Guilt is a heavy burden to bear for an act you didn't have full control over. It isn't unusual to hope that you'll be the 'exception' to a rule. And admittedly, we know very little about this rule in particular.
Early on, those of you on the other side weren't even sure what would become of those who were hurt enough to end up here. I can certainly understand the trepidation.
These aren't justifications, but I mean to say that at least... I don't think it was completely unreasonable of you to stay quiet.
Edited (what if the right word though) 2025-03-17 19:36 (UTC)
Heaven is ordinarily a very peaceful place. Even with recent changes, there's no reason anyone could have expected any of this to happen.
... It's good to acknowledge the mistakes that you've made. To make sure you won't repeat them, and so you know who it is you owe apologies to. But remember that the goal is not to punish yourself.
Ideally, Heaven would be as peaceful as you desire.
But that's right. The goal is to be kind. To be someone who could live in Heaven with others and not do harm. To grow from any mistakes you've made and be capable of creating a better future for yourself and for others.
You are still in the Lord's care, so you will be judged with the others and given whatever opportunities they deem you deserving of. Once everything is working normally, we will tell God everything we've seen of you all to help them make their final judgment—though of course the result isn't up to us.
I see... It must be easy to fall into believing this is your purpose.
But you know that you can be anyone you want to be. If not in your home, here.
Each world has their own beliefs about God and the afterlife... As well as their own real deities. It doesn't surprise me that there's conflict with the truth of this Heaven.
[ and. hum. ]
Will you tell me - what sort of person is the Firefly you aspire to be?
I want to be somebody kind, who doesn't need to lie so much. And isn't so desperate that she'd turn and take a bad deal. ... I did take an apple from that tree. I tried so hard to find a solution at home, but the pawn shop owner said nothing I had was worth my life. Everyone who knew about the syndrome is long gone.
It's the disease I was created with. When an empire makes weapons, they don't want them turning on their makers.
Entropy Loss Syndrome. It's a strange condition. Those suffering from it will experience an irreversible chronic dissociation of their physical structure. This means they will slowly fade away, and the process is barely noticeable to others.
I'm afraid I can't speak to exactly how God will judge you.
I imagine that it's taken into consideration. I imagine there's also empathy extended to the circumstances that may have left you backed into a corner. But who you choose to be when given freedom is important.
It's about your capacity to grow and change, if extended a little grace.
It's hard to know what to do... But that part hasn't really changed. There are plenty of questions there too, and plenty of different ways to deal with whatever circumstances you're in.
Life is an eternal question. And the afterlife is, too.
But it is still true that none of the complications here were meant to be a factor. It's really thrown things off course from the work God hired us for...
I think that wanting to change from whatever you have been forced to be in the past is an important first step. It's much, much harder for anyone to change if they don't really want to.
Not a job listing, no. God simply reached out to me. Then we had a long talk over tea about what the job was supposed to look like and the goals they hoped to achieve.
[ there's a slight. pause here. ]
Obviously it's gone rather off-course from their intentions.
Anyway, I just like to help people. And as a member of the Sisterhood, I've always dedicated my life to serving the Lord.
The original plan was exactly as it was presented to you on arrival. Eight weeks in a small slice of paradise to prove yourselves capable of growth. Redemption, if you need it. An easier test for some than others, but nonetheless one that was meant to be dealt to you with no interference. No outside temptations. No outside influence.
If given the chance, God believed that many would make better choices than they had the opportunity to make in life. Even if the timeframe isn't long, it's better than having no chance at all.
[ her eyes glance away from firefly for a moment, staring off at nothing. she sighs, and returns her attention. ]
Oh, the Sisterhood is a group I belong to in my home. We offer community services and try to brighten the lives of others around us.
We were meant to assist the New God with this project as emergency backup while they mostly worked with their own hired Guardian Angels. But it seems our existence was never communicated to them, and with communications and transportation down between this side and the other...
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Early on, those of you on the other side weren't even sure what would become of those who were hurt enough to end up here. I can certainly understand the trepidation.
These aren't justifications, but I mean to say that at least... I don't think it was completely unreasonable of you to stay quiet.
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...
Still. If I were a... less selfish person, I wouldn't have gone with the lie for this long. I wouldn't have hurt anyone else either.
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... It's good to acknowledge the mistakes that you've made. To make sure you won't repeat them, and so you know who it is you owe apologies to. But remember that the goal is not to punish yourself.
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The goal is to get better, isn't it?
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But that's right. The goal is to be kind. To be someone who could live in Heaven with others and not do harm. To grow from any mistakes you've made and be capable of creating a better future for yourself and for others.
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[Sigh.]
To do no harm... When I was first created, it was to act as a weapon.
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I see... It must be easy to fall into believing this is your purpose.
But you know that you can be anyone you want to be. If not in your home, here.
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... I want to be "me", Firefly.
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[ and. hum. ]
Will you tell me - what sort of person is the Firefly you aspire to be?
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Sorry, that's probably too vague.
I want to be somebody kind, who doesn't need to lie so much. And isn't so desperate that she'd turn and take a bad deal. ... I did take an apple from that tree. I tried so hard to find a solution at home, but the pawn shop owner said nothing I had was worth my life. Everyone who knew about the syndrome is long gone.
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[ not that this changes much, she imagines, but she'd like more information. ]
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Entropy Loss Syndrome. It's a strange condition. Those suffering from it will experience an irreversible chronic dissociation of their physical structure. This means they will slowly fade away, and the process is barely noticeable to others.
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It isn't wrong to want better for yourself. Often it isn't our emotions that can be criticized. Only our actions taken on their behalf.
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[Feels like she's done a lot wrong here.]
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But for the purposes of this experiment, what I did at home isn't being taken into account?
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I imagine that it's taken into consideration. I imagine there's also empathy extended to the circumstances that may have left you backed into a corner. But who you choose to be when given freedom is important.
It's about your capacity to grow and change, if extended a little grace.
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But it is still true that none of the complications here were meant to be a factor. It's really thrown things off course from the work God hired us for...
I think that wanting to change from whatever you have been forced to be in the past is an important first step. It's much, much harder for anyone to change if they don't really want to.
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[ there's a slight. pause here. ]
Obviously it's gone rather off-course from their intentions.
Anyway, I just like to help people. And as a member of the Sisterhood, I've always dedicated my life to serving the Lord.
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That's what I've heard. What was the original plan? Something much less... Murderous?
What is the Sisterhood?
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If given the chance, God believed that many would make better choices than they had the opportunity to make in life. Even if the timeframe isn't long, it's better than having no chance at all.
[ her eyes glance away from firefly for a moment, staring off at nothing. she sighs, and returns her attention. ]
Oh, the Sisterhood is a group I belong to in my home. We offer community services and try to brighten the lives of others around us.
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Did something just happen...?
It sounds like you were well suited to this position... But why were you on this side of this place is only really for emergencies?
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Well, we were hired by God before they retired.
We were meant to assist the New God with this project as emergency backup while they mostly worked with their own hired Guardian Angels. But it seems our existence was never communicated to them, and with communications and transportation down between this side and the other...
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