[ well. that would do it. they're patient as they listen, because even if some of the stuff she says flies over their head sometimes, they get the gist of it and think it's important. ]
This... kinda goes back to the gaslighting thing. [ stop calling it that. ] But... maybe you're right. Maybe it's not up to anyone else to say if you're right or wrong for what you believe and what you do. I never really bought into the idea that there's a clear good and evil for everything, and that's part of why I believed in the project, but... maybe I was wrong, too? Thinking that maybe things are more clear in other places.
[ there's another glance at the mirror. the big axogodtl swims past... ]
Oh. [ they knew this, logically, and really just kept saying it. ] I swear I'm not calling your life a giant fart. It's more like... manipulating somebody into thinking certain things are true or that they're misremembering things, sort of steering them into thinking a certain way for their own gain. Does that help?
[a grim smile because, comparing her life to a fart also made sense, but this is admittedly a better comparison.]
And I agree that's what happened to me. But it doesn't mean every lesson I learned was wrong. I was taught to believe in some awful things, but I also survived, and I don't regret learning to be a survivor. [and yet some people would think the pragmatism and self-preservation that was hard won was immoral.]
The methods might've been extremely fucked up but no, it doesn't mean the lessons are wrong. Open for interpretation, but maybe not wrong. [ a pause. ] ... sometimes you have to do things you don't want to in order to survive, and I wouldn't fault anybody else for that either. It's more about what to do going forward now.
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This... kinda goes back to the gaslighting thing. [ stop calling it that. ] But... maybe you're right. Maybe it's not up to anyone else to say if you're right or wrong for what you believe and what you do. I never really bought into the idea that there's a clear good and evil for everything, and that's part of why I believed in the project, but... maybe I was wrong, too? Thinking that maybe things are more clear in other places.
[ there's another glance at the mirror. the big axogodtl swims past... ]
People should be able to make their own choices.
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This is where I say I don't know what gaslighting is, and I was afraid to ask. Gas...? As in...flatulence? Is that what you were comparing my life to.
[we do not have gas stoves or hitchcock. so we do not have this term.]
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[a grim smile because, comparing her life to a fart also made sense, but this is admittedly a better comparison.]
And I agree that's what happened to me. But it doesn't mean every lesson I learned was wrong. I was taught to believe in some awful things, but I also survived, and I don't regret learning to be a survivor. [and yet some people would think the pragmatism and self-preservation that was hard won was immoral.]
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