[ their b in justice is for a reason but it's fine. we can hold hands, and they squeeze back a little. once again vaguely bothered that this feels familiar in a way they can't pinpoint. ]
[ looks to the moon. i don't want to talk about who yves reminds them of right now, there are problems here. ]
I mean it. [ it is not as selfish as he seems to think, nor is it as twisted as it sounds. there are so many people out there who pretend to care about others, and some of them aren't as nice as others. at least yves' feelings are (in his own head) genuine. but they shake their head. ]
It's alright. Things are better than they were, I think. [ they think, because now they are thinking about something else. ] Shouldn't that be what I say to you though?
[ yves what did you do to your brain, zuriel and i both ask in tears. ]
I think being excommunicated by people who were supposed to love you unconditionally would count as ill-fated, Yves. Even though it reflects more poorly on them than it ever would on you.
[ sorry, they are sticking to that point that his family should have at least loved him still. ]
[ hmmm he looks thoughtful about it, but even now his expression is still devoid of any contempt ]
... I do think it hurt.
But I think they must've just been scared, and trying to do what they thought was best. I know that's still probably not a good enough reason when I tell it to others but...
They did love me once. I'm grateful for that.
[ the reason for his A+ in gratitude is truly because of this ]
You're justifying people's poor behavior who weren't actually acting with your best interest in mind. [ they are going to strangle him, but it's really just because: ]
... I couldn't imagine my life without my mother. There was a time I thought she'd never come home, and I thought it was the end of the world. Even now being here without her, I miss being able to talk to her. [ not to mention things that have happened to a friend of theirs... ] It doesn't make sense to me how parents can't overcome obstacles to love their children permanently.
[ sits!! and pulls out the snackies.... it's a lot of fruits! apples, oranges, grapes.... ]
Oh, that's easy. I was the owner of Courrune, a guild of handymen, and we'd do any work that people needed assistance with. So most days was helping take care of people's work requests! Plus managing the Corps once Adolphe was gone, though I was never quite as good at it as he was.
I started Courrune because I thought that if I helped as many people as I could, then maybe some day someone would show up and they'd be able to love me. [ eats grapes as he talks about it. so many things started from his single-minded search for love ] I was really lucky when Hugo joined me—he's my best friend and partner. Courrune was just us two for most of those years.
But the Corps are a group of citizen soldiers, I guess you could say. We were created to help protect Coene, which is the commoner district, since the Royal Guard was often..... preoccupied.
[ yes, they are starting to see the pattern here. ]
So like the cops. [ that is their frame of reference. they also kind of pause with their orange-peeling. ] Royalty can rarely bother with the little people. It's beneath them.
[ thanks, zuriel. ]
So you ended up doing it yourself. Tell me about Hugo? How did you become friends?
[ honestly the royals are like. one of the sets of people that yves actually cannot bring himself to actively love and that's saying something. ]
Mm... well, I'm glad we were there to pick up where they couldn't.
But Hugo... [ he looks thoughtful. that one was less eventful than how he met adolphe ] Mm, I think he just... approached me one day after I was helping a man at the bar.
We hit it off, and then he left his noble life to be with me and help out at Courrune.
they will come back to ask about adolphe because they know nothing of this man. they very politely do not ask if yves wanted that man to love him, too, while he was at the bar. ]
I think it's hard for nobles to leave behind a comfortable life. He must have really believed in your vision. [ or he's really gay. that is an option. ] Did something happen to Adolphe that he couldn't run the Corps anymore? How did you meet him?
Oh, well... Adolphe died a few years back. [ monches grape. he's not happy to say it, but the sting is taken off a bit when he has since reunited with adolphe even if it's not exactly his adolphe ]
But I met him when I was kidnapped, I think. Though it's a pretty funny story.
Thanks. I was sorry it happened. [ a beat ] Devastated, really.
[ but he'll lightly lean against zuriel's side. ON TO HAPPIER THINGS ]
Well, I meant that one as a joke on purpose! I was just minding my business one day when this huge guy - think Marcoh's size - just picked me up! But I just thought it was a nice view from up there... The world really looks different!
[ laughs ]
He took me to the Corps' meeting spot - he was their leader, and he saw potential in me so it was a recruitment, I guess. Hugo came along, screaming the whole way... Adolphe was already part of the Corps though, and that's where we met!
Of course you were. Death isn't easy when it's someone you care about. [ allows the lean. leans in closer. it's fine, they can be supportive. ]
You do seem rather easy to grab if you're not paying attention. [ he is still tall, and yet. ] A funny kind of recruitment, though, when they could have asked like regular people. [ they say this but they think it's a little silly. ] Did you join them right away?
It depended on the work request. Since Coene is the commoner's district, some folks didn't have enough—and that's okay. It was more about helping people than it was about making money, for me. But sometimes we got bigger payments when people had the ability, and that worked out.
[ highly fluctuating work income... but yves just laughs a little bit at the second question ]
Great question! I still don't know the answer. He just started talking back to me one day, and it was really exciting!
Oh. [ as long as this fuck isn't working for free, that's fine. they can't exactly discount working to help people, but yves please also get something out of it to support yourself. ] Some of my jobs paid better than others, too. But I never quit any of them either.
[ there's a questioning, surprised little sound. ]
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Then I think it isn't as twisted as it could be.
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... I suppose so.
[ quiet, like he hadn't really thought of that before. it's easier to think of yourself as truly just so selfish when it's just you in your head. ]
I'm sorry that it sounds like things were hard for you before you came here.
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I mean it. [ it is not as selfish as he seems to think, nor is it as twisted as it sounds. there are so many people out there who pretend to care about others, and some of them aren't as nice as others. at least yves' feelings are (in his own head) genuine. but they shake their head. ]
It's alright. Things are better than they were, I think. [ they think, because now they are thinking about something else. ] Shouldn't that be what I say to you though?
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zuriel is so right... yves just has a very warped sense of self-perception due to trauma and his self-inflicted brain damage
though he looks confused at the last question ]
Oh? Me? Well, I think I actually had a pretty good life as a whole...
[ did you think he'd COMPLAIN? ]
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I think being excommunicated by people who were supposed to love you unconditionally would count as ill-fated, Yves. Even though it reflects more poorly on them than it ever would on you.
[ sorry, they are sticking to that point that his family should have at least loved him still. ]
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... I do think it hurt.
But I think they must've just been scared, and trying to do what they thought was best. I know that's still probably not a good enough reason when I tell it to others but...
They did love me once. I'm grateful for that.
[ the reason for his A+ in gratitude is truly because of this ]
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... I couldn't imagine my life without my mother. There was a time I thought she'd never come home, and I thought it was the end of the world. Even now being here without her, I miss being able to talk to her. [ not to mention things that have happened to a friend of theirs... ] It doesn't make sense to me how parents can't overcome obstacles to love their children permanently.
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but... wehhhh zuriel. yves squeezes their hand again then, looking down at them ]
I'm sorry. I wish you could be with her. But... I'm really happy that you were able to experience that kind of affection.
[ it's sweet and deserved! zuriel!! ]
I'm sure you carry her wisdom with you everywhere you go.
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It's okay. If anything, we should be focusing on all of you and getting you back.
[ the sentiment is sweet and they appreciate it because they do love their mom, but they are here for a job. ]
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[ said like it's not his immediate priority ]
Um... but I don't know what I should be reflecting on...
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It doesn't have to be as deep as the rest. Maybe start off with thinking of the things you used to do in your daily life. What kept you busy?
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Oh, that's easy. I was the owner of Courrune, a guild of handymen, and we'd do any work that people needed assistance with. So most days was helping take care of people's work requests! Plus managing the Corps once Adolphe was gone, though I was never quite as good at it as he was.
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Who are the Corps? What made you decide to start something like the Courrune?
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But the Corps are a group of citizen soldiers, I guess you could say. We were created to help protect Coene, which is the commoner district, since the Royal Guard was often..... preoccupied.
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So like the cops. [ that is their frame of reference. they also kind of pause with their orange-peeling. ] Royalty can rarely bother with the little people. It's beneath them.
[ thanks, zuriel. ]
So you ended up doing it yourself. Tell me about Hugo? How did you become friends?
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Mm... well, I'm glad we were there to pick up where they couldn't.
But Hugo... [ he looks thoughtful. that one was less eventful than how he met adolphe ] Mm, I think he just... approached me one day after I was helping a man at the bar.
We hit it off, and then he left his noble life to be with me and help out at Courrune.
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they will come back to ask about adolphe because they know nothing of this man. they very politely do not ask if yves wanted that man to love him, too, while he was at the bar. ]
I think it's hard for nobles to leave behind a comfortable life. He must have really believed in your vision. [ or he's really gay. that is an option. ] Did something happen to Adolphe that he couldn't run the Corps anymore? How did you meet him?
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Oh, well... Adolphe died a few years back. [ monches grape. he's not happy to say it, but the sting is taken off a bit when he has since reunited with adolphe even if it's not exactly his adolphe ]
But I met him when I was kidnapped, I think. Though it's a pretty funny story.
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[ they're about to ask what happened, but suddenly yves is saying more concerning shit. ]
Do you ever hear yourself sometimes? [ first and foremost. ] Alright, I'll ask. How was it funny when it involved a kidnapping?
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[ but he'll lightly lean against zuriel's side. ON TO HAPPIER THINGS ]
Well, I meant that one as a joke on purpose! I was just minding my business one day when this huge guy - think Marcoh's size - just picked me up! But I just thought it was a nice view from up there... The world really looks different!
[ laughs ]
He took me to the Corps' meeting spot - he was their leader, and he saw potential in me so it was a recruitment, I guess. Hugo came along, screaming the whole way... Adolphe was already part of the Corps though, and that's where we met!
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You do seem rather easy to grab if you're not paying attention. [ he is still tall, and yet. ] A funny kind of recruitment, though, when they could have asked like regular people. [ they say this but they think it's a little silly. ] Did you join them right away?
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Mm-hmm. It was nice—they were going to pay me, so I didn't worry as much about having enough to eat with just Courrune.
Adolphe didn't actually talk to me for the first few months... but that's alright. He gave me a chance eventually, and I'm really glad he did.
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... tell me more about Adolphe. How did you get him to give you that chance?
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[ highly fluctuating work income... but yves just laughs a little bit at the second question ]
Great question! I still don't know the answer. He just started talking back to me one day, and it was really exciting!
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[ there's a questioning, surprised little sound. ]
You never thought to ask him?
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