Seeking refuge, I think. You can't leave this place, so I'm safe.
[and because this is a funny transition point and i'm about to journey into the land of phone tags, i'm giving you a memory now. we're yeeted to the fun house!
The funhouse mirrors take you down a path that seems to grow darker as you walk. What is reflected in the mirrors is a hazy landscape, all in grays, with swirling thick darkness that looks like smoke all around. Everything in this land is dead, everything. The ground is cracked and patched. No plants grow here, except for the odd glowing foliage of the underdark, which is adapted to darkness. There are no living animals, but there are beings in the dark. Undead corpses of animals with glowing eyes animated by some evil power, dark shadow shapes, even the corpses of people from time to time, ones who wandered in here and fell.
Other mirrors show flickers of the story of this land. A century ago, this was a thriving and lush landscape ruled over from the nearby castle, Moonrise Towers. There was a market town and many people who lived in the rural areas. But a curse was placed on this land by the goddess Shar. Everyone who once lived here either died or fled, because no life can thrive in the shadows. The shadow curse eats away at anyone who travels through it before they join the armies of undead.
Shadowheart is traveling through this land with her companions, Gale, Karlach, and Astarion. They’re using lanterns to keep the shadows at bay, but in the darker places, even that doesn’t work. But Shadowheart seems less affected by the others.
“The shadow curse… it doesn’t seem to affect me like it does others. Not as badly, at least.” Shadowheart’s voice sounds pleased. “Do you know what this means? Lady Shar is protecting me, while others are left to face her wrath.” She’s touched by this, like this is an unexpected blessing, a protection she didn’t think she’d be granted, but is now taking as proof of something she hadn’t thought she’d ever see proof of. “...She loves me. She must do.”
She notices the others slightly unimpressed, and adds - “Don’t give me that look. It’s a good thing I’m resistant to the shadows. I can help all of you.” And then more to herself - “Lady Shar wouldn’t bless me like this for no reason. There must be something she wants of me.”
The journey leads you deeper into these cursed lands. Despite Shadowheart’s claim of receiving a blessing, this is an awful place, and even she seems to be feeling it. Eventually, they come to a road, and find a destroyed caravan, bodies strewn all over the place. Men, women, children, all horned and colorful people, tieflings, lying murdered in the road, attacked. Though a few were armed, and though one or two of the bandits who killed them lie dead as well, most were refugees, not warriors.
(Memories on the mirrors on the other side of the wall. A party, in a serene grove, at night. A celebration in honor of Shadowheart and her friends. Tieflings drinking, dancing, toasting to them for helping save them and find a safe path to Baldur’s Gate. Many of the dead were among those remembered from the party, though some notable faces are missing.)
The sight is horrible, but the next turn through the mirrors leads to something else. An inn, easily visible through the darkness, as it is shrouded in an enormous bubble of light, blinding and looking like the surface of the moon. Inside the spell of protection, life can thrive and the shadows are banished. And Shadowheart and her friends find most of the remaining survivors of the tiefling caravan there, having been given shelter by the inn’s owner, a cleric named Isobel.
The reunion with the survivors is mixed. It’s a happy thing, that they survived and found shelter, but there’s no way to travel ahead, many of their party were killed, and many more are missing. Some of the children beg them to go find one of their friends who is being held captive; others as after missing loved ones and family members, but there’s no way to guarantee they can be saved or are even still alive.
Shadowheart goes upstairs with the others and meets Isobel. The conversation is brief, and tense, but perhaps there’s more there, if you linger and peer more deeply into the mirrors.
Isobel is at work renewing the ritual that protects this inn. It’s a beautiful thing, like summoning moonlight in her hands and letting it spread out across the area. She turns, and takes the party in.
“I didn’t realize I had an audience.” Her gaze falls on Shadowheart. “And a Sharran one, at that. Frankly, I’m surprised you’re willing to help us. Your kind aren’t known for their decency, particularly when a Sharran curse is our greatest obstacle.” She sighs. “But if you are who I think you are, I’d be a fool to reject your help.”
“I won’t be spoken to like that by a Selǔnite,” Shadowheart snaps back at her.
In an adjacent mirror, the shadow of Moonrise Towers, the enemy occupying it. An obstacle that Shadowheart and her friends must face, and an enemy of Isobel and all of the people taking refuge in this inn. For reasons unknown to you, the man controlling Moonrise Towers wants Isobel brought to him a prisoner, but if Isobel leaves this place, or falls, every last person inside the inn will fall to the shadow curse and die. She needs Shadowheart’s help, but Shadowheart has come here seeking help from her, as well.
“We’ve both got a bitter pill to swallow,” Isobel says, conciliatory. “When this is over, we can spit it back out. But for now, you’ll be needing a protection spell, won’t you?” the woman adds. “I see Shar has offered you protection already, but no harm from some extra. Even from a Selǔnite.”
Shadowheart agrees, and Isobel casts her spell, but as the magic washes over her, she clasps her hand in pain. The feeling of a spell using Selûne’s magic triggers pain from the old wound on her hand, reminding her that making peace this way is not accepted.
“Imagine being compelled to hide a shrine in a land that is utterly hostile to you and your goddess,” Shadowheart says, after they leave Isobel’s chambers. “Utter pig-headedness.”
“Hmm,” Gale says. “Tenacity might be a kinder word for it?”
“I’ll leave the kinder words to the softer hearts,” Shadowheart says.
Even so, without questioning it, Shadowheart and her friends defend the inn when forces from Moonrise Towers attack, keep them from taking Isobel or hurting her, so that Selûne’s protection can remain in place for a little longer.
There are more pathways, leading ahead, all lit by the glow of that protective moonlit spell. A story of a war between two goddesses, one that tends to use the lives of mortals as chess pieces, but more, too, some sort of deeper conflict within Shadowheart, one she doesn’t seem to understand herself. You can explore deeper, but there’s also a way out, back out of the hall of mirrors.
[ here's the thing. this is very far out of their depth, but it still isn't exactly hard to understand just based on the conversations they've had with shadowheart. it's a conflict of interest and a conflict of goals, and as they walk down the hall they are doing their best to give special attention to both sides and the mirrors to try and piece together the story. ]
For the record, I'm not actually bound to the bar. [ idly said because it's funny, and it's a dry tone because now they are here. but they want to keep exploring this, so they keep walking along. they will explore deeper unless she steers them away. ]
... tell me something. In the end, was it still a blessing? What's the actual conflict between a Sharran and a Selǔnite?
The goddesses are sisters - the night and the moon. Shar is older, but Selûne was selfish. She wanted to be noticed, even if it would spite her sister. She lit up the dark so she could steal Lady Shar's domain for herself. For all of time, the two have fought, their power over one another waxing and waning.
Shar considers Selûne her greatest enemy, so she commands us to destroy Selûnites where we find them, as well as to desecrate all that Selûne holds dear.
I've never had siblings, but that sounds like sibling behavior. The younger being overshadowed by the older and wanting to be seen as their own person. And, uh. I guess Selûne can't get her own domain because that's not actually the point.
[ they see. they understand. ]
Shar aside, what is it that you actually think about all of that? Should all Selûnites be punished for following their specific goddess?
Right, right. Because of what she's done for you, you were bound to follow her. But that was before you started really meeting other people and having more to do with people who aren't Sharrins, wasn't it?
[ a tilt of their head. ]
It must feel kinda weird sticking with your path but knowing your beliefs are a little conflicting.
[it's maybe a little more because of what was done to her.]
...Truthfully, my beliefs have been conflicted as long as I can remember. [sure, she may say she's devoted and believes strongly but that doesn't mean she feels it in her heart.] It's never been easy for me, to follow.
[ listen. yes. you know this and i know this but here we are, and gabriel is considering all of this. ]
... then why do you? Really. Like I know what you might say to people who know better, but pretend I'm stupid, or maybe like I'm not even here. [ the glow from them dies down just slightly. ] Honestly, why do you follow something you don't fully believe is right?
[it's a good question, and she wants to answer them honestly. she does know the answer, but it takes her a moment to say it.]
I don't have anything else. Not even memories of anything else. No family, no home to return to, no identity, no purpose. All of it belongs to Shar. And I know enough now to know that that was by design - to make me depend on her, on all of them, to make me too afraid to even consider something else.
But just because it was designed to do that doesn't mean it didn't work.
[ they continue to watch the mirror, though it's hard to say where their eyes are drawn. ]
So you were gaslit your whole life into following a goddess who may or may not actually have beliefs that are terrible. [ understanding, okay. ] Feels a little like a toxic relationship. You think you love someone because they care for you and have given you everything that you modeled yourself to be and they protect you, but you don't realize it's because they've isolated you so far nothing else seems like a valid option.
I want better for you. I know you know it feels different, now, making new memories and making your own choices here. Even if it feels a little like wandering in the dark because the person you've worshipped isn't there to tell you what to think. [ ... ] Says something about how you've changed that you're even having this conversation though.
Maybe not to the same degree as you, but I've had my own share of shitty relationships. And... you know. Sticking with things because it was all you knew, even if it wasn't great. I find that taking time away can actually help get your head on straight. Even if it's forced on you.
Then I don't think there's anything wrong with planning for whatever comes next and knowing it may not be with Lady Shar. Some people do say the the first step is the hardest, but after that... call it a lot of potential.
[ which is all they get to say before they turn a corner, and this time, the mirrors display something else.
You heard about God’s proposal, and it’s both the most interesting and the most dangerous gamble you’ve heard lately. Heaven is meant to be a place for people that are inherently good… but if you’re honest, you haven’t always felt comfortable with that idea either. What if a good person makes one bad mistake? Or what if one bad person changes their ways at the end of their life? Does that exclude them from paradise…?
So okay. Maybe you can get behind the idea of a trial of judgment.
“So. I can have the job?”
The large, pink axolotl before you regards you curiously. They do not blink, and when God speaks to you you hear it in your head again rather than see their mouth open.
”You think you can be of use?”
The answer is no, actually. You’re not entirely sure you’re qualified to be a part of something like this, but you don’t really want to say no either. This is about proving yourself, too.
“Do you think I’d be here if I couldn’t be?”
God hums, seemingly satisfied with your answer. You lean back against the wall, stretching your spine a little as it bunches uncomfortably. When was the last time you slept well? Far too long, probably.
”Your unique outlook will make this interesting.” They concede. ”You have eight months to prepare and participate. You will stay for the duration of the trial.”
No arguments there. You want to be here. You want to succeed. You have to succeed, or what are you even doing with your time?
“A bar then.” You suggest. “If there’s one made, I’ll take over. Keeps me there, keeps them occupied. Do we have a deal?”
God doesn’t verbally agree, but you hear the sound of that low, song-like humming you’ve heard before as they hold your gaze so long it grows uncomfortable. You suppose that’s good enough. You don’t really have time to think it over either.
There’s a lot you need to catch up on, after all.
and gabriel sort of stops to watch, a little displeased having to revisit this. ]
Was... there some doubt about that? The axogodtl's all over the church.
[ but that aside, it's mostly to derail from having to really think too hard about it. ]
It's more like mental fortitude. I knew what I wanted to do, but I also knew you would all likely be coming in with a lot of things that I'd be way out of my depth on.
[ it's not even that, entirely, but they do seem to realize how it might come across. ]
Thanks. That's... I was kind of kidding, I'm not, like, being paid to do this. I believed in the project and I wanted to be here. But I also know God expects very little of me in terms of... anything. Probably why the Angels are the ones guiding you instead.
I don't think that's an unreasonable thing to think. [ ...but. ] Walk me through it though. Is it hard to imagine why someone would do it, or is it hard to understand why so many of you are here?
[well, it has a lot to do with how she was raised in a cult.]
...I grew up being taught one way of thinking was correct. A lot of what I taught is what I think you and many others would consider to be evil or wrong or harmful. But I was taught the opposite. I was taught that those values were a lie others sought to impose, but we were doing the right thing, because we were serving Lady Shar, and eventually through our actions all would benefit from her embrace.
[she's not sure she believes that anymore at all, but...]
I think the part of it that sticks with me, even after everything I've come to feel about Lady Shar, is that... I don't believe anyone else gets to define for me what's right and what's wrong. Simply because I abandon my faith in Shar does not mean I would immediately follow Selûne, or any other God, and their tenants.
I know I don't have the right to demand a second chance, so I have no choice to consent to the terms that are offered. But if this wasn't for my ability to return home? I wouldn't want to take part in this experiment at all, because I don't care about someone else's judgment of my actions.
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[and because this is a funny transition point and i'm about to journey into the land of phone tags, i'm giving you a memory now. we're yeeted to the fun house!
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For the record, I'm not actually bound to the bar. [ idly said because it's funny, and it's a dry tone because now they are here. but they want to keep exploring this, so they keep walking along. they will explore deeper unless she steers them away. ]
... tell me something. In the end, was it still a blessing? What's the actual conflict between a Sharran and a Selǔnite?
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[well. alright.]
The goddesses are sisters - the night and the moon. Shar is older, but Selûne was selfish. She wanted to be noticed, even if it would spite her sister. She lit up the dark so she could steal Lady Shar's domain for herself. For all of time, the two have fought, their power over one another waxing and waning.
Shar considers Selûne her greatest enemy, so she commands us to destroy Selûnites where we find them, as well as to desecrate all that Selûne holds dear.
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[ they see. they understand. ]
Shar aside, what is it that you actually think about all of that? Should all Selûnites be punished for following their specific goddess?
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[she liked isobel. she liked what she was doing, much more than what shar did with that land.]
I never had much choice but to follow Lady Shar.
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[ a tilt of their head. ]
It must feel kinda weird sticking with your path but knowing your beliefs are a little conflicting.
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...Truthfully, my beliefs have been conflicted as long as I can remember. [sure, she may say she's devoted and believes strongly but that doesn't mean she feels it in her heart.] It's never been easy for me, to follow.
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... then why do you? Really. Like I know what you might say to people who know better, but pretend I'm stupid, or maybe like I'm not even here. [ the glow from them dies down just slightly. ] Honestly, why do you follow something you don't fully believe is right?
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I don't have anything else. Not even memories of anything else. No family, no home to return to, no identity, no purpose. All of it belongs to Shar. And I know enough now to know that that was by design - to make me depend on her, on all of them, to make me too afraid to even consider something else.
But just because it was designed to do that doesn't mean it didn't work.
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So you were gaslit your whole life into following a goddess who may or may not actually have beliefs that are terrible. [ understanding, okay. ] Feels a little like a toxic relationship. You think you love someone because they care for you and have given you everything that you modeled yourself to be and they protect you, but you don't realize it's because they've isolated you so far nothing else seems like a valid option.
I want better for you. I know you know it feels different, now, making new memories and making your own choices here. Even if it feels a little like wandering in the dark because the person you've worshipped isn't there to tell you what to think. [ ... ] Says something about how you've changed that you're even having this conversation though.
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[it does sound a little like that, maybe.]
I do think I want better. Maybe I only needed a little time away from it to think about it.
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[ which is all they get to say before they turn a corner, and this time, the mirrors display something else.
and gabriel sort of stops to watch, a little displeased having to revisit this. ]
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Well, I'm glad to see that it really is an axolotl.
[there seemed to be controversy about that???]
What exactly did you have to prepare for this stint...? A drink menu?
[raising an eyebrow as though she is skeptical that the answer is a drink menu.]
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[ but that aside, it's mostly to derail from having to really think too hard about it. ]
It's more like mental fortitude. I knew what I wanted to do, but I also knew you would all likely be coming in with a lot of things that I'd be way out of my depth on.
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[hmm...]
So your part of it is to talk to the ones of us who drink a bit too much?
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[ lucky them. ]
My part of it is to be extra support. It's your choice if you guys take that.
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[though it is slightly odd, feeling like they're doing it on purpose to redeem them.]
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Thanks. That's... I was kind of kidding, I'm not, like, being paid to do this. I believed in the project and I wanted to be here. But I also know God expects very little of me in terms of... anything. Probably why the Angels are the ones guiding you instead.
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[she sighs.]
It's more that... I don't know. This entire project is hard for me to wrap my head around. I don't know that I understand it.
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...I grew up being taught one way of thinking was correct. A lot of what I taught is what I think you and many others would consider to be evil or wrong or harmful. But I was taught the opposite. I was taught that those values were a lie others sought to impose, but we were doing the right thing, because we were serving Lady Shar, and eventually through our actions all would benefit from her embrace.
[she's not sure she believes that anymore at all, but...]
I think the part of it that sticks with me, even after everything I've come to feel about Lady Shar, is that... I don't believe anyone else gets to define for me what's right and what's wrong. Simply because I abandon my faith in Shar does not mean I would immediately follow Selûne, or any other God, and their tenants.
I know I don't have the right to demand a second chance, so I have no choice to consent to the terms that are offered. But if this wasn't for my ability to return home? I wouldn't want to take part in this experiment at all, because I don't care about someone else's judgment of my actions.
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