Perhaps the connection isn't severed yet, since you still haven't earned a permanent residence in Heaven. You still have the opportunity to return to life, so your tethers to it remain.
She is the goddess of the night, of darkness, of loss. For that reason, most shun her, fear her. But we don't fear the dark. We know it, and prefer it to the falsehoods others offer. Pain and hope alike are only illusions. In the darkness, in emptiness, we are our true selves.
The goal is to embrace loss, to learn to accept it. But I was still an acolyte. I still sometimes struggle with all of it. If I'd had more time, it would be easier to answer you and agree.
It does. All of those things are only distractions from her perfect darkness. To truly embrace her is to move beyond such things. I've never been able to get all the way there.
But knowing how it feels to lose people they love helps them to care for the ones they have left. And to appreciate the time they still have together. People's love for each other is what makes them—function.
Without those kinds of emotions, their humanity would break down and deteriorate.
Perhaps that's what you believe. Or what you've been taught. People's love for one another is often more prison than true support. How often is the thing that holds someone back from pursuing what is truly right their concern for the fate of a loved one? How many people live unsatisfying lives because they're afraid of being alone?
It is a restriction, in a way. Loving someone without control over it. But that's something you could dig into forever. Everyone is created with their own set of genetic code determined by their parents that will set some form of guidelines for their life. Just like they're born into circumstances or with physical features outside of their control.
And yet, they can still make their own decisions. People can still prioritize what's right over the fate of a loved one.
I suppose I don't see the point in denying yourself indulgences all together. Moderation makes sense, depending on the indulgence...
But there are many temptations that are harmless to give in to, and would only bring you happiness. I don't see why anyone would want to live a life without happiness.
As I see it, it's a matter of needing contrast. You need to have both happiness and sadness. Without sadness, there's nothing to compare happiness to. It turns to boredom. It has to be fleeting, or else it would become the new baseline and cease to really exist.
And Shar is a relief from all of that. It's why so many come to her - rather than chase meaning and be disappointed, to follow her is to accept that she is the only meaning.
Without her, I have nothing. No identity, not even a history, or family to speak of.
Many people enjoy the journey. Trying new things and eventually finding what brings them happiness. But I suppose there are people who have only found disappointment so far. People who give up.
You would rather put effort into discarding things than finding new ones?
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[ concerning, though. ]
This puts you in danger?
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...Well. I thought I was here because I was out of chances with her. But I don't know that for sure.
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Would you want more chances with her? Or for that bond to be severed?
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...I don't know.
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[ hmm. ]
Tell me about Lady Shar.
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She is the goddess of the night, of darkness, of loss. For that reason, most shun her, fear her. But we don't fear the dark. We know it, and prefer it to the falsehoods others offer. Pain and hope alike are only illusions. In the darkness, in emptiness, we are our true selves.
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... Loss is an important part of the human experience, I suppose. I can understand a faith that doesn't want to shy away from it.
Then does reaching an afterlife of comfort go against those teachings? Had you hoped for emptiness instead?
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[frowning, because. yeah.]
The goal is to embrace loss, to learn to accept it. But I was still an acolyte. I still sometimes struggle with all of it. If I'd had more time, it would be easier to answer you and agree.
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What does it mean to accept loss? Does it mean to not grieve? To not care? I'm not sure that I understand that part.
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[ they have. thoughts. ]
But knowing how it feels to lose people they love helps them to care for the ones they have left. And to appreciate the time they still have together. People's love for each other is what makes them—function.
Without those kinds of emotions, their humanity would break down and deteriorate.
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It is a restriction, in a way. Loving someone without control over it. But that's something you could dig into forever. Everyone is created with their own set of genetic code determined by their parents that will set some form of guidelines for their life. Just like they're born into circumstances or with physical features outside of their control.
And yet, they can still make their own decisions. People can still prioritize what's right over the fate of a loved one.
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But in service to Shar, we are asked to refrain from the things that might lead to temptation.
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But there are many temptations that are harmless to give in to, and would only bring you happiness. I don't see why anyone would want to live a life without happiness.
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[but in saying this, she seems more sincere, less like she's trying to convince someone else.]
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As I see it, it's a matter of needing contrast. You need to have both happiness and sadness. Without sadness, there's nothing to compare happiness to. It turns to boredom. It has to be fleeting, or else it would become the new baseline and cease to really exist.
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Deciding that nothing means anything is a little bit different from nothing objectively meaning anything. It's self reinforced determinism.
[ ... to be polite: ] I think.
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Even so, if there is meaning to all of it, it's a mystery to me.
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People spend their entire lives trying to find meaning. It's a mystery to most people.
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Without her, I have nothing. No identity, not even a history, or family to speak of.
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You would rather put effort into discarding things than finding new ones?
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