I'll take better. [ she would like better for shadowheart, basically. ] There has to be some way to rig that house to show you things that are better than what you've all been seeing. It's a mirror. Maybe if we try reflecting something else, it would change.
Do you think so? I don't have all that many happy memories.
[...]
That sounds excessively dramatic. I simply don't have many memories, period, and the parts I do remember, we were largely being hunted by a cult. [and she's been seeing some things she doesn't remember, too, but...] Do you think if we tried to go in there and thought... happy thoughts, it would work?
[ well she frowns a little at the mention of a cult because goddamn. ]
I don't think it's necessarily dramatic given what you've told me about your life, Shadowheart. I think it adds up. But... [ she thinks. ] I also think we won't know one way or another until we try for ourselves.
So. Would you like to? [ she will even take a few steps closer in the direction of the house. ]
[she will, for once, agree, to go in there directly. there's one particular memory she's always been curious about, but marcoh punched it on monday so she can't go directly to it. but inside the mirrors, instead, she'll see something that's. related, but different.
A little girl wanders the forest, nervous but not particularly afraid. It’s a cool night, not cold, but enough that the wind makes her shive. It is pitch black except for the full, bright moon overhead, but the trees here loom impossibly tall overhead, nearly blocking out the light.
At this point in the memory, a wolf is meant to appear and frightens the girl. That's the dream she has again and again, a recurring nightmare, the only memory she has from this period - her terror, the creature's fangs, the malice in its eyes, and then being rescued by Sharrans. But Marcoh punched the wolf, so that part of the memory does not appear.
Instead, as the girl comforts herself, watching the moon, gathering her resolve, the memories shift to something else. Something from earlier that day. Picking out her clothing, packing her bags. Scared, but scared in an ordinary, childish way of something very big and important. A rite of passage, to make her way through the woods guided by moonlight and find her way home, an important day for any young girl in this place that she lives in.]
...This isn't how it's supposed to go.
[even though she can't quite remember how it is supposed to go, right now. she just knows this is a bad memory, isn't it? it doesn't look bad right now, though.]
[ how many memories has marcoh punched this week?????
she leads them into the house, walking a little down a hall until the mirrors seemingly close around them. and as the memory begins, zuriel slows her steps to watch. this is a very cool use of the effect by the way, siz, but anyway.
she watches the memories shift, and she frowns softly as she watches this girl set out on a personal journey. she, however, doesn't have the context of what the memory should be, and so she turns. ]
... does it feel different from what you think it was meant to be? Or is it one of those things you can't quite tell? [ she watches the mirror again. ] She looks very brave.
Well. I don't know the answer to that, precisely. I know I remember nothing before a certain point, but that doesn't mean it was the first time I forgot.
[what wis'adel told her... it sounds like it could have happened to her many times.
the forest, the wolf, it was a recurring nightmare, and it's the only thing that ever came through.]
[ she has to consider this because of the damn virches, honestly. ]
No, maybe not. Maybe there are other versions of you who have always forgotten, but there must then be a version who remembers. The possibility wouldn't exist otherwise, would it?
Some of it, I think, must be lost for good, and maybe that's for the best. But not all of it. I ate a noblestalk mushroom once - it had curative properties, for amnesia, and Gale made me try. I suddenly could recall pieces of something. Someone I knew back when I was with the order - we'd sneak off to our own little private hiding spot, pick the flowers that grew there, hide treasures. A friend, I think.
I didn't remember him at all. But I still always knew that Night Orchids were my favorite flower, even if I didn't remember why.
I think... there are certain things that may be lost, but the subconscious never really forgets. Some things are forgotten, but you remember how they make you feel, or little bits and pieces. Like deja vu. Not that it doesn't make it less frustrating that it's gone to begin with, but at the same time it feels a little less hopeless knowing perhaps it's just... buried.
[ and she would continue that, but this is a good segue to support her point. she's going to immediately go back to talking about shadowheart, but meanwhile, this begins to appear on a separate mirror as they round the corner (and art for visuals.)
and she stops to stare, the look on her face both thoughtful and unsure. ]
[ you would be correct because she is just staring at noah in the mirror. by now though she's a little less confused. ]
... a beautiful, cold thing. [ they had talked about this once, and zuriel had the thought in her mind then but the memory, the existence of this boy was gone. ] He was a ghost. And a friend, I'm sure. And even if I don't remember much about him at all right now, it was enough to know how certain things made me feel, and to feel those things here suddenly alerted me to the fact I had forgotten at all. And still don't fully remember even now.
[ she makes a bit of a face because she recognizes that teasing, but secretly she's also a little happy about it because it says to her that shadowheart likes her enough to do that. slightly.
but, you know. memory problems. ]
I think it was something we did before. We chose to make a decision, and we got the results, but I don't think we really knew something like that would happen the way it did. [ ... ] We were all close. We didn't want to lose anyone.
I do, too. I think he was just as much a part of us as we were of him. [ but she does at least mention this to try and make it a little less awkward. ]
I think he was a ghost for much longer than we knew him. [no, somehow, that's worse to just kind of go "yeah we had a ghost friend who just kinda hung out for a while and now none of us remember he was there at all." ]
... I don't even know where I would start looking for someone I hardly remember. It's... sort of like what you were saying. Some things may be lost for good.
[ we are looping this around back to shadowheart. ]
You may have an easier time finding some connections to your lost memories. You said your friend found something with curative properties. Would you try again to see what else you might be able to recall?
Well - it's a large city, and many of us are either from there or have connections there. So the hope was, in the Gate, we could find solutions for our current troubles.
But also, it seems that the foe we've been dealing with has its base of power there. We must stop whatever they're doing at Moonrise Towers, but the answers we're looking for will likely be founf there.
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[...]
That sounds excessively dramatic. I simply don't have many memories, period, and the parts I do remember, we were largely being hunted by a cult. [and she's been seeing some things she doesn't remember, too, but...] Do you think if we tried to go in there and thought... happy thoughts, it would work?
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I don't think it's necessarily dramatic given what you've told me about your life, Shadowheart. I think it adds up. But... [ she thinks. ] I also think we won't know one way or another until we try for ourselves.
So. Would you like to? [ she will even take a few steps closer in the direction of the house. ]
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[she will, for once, agree, to go in there directly. there's one particular memory she's always been curious about, but marcoh punched it on monday so she can't go directly to it. but inside the mirrors, instead, she'll see something that's. related, but different.
...This isn't how it's supposed to go.
[even though she can't quite remember how it is supposed to go, right now. she just knows this is a bad memory, isn't it? it doesn't look bad right now, though.]
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she leads them into the house, walking a little down a hall until the mirrors seemingly close around them. and as the memory begins, zuriel slows her steps to watch. this is a very cool use of the effect by the way, siz, but anyway.
she watches the memories shift, and she frowns softly as she watches this girl set out on a personal journey. she, however, doesn't have the context of what the memory should be, and so she turns. ]
... does it feel different from what you think it was meant to be? Or is it one of those things you can't quite tell? [ she watches the mirror again. ] She looks very brave.
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I don't know. I've never seen this before.
[this is something she doesn't remember.]
I've had that dream - [what dream. who knows.] - but I've never known why I was there.
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You remember the forest itself? But... [ ...hold on. ] Shadowheart, how long have your memories had holes, again?
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[what wis'adel told her... it sounds like it could have happened to her many times.
the forest, the wolf, it was a recurring nightmare, and it's the only thing that ever came through.]
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No, maybe not. Maybe there are other versions of you who have always forgotten, but there must then be a version who remembers. The possibility wouldn't exist otherwise, would it?
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[she's not from a video game like those virches.]
Some of it, I think, must be lost for good, and maybe that's for the best. But not all of it. I ate a noblestalk mushroom once - it had curative properties, for amnesia, and Gale made me try. I suddenly could recall pieces of something. Someone I knew back when I was with the order - we'd sneak off to our own little private hiding spot, pick the flowers that grew there, hide treasures. A friend, I think.
I didn't remember him at all. But I still always knew that Night Orchids were my favorite flower, even if I didn't remember why.
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I think... there are certain things that may be lost, but the subconscious never really forgets. Some things are forgotten, but you remember how they make you feel, or little bits and pieces. Like deja vu. Not that it doesn't make it less frustrating that it's gone to begin with, but at the same time it feels a little less hopeless knowing perhaps it's just... buried.
[ and she would continue that, but this is a good segue to support her point. she's going to immediately go back to talking about shadowheart, but meanwhile, this begins to appear on a separate mirror as they round the corner (and art for visuals.)
and she stops to stare, the look on her face both thoughtful and unsure. ]
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He's dead?
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... a beautiful, cold thing. [ they had talked about this once, and zuriel had the thought in her mind then but the memory, the existence of this boy was gone. ] He was a ghost. And a friend, I'm sure. And even if I don't remember much about him at all right now, it was enough to know how certain things made me feel, and to feel those things here suddenly alerted me to the fact I had forgotten at all. And still don't fully remember even now.
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[maybe. slightly teasing. but only slightly.]
Do you have any sense why you can't remember? Is it something about this place, or something that happened before?
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but, you know. memory problems. ]
I think it was something we did before. We chose to make a decision, and we got the results, but I don't think we really knew something like that would happen the way it did. [ ... ] We were all close. We didn't want to lose anyone.
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...I'm sorry. I wish you could remember him.
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I think he was a ghost for much longer than we knew him. [no, somehow, that's worse to just kind of go "yeah we had a ghost friend who just kinda hung out for a while and now none of us remember he was there at all." ]
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[if he's dead? and this is the afterlife?]
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... I don't even know where I would start looking for someone I hardly remember. It's... sort of like what you were saying. Some things may be lost for good.
[ we are looping this around back to shadowheart. ]
You may have an easier time finding some connections to your lost memories. You said your friend found something with curative properties. Would you try again to see what else you might be able to recall?
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[there is at least only one available in the game.]
But I could try. Or I could learn more about exactly how they erased it.
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And what's at Baldur's Gate?
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But also, it seems that the foe we've been dealing with has its base of power there. We must stop whatever they're doing at Moonrise Towers, but the answers we're looking for will likely be founf there.
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And by dismantling that base it should help with the rest of the answers? [ ...oh no. ] How far were you from reaching it before... ?
[ you know. before you died. ]
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