Audience - Yves

[holyspirits]

Comments

[batterypack]

[ the new pavlovian response is for her to lean into that for a bit. ]

You should've come by earlier then. I spent most of the morning in the meadow. [ singing flowers do not freak her out, somehow. ] I've been trying to understand the deck since yesterday.

[noirges]

[ cute!! then he will keep his arm around her as he tries to peer at the tarot cards ]

Can I join you? [ starting with: ] What is it?

[batterypack]

These? They're tarot cards. Some psychics use them to read a person's future for them. Though usually they don't deal themselves.

[noirges]

Oh...

How accurate do you think they are? Should I get one?

[batterypack]

These ones? I couldn't tell you. But I know plenty of psychics and all of their readings are accurate. I think you should pull one and see what happens.

[noirges]

Oohh...

[ then he'll squeeze her shoulder before going to get up and see what card he pulls..... do you wanna rng ty or i will ]

[batterypack]

[ I am assigning this as him pulling the hanged man, which zuriel is looking at and humming in thought. she's not going to explain yet, but she is going to see what yves can deduce from it himself. ]

[noirges]

[ did you know

in the virche tarot

adolphe is the hanged man ]

... is it... telling me that I seem to be stuck?

[batterypack]

[ still shaking about this. anyway, she looks it over and gives him a questioning look. ]

The thing about tarot is that there are a few interpretations. But that is one of them, yes. Sometimes it's about letting go of some things, too.

[noirges]

Oh? So it means I can let go of my guilt to return to my life and just die happily to enter Heaven?

[ he says it lightly!

but

it is what he's thinking of ]

[batterypack]

Maybe. Or it could be something else. In some cases, it's not even entirely about letting go and it could mean a bit of sacrifice. But for you... I think it's more a card presented to remind you that growth is still possible if you look at things from a new perspective. Among other things.

[noirges]

... well, that's true. I think that despite everything... it's not like I want to give up.

[ returns to sitting with her and tucking her against his side ]

What do you suggest?

[batterypack]

[ well. she will lean into his side and ponder this. ]

... I think I had a friend like you, once. [ she's very hesitant about this, like she's not sure she believes what she's saying. ] Something terrible had happened, but he wasn't ready to let go of who he was. And the longer he stayed with us, the worse it became for him. It changed him. I think I don't want to see something fester inside of you that will change you irreparably. And I obviously don't want you to give up, but there isn't just one set path either.

[noirges]

An irreparable change... I wonder if that's possible for me.

[ more curious and doubtful than anything. yves's brain has been broken and abnormal for so long, he hasn't thought of what it might be like to be different in the slightest. even though there are parts of him that have shifted as he's gradually gotten more and more survivor's guilt ]

So... thinking less in terms of Heaven or going back to life but... is there anything else I can do? If I end up getting redeemed...

[batterypack]

Everyone has a breaking point, Yves. Even if a person already thinks they've been broken before. [ so yes, she does think it's possible if only because nobody can be completely unaffected forever. ]

Thinking less in terms of heaven or returning, what is it you want to do? It's being with people you care about, right?

[noirges]

Mm... short term? I want to find Adolphe's soul again, which I know that you're all working hard on. So I'm not worried.

But... long term? [ . . . ] I... don't want to give up on being loved, but I would still choose my happiness with my friends before that.

[batterypack]

What makes you think those two things wouldn't coincide? Being happy with friends and being loved, I mean.

[noirges]

I think they could, but I don't know if it's likely.

[ . . . ]

I experienced a weird set of memories this week. I think... it aligns with what Adolphe knows. I was able to meet someone who loved me.

[batterypack]

[ hello? she sits up a little to face him properly. ]

What do you mean? [ say more right now? ]

[noirges]

... I think it might've been... the series of events that Adolphe knows.

The one where Ceres fell in love with me instead of Scien. [ a beat ] But... if that's true then... that's the timeline where Adolphe died for me.

So I guess I was thinking about it... and I don't think I'd choose love for myself if it means Adolphe has to die for it.

[batterypack]

... is there no way that maybe that was misinterpreted somehow? Or a way that maybe Adolphe doesn't die for that purpose? Who exactly is Ceres anyway? You... mentioned her name before, but not really who she is.

[noirges]

... well, that's the thing... Ceres is Adolphe's adopted younger sister. They both grew up in the same orphanage.

But the way I know her... She's Scien's lover. [ . . . ] And I'd really rather not get involved in that.

[batterypack]

[ oh this gets complicated. she sees. ]

... okay, context matters. [ gently chiding but also damn, okay. ] Do you love her? Not in your usual "I love everyone and want to be loved way", I mean actually love her.

[noirges]

... no, not really.

[ tilts head ]

I remember loving her differently... but that's not me. The me that's here right now is really happy that she found love with Scien, and would never do anything to infringe on that.

She's still my precious friend... but I'm not in love with her.

[batterypack]

Well that's a start. [ she's glad he's able to identify that, but she's still thinking about it. ] But it's also because Scien was important to you.

[ back to her original point. ]

I think... just because they worked out that way in Adolphe's version of events, that doesn't mean there isn't a version where you can have both. Friends, and someone who loves you that you can love just as much. [ she says this, but... ] I would have chosen the same, you know. If I had to pick? Happiness with my friends versus being loved, of course it would be choosing people I know who love me even if it isn't the exact same as being in love.