[ this is a fair question, because for all intents and purposes viktor should not matter when the situation is very different. and yet despite already telling the man they never wanted to be a savior, they have a savior complex and they know this about themselves and they hate it. ]
Think you're exempt because you appeared out of nowhere?
[ an incline of the head because, well, yeah. and they reach for another comic. it is transformation week though, so i will give you that viktor can see the faint flash of what looks like a robotic hand before the glow is intense again. ]
Want to, have to, it's the same to me. [ so yes. ] But you are still a person outside of an equation.
[Not the Robotnik hand. Viktor is already an Eldritch horror, so you get nothing for right this minute.
It's familiar, though.]
I apologize for what I said. [He is some kind of understanding Herald, so he can be open.] I doubt you would be in a place like this if you didn't care at least a little about the people you want to help.
[ not the reverse uno don't ask them that!! and don't apologize ooough they do not entirely know what to do with that. but. but... ]
When you have the capability of doing something to change the entire world, and it's built by your hands, people want you to use it for anything they want. Even if it goes against what you want.
Also, not hehe. He is quiet for a moment or two at that, his eyes still browsing comics.]
Jayce had a romantic relationship with another councilor. Mel Medarda. She was one of our first sponsors; she believed in our Hextech dream and supported us when others didn't. At least, up until the growing insurgence from Zaun.
Then she proposed to us the idea of using Hextech to make weapons to subdued the uprising.
[He was angry then, but now he sounds disappointed.]
No one wanted Hextech just to help others. They wanted Hextech to make money, to grow Piltover, to wipe Zaun away. The work I created with all of my heart was being used to militarize a city who never even saw me as a person.
... they always make you feel like you're the one in control until they don't. [ annoying. ] Was she using him to get close to Hextech then? Or did she genuinely believe in the vision once?
[ doesn't matter, that still goes against the principle. ]
It was a little different. [ and they stop, debating how much of this they actually want to say. ] I had a life I wanted to live my way, but the world didn't design me for that. And when my purpose was over, they brought the other guy back in to try and use my work to change the world for what they thought was the better. Even at the cost of millions of lives. They never planned to let me do anything else.
Maybe she did. [ but their instinct tends to lean toward not entirely trusting people and being arrogant enough to think they know better. they're... trying though, to think better.
they aren't particularly surprised by the question though. hard to be offended when they are aware of how they sound. ]
Not anymore. Or... maybe I never was? [ there are complicated feelings attached to their state of being. ] But I thought I was for most of my life.
[Makes two of them. He isn't stupid enough to not understand he isn't completely human after being in the hex lasagna, even if he doesn't realize how deep that chokehold goes.]
Being human was never particularly great for me anyway.
[Look, shut up, okay. Maybe he still thought he was human, you don't know!!!]
Yes. To both.
[Transcendence.]
My body was born hindered, and where I grew up polluted what was left. I don't know if my later illness made my body worse - likely, the deterioration was the sign of it - or if its intentions were merely to kill me.
I tried to save myself when I used my body to experiment with the Hexcore. I knew... it had the potential of restoration, but it was missing something I couldn't unlock... [In their language:] An equation I could never solve. I knew I had to do whatever it took if I wanted to live. But the repercussions...
[Yet again, he pauses as if he hears something. His eyes shift to the side, but he doesn't look this time.]
I thought it was dangerous. It... could be. It could be used badly in the wrong hands. I asked Jayce to destroy it, but he used it instead to save me. I was hurt, angry. I had become... a monster, I thought.
But I had not yet seen the beauty of what I could do for others who were suffering. For once, I was able to make a difference.
[ this form does not have visible eyes, but it is obvious that kiraman is watching viktor closely. ]
He thought he was doing the right thing by trying to fulfill your wish to live, and the repercussions made you this. [ understandable. relatable. ] Not knowing the missing link, but using yourself to find it... I get it.
[He shakes his head as if the fact he says this should be acceptable.]
The strength of the arcane should hold them within. They can be who they like inside the collective, but hypothetically none should be able to break free. Compliance is the link to coexistence.
The commune wasn't much different. People were still themselves, but they coexisted peacefully because there was no need to untangle superficial perceptions. Shared work, shared thought, shared emotions. It breaks away the blockade of misunderstandings.
But it also eliminates individuality. Like... if you and Jayce were in the collective together and weren't capable of thinking differently, would you have been able to create Hextech at all? Compliance is fine for those who want it, but wiping their personalities to be more in line with each other just takes away the key pieces of their programming.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I never said you were. [ short, clipped, and to the point. this is their own fault for making viktor think that's what they meant, and yet. ]
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Then why does it interest you so much?
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just doesn't fuckin answer and turns around to start pulling some comics from the shelf. ]
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Exasperated by the silence, he also turns away to look at things elsewhere in the shop.]
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Why is it bad to be interested and ask questions?
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Finally:] I never said it was. I spent my whole life being interested and asking questions.
I was just curious why I mattered so much to you in a place like this.
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Think you're exempt because you appeared out of nowhere?
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[The teasing it very dry.]
I assume it is less about being exempt and more about the mystery of my circumstances intriguing you more.
[Because he would be the same. Nerd to nerd communication.]
I'm the equation you want to solve.
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Want to, have to, it's the same to me. [ so yes. ] But you are still a person outside of an equation.
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It's familiar, though.]
I apologize for what I said. [He is some kind of understanding Herald, so he can be open.] I doubt you would be in a place like this if you didn't care at least a little about the people you want to help.
Have you been accused of that before?
[It struck such a nerve.]
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When you have the capability of doing something to change the entire world, and it's built by your hands, people want you to use it for anything they want. Even if it goes against what you want.
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Also, not hehe. He is quiet for a moment or two at that, his eyes still browsing comics.]
Jayce had a romantic relationship with another councilor. Mel Medarda. She was one of our first sponsors; she believed in our Hextech dream and supported us when others didn't. At least, up until the growing insurgence from Zaun.
Then she proposed to us the idea of using Hextech to make weapons to subdued the uprising.
[He was angry then, but now he sounds disappointed.]
No one wanted Hextech just to help others. They wanted Hextech to make money, to grow Piltover, to wipe Zaun away. The work I created with all of
my heart was being used to militarize a city who never even saw me as a person.
no subject
[ doesn't matter, that still goes against the principle. ]
It was a little different. [ and they stop, debating how much of this they actually want to say. ] I had a life I wanted to live my way, but the world didn't design me for that. And when my purpose was over, they brought the other guy back in to try and use my work to change the world for what they thought was the better. Even at the cost of millions of lives. They never planned to let me do anything else.
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I don't know. I can I only hope she believed in our ingenuity once.
[His head lift slowly. He emerges at the edge of a rack and stands there peering at them with the most Seeing eyes imaginable.]
"Designed"...? I'm sorry for the insensitivity, but... are you human?
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they aren't particularly surprised by the question though. hard to be offended when they are aware of how they sound. ]
Not anymore. Or... maybe I never was? [ there are complicated feelings attached to their state of being. ] But I thought I was for most of my life.
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[Well, lol!]
Neither am I; not anymore.
[Makes two of them. He isn't stupid enough to not understand he isn't completely human after being in the hex lasagna, even if he doesn't realize how deep that chokehold goes.]
Being human was never particularly great for me anyway.
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Yeah. You mentioned a brace...? Limitations to what you were able to do. [ curiously: ] Was it a relief to leave your body behind for something new?
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Yes. To both.
[Transcendence.]
My body was born hindered, and where I grew up polluted what was left. I don't know if my later illness made my body worse - likely, the deterioration was the sign of it - or if its intentions were merely to kill me.
I tried to save myself when I used my body to experiment with the Hexcore. I knew... it had the potential of restoration, but it was missing something I couldn't unlock... [In their language:] An equation I could never solve. I knew I had to do whatever it took if I wanted to live. But the repercussions...
[Yet again, he pauses as if he hears something. His eyes shift to the side, but he doesn't look this time.]
I thought it was dangerous. It... could be. It could be used badly in the wrong hands. I asked Jayce to destroy it, but he used it instead to save me. I was hurt, angry. I had become... a monster, I thought.
But I had not yet seen the beauty of what I could do for others who were suffering. For once, I was able to make a difference.
no subject
He thought he was doing the right thing by trying to fulfill your wish to live, and the repercussions made you this. [ understandable. relatable. ] Not knowing the missing link, but using yourself to find it... I get it.
[ there's a thoughtful pause. ]
And have you seen everything now?
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I know there is still more to be seen. I wasn't quite there... at the peak of perfection, a being who could stop violence and instill ultimate peace.
But I have seen enough to know it's possible. A utopia can be made one the collective extends its reach.
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But then there's the work in keeping the collective peaceful. The negotiations among them and their thoughts. How do you handle a job like that?
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You've seen the place where I would keep them. Their minds would be safe and everything would be peaceful.
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[ never mind, vaguely evil again. ]
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The strength of the arcane should hold them within. They can be who they like inside the collective, but hypothetically none should be able to break free. Compliance is the link to coexistence.
The commune wasn't much different. People were still themselves, but they coexisted peacefully because there was no need to untangle superficial perceptions. Shared work, shared thought, shared emotions. It breaks away the blockade of misunderstandings.
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How can you say it's superficial?
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