back a 53% Effect with a roll of 15. ]
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becomes a worm but they still keep drinking ]
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Daigo downs some Sharing is Caring! Guy Fieri is going strong, matching him toe-to-toe with a 6 v 6! You both kind of suck at trying to drink this down for whatever reason, even though it's your favourite flavour. Maybe it's that thing they say, that you can have too much of a good thing... but the night is still young, and many cursed drinks and foodstuffs to enjoy.
Euphausia hones in on the matrix and opens her CMD, taking over Guy Fieri's joint and upgrading it from the Downtown Flavourtown to the Uptown Funkytown. The disco lights are on-time, on-beat, and flash in every colour conceivable to shrimpkind. That's a lot of colours! She also opens up a funky portal and in comes more guests. THE TRUE HACKER, who waves with his cool N*ntendo Power-Glove. ]
[ Alongside him comes an arcade machine, who notably does a middle finger and shoots a laser right at Guy Fieri and explodes his drink in his hand. That's the one that would've been a 20, but it's gone now. Satan is having way too much of a good time to care though because the VIBE IS ROLLING UP, and he just picks up a second glass of 53% Effect to down instead for a 15 v 8. I DON'T KNOW that Guy Fieri becoming alpha is a positive though. That might be a negative if anything.
It doesn't do anything for him because he goes head-to-head against Saber in slamming back a shot of Would You Still Love Me? and it is an absolute disaster. He spills the entire thing on himself. He's rolled a 1.
It's kind of starting to look like maybe Satan doesn't know how to throw a party at all, and actually, possibly, simply sucks ass at it. Is that OK? Round 1 goes to the Kung Fury Squad. ]
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[THE TRUE HACKER... YEAAA... she immediately vibes with this machine also.
to satan, though:]
We told you that you'd be going down!
[IS SATAN A FUCKING WORM NOW?
anyway she's grabbing a halo there shot for the next round because wouldn't it be funny to make satan christian and sinless? that's a 14 though so we'll see.]
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i rolled an 11 for the rainbow connection. who knows what'll happen. ]
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whatever the result, in preparation for the final round, she takes a moment to hack the soundwaves around them, filling the air with funky 80s mixes of our character theme songs. if you didn't have one, you have one now and it is a jam. ]
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but as they are simply a worm, they roll an 8 for this, which does make sense for someone who is an alpha worm. it tracks. ]
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[ He says, even as he becomes a puzzle-obsessed alpha worm. But y'all know what's going on. His next few rolls continue to suck ass. Wis'adel drinks him under the table for a Halo There shot contest, via a 14 v 4. He just starts crying. There's so much evil in the world... that's why he tries to party, to forget all of it... but understandable. He's learning his lesson. Maybe this contest really is the turning point of his life, and he will proceed forward from this day onwards to live an afterlife free of sin...
Who DOES know what'll happen. Not me. The worm starts coughing up little flower petals that are neon-coloured and have radical 80's patterns, representing his need and desire for a fun time. They're worm-sized. Would you rather fight 100 woerm-sized Guy Fieris, or one Guy Fieri-sized woerm? That's the debate for the day. Daigo wins this round too with a 7 v 11. Frankly at this point, this is just a sequence of you guys just bullying Satan into the ground because he is not winning at all.
The same goes for Eupha turning it up. Frankly, she should take the seat, because she clearly knows how a REAL party is supposed to go. She knocks back a Bite To Meet You with better gusto than Satan...
WHO IMMEDIATELY GOES AND BITES SABER!!! Enjoy your worm-shaped bitemark on your arm. Then it just DUNKS ITS FACE RIGHT INTO THE BIG GLASS OF ALPHA DRINK. Saber is feeling awfully not so alpha right around now. He DOES outdrink this one specifically, perhaps bolstered by the raving synth lights and music, alpha drink from earlier, and feeling compelled to bite. Maybe you just start feeling the opposite effect instead. Slightly omega.
Second round still goes to the Kung Fury Squad though. For all intents and purposes you've basically won, but maybe you want a victory lap as Satan lies on the table, sufficiently outdrank. ]
Ugggh... if you've think you've won...
[ I think you should hit him with the train. ]
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I think we can still win harder.
[BELIEVE ME I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO HIT HIS ASS WITH THIS TRAIN!!!
wiš'adel doesn't bother grabbing one of the special shots. she's just whipping out that train pass to see what happens! let's fucking go! i cast TRAIN on this worm.
her dinos are probably still around, so i think it would be pretty cool and sexy if they were also riding on the train screaming victorious dinosaur noises.]
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[ which is rich, coming from mr. mid over here.
this is the waiting round to see if satan woerm gets hit by a train. ]
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And a massive train just comes in and BLASTS Guy Fieri. It's definitely one of those cartoonish moments where a person just gets fully OBLITERATED and you have no idea what the hell happened to them. It doesn't even matter. There's a slight awkward silence.
AND THEN A LOUD SERIES OF CHEERS AND HOOTINGS!! All 10,000 rats are cheering, the arcade machine is firing off lasers that explode into digital fireworks in the sky, Richie sorry I mean the TRUE HACKER is giving each and every single one of you a whooping high-five.
One of these cars is straight up the shoe car you saw from earlier. Someone is in it. He comes out to greet you. It's a new police chief who was appointed in the absence of Jing Yuan. Don't worry about that guy. ]
Now let's get you all home.
[ Also yeah you're an omega worm I guess. ]
REWARDS
Anyway, you can get into the train (something draws you to the shoe car) and get taken back to where you're from, still coming off the high of your epic party bash. At some point along the ride home, the post-party clarity kicks in and your Kung Fury delusions wear off slowly...
You get to keep a couple of your souvenirs though!
(A shaped friend...)
A little guy. Maybe he can eat some of your bad dreams for you.
Train Ticket
(This is the will of the weak!)
Summon a miniature toy train to pile-drive someone to moderately heal them of an injury (small wounds, left-over bruises/scars, etc).
Pipe Bomb
(You think you're hot shit?)
It's a pipe bomb. It's about a person-sized explosion.
Lucky Coin
(Wish on a 50/50.)
Feeling uncertain or unlucky? Flip the coin and leave it to fate (get a small boost of luck/reroll one dice if the situation calls for it).
You may decide amongst yourselves who gets what.
Additionally, even though you're sane (?) again, you feel a constant urge to reply to things unprompted with FUCK YOU or a middle finger. Alternatively, if you want to be polite, you can keep compulsively making absolutely terrible puns, or hallucinate viral pop-ups in your vision. This will last just until before trial begins.
Thanks for playing!!!...something... anyway watch Kung Fury. ]