W5 PLAYER CYOA - Daigo, Eupha, Saber, Wisadel

[holyspirits]

fist fist fist fist

Comments

[ugghh]

[ woah strange the city must've just cleaned the bean!

daigo is gonna... hear this guy out. but first, he'll intervene so these poor nameless tourist npcs can make their escape. ]

Hey, knock it off.

[fried]

[ the dude in the trenchcoat makes a noise that sounds like a squeak. or a lot of squeaks? it's probably a lot of squeaks. and then he clears his throat and turns a floppy sleeve in daigo's direction. the way they turn is very unsteady. like perhaps this dude is not used to legs. ]

You can't shut me up, pig! The end is nigh! He is coming!

[ the poor tourists just kind of wobble off looking confused... they just wanted to look at the bean, and now everything is ruined. ]

[ugghh]

What the hell are you talking about?

[ i initially wrote "time to be diplomatic" but no that's a lie. but as long as this very normal guy talks to him and leaves the tourists alone, we're gettin somewhere! yeah! ]

[fried]

The end! The end, my man!

[ slaps at him with a sleeve. the coat wriggles oddly around the chest. ]

[ugghh]

That doesn't actually answer anything.

[ grabs the sleeve. don't touch him. ]

Who is coming? What end? At least try to explain yourself.

[ maybe now would be a good time to invoke diplomacy despite this being a crazy person. ]

[fried]

[ the sleeve is like... empty, kind of. for a second, because after that he feels a nibble where he's grabbing the sleeve. ]

We have seen the signs! The party... it's coming...

[ is he actually invoking diplomacy or is he just going to get shaken around by this totally a man in a trenchcoat. ]

[ugghh]

[ he is invoking diplomacy now. after he pulls his hand away because what the fuck? what the fuck. ]

Okay, that's something. Can you tell me a little more about this party?

[fried]

[ there's something about your accent that just really soothes the guy in the trenchcoat. your dulcet dinosaur tones get it to stop wriggling so much. ]

The hell party! Everybody is invited! To die!

[ the bean shines ominously behind him, and wriggles... like it is about to hatch. ]

[ugghh]

...Thank you for your cooperation.

[ WELL SHIT

unfortunately daigo is too stubborn and too stupid to run, which would be what a normal person would do if an architectural landmark were to ominously wriggle like an egg. one could say he is hardheaded. like a triceratops. ]

[fried]

HELL PARTY!

[ that's cool, it's all good. because daigo stubbornly stands here with his badge and diplomacy in the face of a hatching bean. a hatching bean that just explodes into thousands of rats with party hats. it's just so many rats, running right at daigo. ]

[ugghh]

[ GOOD THING HE HAS A GLOCK WITH INFINITE AMOUNTS OF JUSTICE (bullets).








can he summon guns of the forefathers but it's just dinosaurs to stampede over these hell party bean rats. ]

[fried]

[ oh he ABSOLUTELY can do that.

roll a d100 for me? ]

[ugghh]

[ OKAY WELL I DON'T THINK AN 18 IS DOING MUCH ]

[fried]

[ I MEAN LISTEN

what happens is there are just so many rats, and daigo slaps his hand down on guns of the forefathers to summon up some real ass dinosaurs. there's a t-rex, there's a triceratops, there's a brontosaurus, and more. and they're all on their hind legs with machine guns in hands. they shoot wildly into the sky as they stomp around the bean, trying to kill as many rats as possible. they manage to kill eighteen hundred rats out of the ten thousand that escape into the city. that's not terrible! that's a lot of fucking rats.

in the wreckage of this disrupted party, one of your fellow cops comes up. he's like, human, by the way, none of your fellow cops are dinosaurs. this is completely normal. ]

Triceracop! Where is your partner?

[ugghh]

...My what?

[ his au background was a single sentence that wasn't even a sentence, it was a question. ]

[fried]

[ this is all that is known about triceracop ]

Your partner! Kung Fury! Where is he?

[ugghh]

[ there is this feeling of i'm too old for this shit for some reason that even daigo doesn't understand. ]

Oh, them? They were taking care of a collapse-explosion at the intersection of Fifth and Main.

[fried]

Well, why aren't you helping them?

[ because he was stomping rats duh ]

[ugghh]

[ yeah!!! ]

There was a rat issue I had to contend with here.

[fried]

Oh. I guess there are a lot of rats.

[ in the distance, daigo can hear people shouting at the police station. ]

[ugghh]

Might be in your best interest to take care of them if I'm needed elsewhere.

[ if you're gonna MICROMANAGE!!!






i can't even think of a snappy joke like of course people are yelling at the police station. better go see what's up, which is far better than dealing with the hell party bean rats. ]

[fried]

[ the police guy is like oh. that's a good idea. probably should get on that, only he doesn't, he just wanders away. surely the rats won't be a problem in the future.

anyway you leave the scene! the police station is in chaos, with people shouting about the upcoming foreboding party! what will you do? do you want to go see if the police chief maybe has some ideas? or you could give up and go get some donuts. or find kung fury. do what your heart desires. ]

[ugghh]

[ cop behavior.

also in true (tricera)cop behavior, daigo is not dealing with this shit. he's gonna go get some donuts and then find kung fury. maybe kung fury also appreciates donuts. ]

[fried]

[ true!

that's valid of triceracop. daigo goes to try to find kung fury... that's his partner. you stick with your partners through thick and thin, don't you?

perhaps they have news, anyway. you can reconvene with the others if you'd like. ]

[ugghh]

[ imagine i just say no.

i assume at some point they will show up at the police station but im very serious about getting these donuts first. a snack while we wait. ]