... they always make you feel like you're the one in control until they don't. [ annoying. ] Was she using him to get close to Hextech then? Or did she genuinely believe in the vision once?
[ doesn't matter, that still goes against the principle. ]
It was a little different. [ and they stop, debating how much of this they actually want to say. ] I had a life I wanted to live my way, but the world didn't design me for that. And when my purpose was over, they brought the other guy back in to try and use my work to change the world for what they thought was the better. Even at the cost of millions of lives. They never planned to let me do anything else.
Maybe she did. [ but their instinct tends to lean toward not entirely trusting people and being arrogant enough to think they know better. they're... trying though, to think better.
they aren't particularly surprised by the question though. hard to be offended when they are aware of how they sound. ]
Not anymore. Or... maybe I never was? [ there are complicated feelings attached to their state of being. ] But I thought I was for most of my life.
[Makes two of them. He isn't stupid enough to not understand he isn't completely human after being in the hex lasagna, even if he doesn't realize how deep that chokehold goes.]
Being human was never particularly great for me anyway.
[Look, shut up, okay. Maybe he still thought he was human, you don't know!!!]
Yes. To both.
[Transcendence.]
My body was born hindered, and where I grew up polluted what was left. I don't know if my later illness made my body worse - likely, the deterioration was the sign of it - or if its intentions were merely to kill me.
I tried to save myself when I used my body to experiment with the Hexcore. I knew... it had the potential of restoration, but it was missing something I couldn't unlock... [In their language:] An equation I could never solve. I knew I had to do whatever it took if I wanted to live. But the repercussions...
[Yet again, he pauses as if he hears something. His eyes shift to the side, but he doesn't look this time.]
I thought it was dangerous. It... could be. It could be used badly in the wrong hands. I asked Jayce to destroy it, but he used it instead to save me. I was hurt, angry. I had become... a monster, I thought.
But I had not yet seen the beauty of what I could do for others who were suffering. For once, I was able to make a difference.
[ this form does not have visible eyes, but it is obvious that kiraman is watching viktor closely. ]
He thought he was doing the right thing by trying to fulfill your wish to live, and the repercussions made you this. [ understandable. relatable. ] Not knowing the missing link, but using yourself to find it... I get it.
[He shakes his head as if the fact he says this should be acceptable.]
The strength of the arcane should hold them within. They can be who they like inside the collective, but hypothetically none should be able to break free. Compliance is the link to coexistence.
The commune wasn't much different. People were still themselves, but they coexisted peacefully because there was no need to untangle superficial perceptions. Shared work, shared thought, shared emotions. It breaks away the blockade of misunderstandings.
But it also eliminates individuality. Like... if you and Jayce were in the collective together and weren't capable of thinking differently, would you have been able to create Hextech at all? Compliance is fine for those who want it, but wiping their personalities to be more in line with each other just takes away the key pieces of their programming.
As I've said: they are free to be who they wish inside the collective. [He turns away to move around the shelf. The echo has returned to his voice.] Their individuality may stay.
[The echo deepens; his voice twists into two.]
But rebellion will not be tolerated.
[What emerges on the other side of the shelf is not Viktor, the Herald, but instead, Viktor, the Machine Herald. An unnaturally tall, slim figure, alien in the plated mask over the sculpted, familiar face beneath. Two glowing eyes bore into Kiraman like clinical, icy steel. The transformation is grotesque and beautiful simultaneously.
A glimpse of the future!!]
Once we transcend the limits of my humanity, we will give everyone a paradise where they do not suffer the malignancies imposed on each other.
[ they are not a huge fan of the echoes, actually. ]
Yeah. Yeah, I think you might have to get used to it. [ there you are, bitch. they do not seem concerned by what they're seeing, standing a little taller to face him. ]
Your humanity, huh? Thought the whole idea was about the collective being the same. Hey, who's we, anyway?
[He is still looking at his hands... He lifts them to push his fingers back into his hair by each temple, and he gently squeezes his head after closing his eyes.]
That's not why... [His voice is low, like he is speaking to someone closer to him.] Something is happening.
[His eyes open. He stares into the middle distance, distressed, and then very suddenly he bolts. He doesn't run, per se, but he quickly leaves the shop to stand just on the other side of the door, outside. He leans back on the wall there, head tipped against it.]
[ YEAH BUDDY, SOMETHING IS HAPPENING. kiraman watches him run, waiting for a few minutes to give him some space before they follow after him. they'll lean on the wall nearby. ]
... I don't know what's happening. [ quietly. ] But we can look into it.
[He's slow to open his eyes; when he does, he searches the sky slowly back and forth.]
I'm sorry, [is what he says first. About his weirdo moment...s. Then, more quietly:] I can hear her sometimes. In the arcane. Sky. But I can't see her anymore.
[As if not seeing her is somehow more bizarre than the fact he is just fucking seeing some random person in general.]
I feel... [Trying to think of the best word.] ...overwhelmed. I want to get rid of the feelings.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ doesn't matter, that still goes against the principle. ]
It was a little different. [ and they stop, debating how much of this they actually want to say. ] I had a life I wanted to live my way, but the world didn't design me for that. And when my purpose was over, they brought the other guy back in to try and use my work to change the world for what they thought was the better. Even at the cost of millions of lives. They never planned to let me do anything else.
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I don't know. I can I only hope she believed in our ingenuity once.
[His head lift slowly. He emerges at the edge of a rack and stands there peering at them with the most Seeing eyes imaginable.]
"Designed"...? I'm sorry for the insensitivity, but... are you human?
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they aren't particularly surprised by the question though. hard to be offended when they are aware of how they sound. ]
Not anymore. Or... maybe I never was? [ there are complicated feelings attached to their state of being. ] But I thought I was for most of my life.
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[Well, lol!]
Neither am I; not anymore.
[Makes two of them. He isn't stupid enough to not understand he isn't completely human after being in the hex lasagna, even if he doesn't realize how deep that chokehold goes.]
Being human was never particularly great for me anyway.
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Yeah. You mentioned a brace...? Limitations to what you were able to do. [ curiously: ] Was it a relief to leave your body behind for something new?
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Yes. To both.
[Transcendence.]
My body was born hindered, and where I grew up polluted what was left. I don't know if my later illness made my body worse - likely, the deterioration was the sign of it - or if its intentions were merely to kill me.
I tried to save myself when I used my body to experiment with the Hexcore. I knew... it had the potential of restoration, but it was missing something I couldn't unlock... [In their language:] An equation I could never solve. I knew I had to do whatever it took if I wanted to live. But the repercussions...
[Yet again, he pauses as if he hears something. His eyes shift to the side, but he doesn't look this time.]
I thought it was dangerous. It... could be. It could be used badly in the wrong hands. I asked Jayce to destroy it, but he used it instead to save me. I was hurt, angry. I had become... a monster, I thought.
But I had not yet seen the beauty of what I could do for others who were suffering. For once, I was able to make a difference.
no subject
He thought he was doing the right thing by trying to fulfill your wish to live, and the repercussions made you this. [ understandable. relatable. ] Not knowing the missing link, but using yourself to find it... I get it.
[ there's a thoughtful pause. ]
And have you seen everything now?
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I know there is still more to be seen. I wasn't quite there... at the peak of perfection, a being who could stop violence and instill ultimate peace.
But I have seen enough to know it's possible. A utopia can be made one the collective extends its reach.
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But then there's the work in keeping the collective peaceful. The negotiations among them and their thoughts. How do you handle a job like that?
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You've seen the place where I would keep them. Their minds would be safe and everything would be peaceful.
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[ never mind, vaguely evil again. ]
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The strength of the arcane should hold them within. They can be who they like inside the collective, but hypothetically none should be able to break free. Compliance is the link to coexistence.
The commune wasn't much different. People were still themselves, but they coexisted peacefully because there was no need to untangle superficial perceptions. Shared work, shared thought, shared emotions. It breaks away the blockade of misunderstandings.
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How can you say it's superficial?
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[The echo deepens; his voice twists into two.]
But rebellion will not be tolerated.
[What emerges on the other side of the shelf is not Viktor, the Herald, but instead, Viktor, the Machine Herald. An unnaturally tall, slim figure, alien in the plated mask over the sculpted, familiar face beneath. Two glowing eyes bore into Kiraman like clinical, icy steel. The transformation is grotesque and beautiful simultaneously.
A glimpse of the future!!]
Once we transcend the limits of my humanity, we will give everyone a paradise where they do not suffer the malignancies imposed on each other.
no subject
Yeah. Yeah, I think you might have to get used to it. [ there you are, bitch. they do not seem concerned by what they're seeing, standing a little taller to face him. ]
Your humanity, huh? Thought the whole idea was about the collective being the same. Hey, who's we, anyway?
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The idea is the collective is free from the burden of what makes him hurt each other.
[He is quietly paused for a long moment.]
We?
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Yeah. Once "we" transcend the limits of your humanity and "we" will give them a paradise. Who's we?
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[He sounds genuine despite the eeriness. Confused.
He turns away from Kiraman again, this time more like Viktor than the hulking entity he is right now.]
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also, back to being a twink. ]
... Viktor. Can you repeat what you said to me just now?
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...I'm sorry, I don't remember.
[Why does his brain throb!!]
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... okay. [ they accept this for now. ] Don't worry about it, I'm... gonna look into some stuff for later.
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That's not why... [His voice is low, like he is speaking to someone closer to him.] Something is happening.
[His eyes open. He stares into the middle distance, distressed, and then very suddenly he bolts. He doesn't run, per se, but he quickly leaves the shop to stand just on the other side of the door, outside. He leans back on the wall there, head tipped against it.]
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... I don't know what's happening. [ quietly. ] But we can look into it.
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I'm sorry, [is what he says first. About his weirdo moment...s. Then, more quietly:] I can hear her sometimes. In the arcane. Sky. But I can't see her anymore.
[As if not seeing her is somehow more bizarre than the fact he is just fucking seeing some random person in general.]
I feel... [Trying to think of the best word.] ...overwhelmed. I want to get rid of the feelings.
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How... often do you usually see her? Did that only start when you merged? [ how wacky are your hallucinations, viktor. ]
Tell me what feelings are overwhelming you most. What are you thinking?
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