Audience - Shadowheart

[holyspirits]

Comments

[holyspirits]

Why in general, or why you? They're different answers, though the latter's probably a let down.

[sacredpath]

In general. What's the point of it? Though if you have an answer about me, I'm not opposed to hearing it.

[holyspirits]

Well, for that one, it wasn't about you at all. People were picked at random. That's why it's a let down.

[ but they do think about how to answer the general view of it ]

For me, I like the idea of giving people a chance at a future they might not have otherwise. The point is to give you that option, instead of casting judgment immediately once someone dies.

[sacredpath]

Not a let down, really. It's good to know.

[hmmm.]

But why should redemption be tied to another chance at life? Plenty of blameless people die every day, and awful people live a long life.

[holyspirits]

You're not wrong about that. [ awful people, they mean, and they sound a little dry. but they shake their head; ]

It doesn't have to be another chance if you don't want it. It's just one of the options. The idea is if it works now, it'd be in place for everyone. Blameless or not.

[sacredpath]

Familiar?

[but she sighs.]

Don't get me wrong. I want to go back. I just don't understand why you're doing this.

[holyspirits]

[ they seem to be just looking at shadowheart for a long while ]

I lost everything once. [ there's an odd emphasis on everything, and they lean back ] And then again. And again. Sometimes it felt like all I did was lose what mattered to me. I told you, I like the idea of people getting a future when they didn't initially.

[sacredpath]

I see.

[well, that seems candid. a little surprised at getting such a direct and personal answer.]

I don't dislike that idea, either. I do want to have a future.

[holyspirits]

Even if you don't, getting a chance at paradise instead of being kicked out before getting to know why isn't too terrible, maybe. [ they do not sound like they care too much about paradise, which is funny for an angel in heaven. ] What would you want your future to have?

[sacredpath]

I...

[that's a very tough question to answer.]

Meaning.

[holyspirits]

Everyone wants that. [ they tilt their head curiously ] Do you think your life didn't have any up until now?

[ and, after a brief pause; ]

You don't have to answer if you don't want to or don't know.

[sacredpath]

Of course it did. I literally spent it in service of a cause. But I also was plagued by doubts, or unreadiness, and I want to - either quell those doubts, or find something else to place meaning in.

[holyspirits]

Eight weeks isn't a lot of time to try to do either of those things, but I think if you focus on trying here, you could.

[ first, but; ]

You doubted your cause, then?

[sacredpath]

[hmmm. she did say doubt, but it's such a strong word.]

I think I found it personally difficult to make the sacrifices required, even though I was told many times that it ought to be easier than it was.

[holyspirits]

I don't think sacrifices are ever meant to be easy. [ they say sacrifice like they kind of hate the word, though. ] Especially if they're personal ones.

[sacredpath]

No. And that is why she demands them, of course. So that we learn not to rely on fleeting comforts.

[holyspirits]

What type of fleeting comforts were those, though?

[sacredpath]

[yeah that's the problem, right? it's not exactly abstaining from meat on fridays.]

...Well. Everything. The world is full of things that exist only to tie us down. Shar demands we give all of that up. She doesn't expect that we refrain from indulging now and again in certain pleasures, but... nothing is permanent.

I gave my memories to her. And while I know it is for the best, I cannot help but wonder at what my life might have been.

[holyspirits]

[ they take a long time before answering that, losing their professionalism ]

Okay, I'm trying not to sound biased here, but that is the worst deal I've ever heard of. She took your memories?

[ well, shadowheart said it was willingly given, but they seem a little horrified ]

[sacredpath]

I gave them.

[defensive. because yes, it's not great.]

[holyspirits]

Sure, but she shouldn't have asked for that in the first place. That's not a personal sacrifice, that's messed up.

[sacredpath]

...She values secrecy above all else. I was tasked to take on an important mission, and this was a way to ensure her secrets would be protected.

[but no, she doesn't like that it happened.]

[holyspirits]

By removing your knowledge of yourself? You'd still be working for her. Eventually you'd know her secrets.

[ they take a breath to try to Chill ]

What even was the mission?

[sacredpath]

What's done can be undone. It is a precaution for when we leave the safety of our cloister and go out into the world. If I left again, I would surrender those secrets once again.

[the mission though is a bit confusing.]

An artefact of great power, fought over by devils and mind flayers. Shar wants it for herself. I do not know why.

[holyspirits]

Or it's a way to make sure you guys don't remember enough to object...

[ but they'll stay agitated because: ]

She's tasked you to get a powerful artefact wanted by devils, you don't know why, and you don't even remember anything about yourself otherwise. [ dry. ] This just sounds like she's using you, Shadowheart.