Audience - Shadowheart

[holyspirits]

Comments

[sacredpath]

Certainly, if you have a recommendation.

[otherwise we'll be listening to Old Time Battles (Bard Version)]

[holyspirits]

[ they think about it.

and then tap at their phone to put on this. this is probably what ye oldes like, they're pretty sure. ]

So—how are you settling in?

[sacredpath]

[she has no idea what to make of this but she will just nod like she's being shown someone's soundcloud.]

The melody is pleasing enough. It reminds me of something to play the night before a battle?

[thanks world of warcraft. also now i definitely think this is cola.]

I'm not really sure how to answer that. I wouldn't say settled.

[holyspirits]

[ who's to say. but that's a very polite response, they'll take it. ]

I think it's meant to inspire that kind of mood, yes. Oh. Don't go into battle here, though.

[ our peaceful heaven! (people are brawling on the mingle) ]

Well, I suppose it hasn't been very long. But is there anything that would make you feel more at home?

[sacredpath]

If it was a lot worse and more sinister, that would be quite homey. I wouldn't bother, though.

[holyspirits]

You... want it to be worse? And sinister?

[sacredpath]

No, of course I don't want it to be worse. I'm only saying it would be homier if it were. If anything, it's unsettling that nothing all that bad has happened.

[holyspirits]

Oh. So you come from somewhere bad.

Then I hope you get used to nicer places fast! Then they will feel homey instead.

[sacredpath]

We'll see. Sometimes I think when you're used to the bad, the nicer places are harder to adapt to. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

[holyspirits]

[ they consider this. ]

That makes sense. Then would more prolonged safety eventually wear that feeling down?

[sacredpath]

...I don't know. Perhaps it will.

[holyspirits]

If you do think of something that would make you feel more at ease, let me know. But I won't ask you to let your guard down right away. It's hard to break free of that kind of programming.

You're safe here—but it is a lot to take in.

[sacredpath]

But I still...

The shape of my halo. The wound on my hand. My - my memories still aren't clear. Lady Shar still has power over me. And if that's true, I'm not sure you can really claim that I'm safe.

[holyspirits]

I... don't know much about you, yet. What do you mean?

What's wrong with your memories? Who is Lady Shar, and what happened to your hand?

[ good thing they are not shy about asking blunt questions. ]

[sacredpath]

The goddess I follow. And the wound is - it's a bond between myself and Lady Shar, and I still feel it even here.

[holyspirits]

Perhaps the connection isn't severed yet, since you still haven't earned a permanent residence in Heaven. You still have the opportunity to return to life, so your tethers to it remain.

[ concerning, though. ]

This puts you in danger?

[sacredpath]

[it's also just that it's not actually caused by what she thinks it is.]

...Well. I thought I was here because I was out of chances with her. But I don't know that for sure.

[holyspirits]

[ listen. ramiel don't know no better either. ]

Would you want more chances with her? Or for that bond to be severed?

[sacredpath]

[that's a really good question.]

...I don't know.

[holyspirits]

That's something to reflect on during your time here, then.

[ hmm. ]

Tell me about Lady Shar.

[sacredpath]

[she will just get out her mental literature.]

She is the goddess of the night, of darkness, of loss. For that reason, most shun her, fear her. But we don't fear the dark. We know it, and prefer it to the falsehoods others offer. Pain and hope alike are only illusions. In the darkness, in emptiness, we are our true selves.

[holyspirits]

[ well that sounds bleak but okay! ]

... Loss is an important part of the human experience, I suppose. I can understand a faith that doesn't want to shy away from it.

Then does reaching an afterlife of comfort go against those teachings? Had you hoped for emptiness instead?

[sacredpath]

I didn't hope to die at all.

[frowning, because. yeah.]

The goal is to embrace loss, to learn to accept it. But I was still an acolyte. I still sometimes struggle with all of it. If I'd had more time, it would be easier to answer you and agree.

[holyspirits]

I see... So you worry that you hadn't fully embraced Lady Shar's teachings. You had hesitations, whether you wanted to have them or not.

What does it mean to accept loss? Does it mean to not grieve? To not care? I'm not sure that I understand that part.

[sacredpath]

It does. All of those things are only distractions from her perfect darkness. To truly embrace her is to move beyond such things. I've never been able to get all the way there.