You do realize those are both really terrible options that I hate for you. [ just. just saying. they do not like the idea of jacopo having a terrible childhood only to go into having a terrible adulthood. ] But I get it. Kind of one of those out of sight, out of mind things.
[ sigh... ]
I wouldn't say where I grew up was the worst place I could've been. But it also wasn't the best, and usually people who lived there didn't care about trying to improve it. And when you're in a place that pretty much is a dead end before you even start, you kinda know your place in the world and you have to make sure you fight for it.
[ But he understands that they aren't GREAT things to happen to any child. It's just something that didn't happen to ONLY him, which is... worse... I guess.
This is all relatable to him for obvious reasons. Sometimes you start at the bottom. ]
That doesn't make it right. [ but okay! for real, dropping it. but given what gabriel's saying maybe it makes some sense why they are concerned about this. sometimes you start at the bottom but it's still bad not to know about it. ]
... I don't know. I think I did, but it was a stupid ambition, and maybe it was never going to happen. I thought... things would get better. And then they didn't, and I died. So now my ambitions here are making drinks and seeing you guys through to the end of this trial.
It doesn't. Ideally, I would like a future where slavery is abolished, but it seems that it's still a working trade in my time.
[ But you know... That is way beyond Jacopo's time. Sometimes you're a bit more progressive than the time period you're born. He thinks a bit more, quiet for a moment. ]
I had different ambitions than what led me to lordship... It is all a little ironic.
... even with everything I've said, there are some good things in the world. The future isn't all bad. I think maybe I wanted more out of life once, too. I used to think about what it'd be like if I was actually good enough or smart enough to get out of my hometown. I did leave, eventually, but not because I chose to. And then I came here not long after.
[ so. you know. ]
Didn't you only really become lord because that Barnier guy sucked really bad and you wanted to try and make things better for the people?
It's never too late, seeing that there's a life after death, but you know that. [ You're here for a reason, with a purpose. ] ... I'm also sure you have done things that amounted to something, but may seem negligible in your eyes.
[ Which is the opposite to what his younger self thought. He can only see now after he was too far down the path. ]
I wasn't that altruistic, even then. [ But he did want better for people in the slums. He wanted them to live, not survive. ] Barnier sent brigands to handle dissenters and people close to me died. I was tired... Of being powerless and having things taken from me.
I guess. [ they know that, but they do not seem to think much of it. ] I don't think I can accomplish what I wanted to accomplish, but I can try to figure out some things for you guys. Believe me when I say the things I've done weren't exactly the "somethings" that should've amounted to anything.
[ it would make more sense if they explained literally anything. ]
How is it not altruistic to want to fight for people you cared about because they were taken away? You could have turned around, gotten revenge and left it. But you were still trying to go above that.
... Being kind is something, if all else fails to measure up.
[ Though Jacopo doesn't entirely believe that, he knows the importance of just being good to people. It's something he has lost, he thinks, but it does matter.
Everyone and their mom should feel lucky that Jacopo doesn't put so much stock into people's past, instead valuing more how they conduct themselves around him in the present, so he allows them to be vague even though it does make it difficult to know how to respond. ]
The point was that I wasn't thinking about everyone at first.
[ because sometimes even kindness is a struggle, they think. at this point they're probably on the train, fell asleep, and have since actually arrived in italy because they have been walking for so long. anyway, thanks for not digging into the past. ]
And my point is you didn't die thinking about nobody else, did you?
[ THEY ARE IN ITALY... FAMILIAR PLACE, YET NOT... BECAUSE JACOPO IS FROM SICILY and Italy can't grow wheat for shit. ]
I died with regret, I suppose. [ It's hard to know what you actually feel when you're depressed back then and now. ] I didn't want it to be that way, but that was reality.
[ And it is his fault, in the end. ]
Never did get to see home, or what I thought I remembered of it. Just stayed in that city and died there.
While I admire you for seeing it for what it is, it's... a bummer, I guess. That it had to end that way. [ let us walk in familiar yet not familiar italy. ]
It comes back to dying without feeling like you actually did much of anything, right? Even if it's not entirely true, it's hard to see it another way.
It's not like I did anything except become a huge disappointment, watch my life fall apart and die. So... maybe not all situations are the same, but I think I did the opposite of what I wanted to do. I get that much.
[ i think it's funny if they have coffee, so yes. ]
I don't like being with my own thoughts. So I'd rather they center elsewhere.
[ a dash of honesty. to a cafe! ]
But in a way, yeah. This is honestly still better than things were before, and a lot of the people are actually nicer. Everybody's interesting, even if there's always stuff I won't get.
[ Well, that's fair. He understands it, even though he lets himself simmer in his own thoughts which isn't always great. ]
You unfortunately face them eventually. [ He would know, considering his memory of just losing his mind, but they can let that gently taper off as a topic. ] What stuff don't you get?
[ They can sit at a cafe, order some coffee... Jacopo will even get a biscuit. ]
[ yay coffee. they also order some coffee and have a seat even if there's a grim noise of acceptance. yes. you have to face them eventually. ]
Some of you come from places that are way beyond me, for one. I have trouble keeping it all straight sometimes. And there are those of you who don't always agree with me, and vice versa. Which is fine.
[ He will sip his coffee and he will squint as he savors the taste. It's strange... A bit acidic, yet toasty. A little bitterness. Not bad? Does he like it? Unsure.
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[ sigh... ]
I wouldn't say where I grew up was the worst place I could've been. But it also wasn't the best, and usually people who lived there didn't care about trying to improve it. And when you're in a place that pretty much is a dead end before you even start, you kinda know your place in the world and you have to make sure you fight for it.
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[ But he understands that they aren't GREAT things to happen to any child. It's just something that didn't happen to ONLY him, which is... worse... I guess.
This is all relatable to him for obvious reasons. Sometimes you start at the bottom. ]
Did you have ambitions, Gabriel?
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... I don't know. I think I did, but it was a stupid ambition, and maybe it was never going to happen. I thought... things would get better. And then they didn't, and I died. So now my ambitions here are making drinks and seeing you guys through to the end of this trial.
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[ But you know... That is way beyond Jacopo's time. Sometimes you're a bit more progressive than the time period you're born. He thinks a bit more, quiet for a moment. ]
I had different ambitions than what led me to lordship... It is all a little ironic.
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[ ... ]
What makes you say that, exactly? [ they'll go back to their own ambitions in a bit, they would like to pick his brain a little more. ]
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[ Because maybe in those forgotten times, he was a slave boy that escaped. ]
I wanted to see the world because there was so much more out there... And I didn't want to stay stuck in that city. Then I became lord.
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[ so. you know. ]
Didn't you only really become lord because that Barnier guy sucked really bad and you wanted to try and make things better for the people?
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[ Which is the opposite to what his younger self thought. He can only see now after he was too far down the path. ]
I wasn't that altruistic, even then. [ But he did want better for people in the slums. He wanted them to live, not survive. ] Barnier sent brigands to handle dissenters and people close to me died. I was tired... Of being powerless and having things taken from me.
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[ it would make more sense if they explained literally anything. ]
How is it not altruistic to want to fight for people you cared about because they were taken away? You could have turned around, gotten revenge and left it. But you were still trying to go above that.
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[ Though Jacopo doesn't entirely believe that, he knows the importance of just being good to people. It's something he has lost, he thinks, but it does matter.
Everyone and their mom should feel lucky that Jacopo doesn't put so much stock into people's past, instead valuing more how they conduct themselves around him in the present, so he allows them to be vague even though it does make it difficult to know how to respond. ]
The point was that I wasn't thinking about everyone at first.
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[ because sometimes even kindness is a struggle, they think. at this point they're probably on the train, fell asleep, and have since actually arrived in italy because they have been walking for so long. anyway, thanks for not digging into the past. ]
And my point is you didn't die thinking about nobody else, did you?
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I died with regret, I suppose. [ It's hard to know what you actually feel when you're depressed back then and now. ] I didn't want it to be that way, but that was reality.
[ And it is his fault, in the end. ]
Never did get to see home, or what I thought I remembered of it. Just stayed in that city and died there.
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While I admire you for seeing it for what it is, it's... a bummer, I guess. That it had to end that way. [ let us walk in familiar yet not familiar italy. ]
It comes back to dying without feeling like you actually did much of anything, right? Even if it's not entirely true, it's hard to see it another way.
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[ Sometimes you die accomplishing nothing actually important to you. ]
Not all situations are the same.
[ MAKES SURE TO POINT THIS OUT. This doesn't have to apply to you. ]
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You're incorrigible.
[ never mind ]
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[ THEN WHY COMMENT ON IT he just felt it in his soul. ]
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Yeah. I've... been working on that. Since coming here, I mean. Maybe before that? [ shrug. ] It's a little easier when the focus is on all of you.
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[ Rest and relax. Stop thinking so much. Are they going to have... coffee. ]
Has it been fulfilling so far?
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I don't like being with my own thoughts. So I'd rather they center elsewhere.
[ a dash of honesty. to a cafe! ]
But in a way, yeah. This is honestly still better than things were before, and a lot of the people are actually nicer. Everybody's interesting, even if there's always stuff I won't get.
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You unfortunately face them eventually. [ He would know, considering his memory of just losing his mind, but they can let that gently taper off as a topic. ] What stuff don't you get?
[ They can sit at a cafe, order some coffee... Jacopo will even get a biscuit. ]
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Some of you come from places that are way beyond me, for one. I have trouble keeping it all straight sometimes. And there are those of you who don't always agree with me, and vice versa. Which is fine.
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He's going through a phase as he listens. ]
Ten.
[ .... becomes confused..... ]
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