[ they do not bother with a second text, they are just heading that way. they are polite enough to knock though and wait a whole five seconds before entering the room. ]
actually no it's mostly okay. he's bandaged up and dressed in comfy clothes, no longer as the galaxy's cutest popstar, and is sitting on his bed, looking out the window. his chao, once seated in his lap, hops right up and immediately wanders over to greet them, which pulls taair out of his own head.
as ever - there's a soft little smile and a dip of his head. ]
[ oh, a baby. they crouch to pick up the chao and hold it in their arms as they march across the room and make themselves comfortable at the foot of the bed. ]
Hi. What the hell was all of that? [ mildly assertive here, but they were freaked out by the state of all of you. ]
the chao--riisha-- is sooo happy about this. he's a happy little guy immediately and plops contently in their lap when they sit. ]
Aha... I was hoping you might know the answer.[ though it sounds like he wasn't like, totally pinned on that hope. our poor angels. ] I'm not entirely sure... many parts of it still feel like a blur.
I remember last night - our wonderful gathering. I remember returning to my room, feeling a bit inebriated. And then... I woke up somewhere else, with no memory of this place at all.
[ they will let the chao hang out in their lap, it's probably cozy for them. ]
Absolutely not. One moment you were here, and then you weren't, and then you came back like this. [ gestures to his bandaged self. ] Where was the somewhere else? And what do you mean you didn't have your memories of here?
[ angels warm.... it seems happy since it is still close. ]
So we weren't here, after all... I didn't think so, either. [ mm. yeah. the horrors of war did not seem very heavenly.
it's nice to talk to zuriel - soothing, even if they're worried - and he closes his eyes. ]
I will warn that my memories are... blurry. I feel as though I have one foot in this life, in one foot in that. But when I awoke, I had forgotten about Heaven entirely - enough that I did not recognize anyone that I would have known, including Claude, Mizu and Richie. It was rather that I believed I had lived my entire life as a 'foxian', including the schooling of a healer, and that I was to head to the battlefront to assist soldiers in a war.
[ the horrors of war... they nod in understanding, and they hold onto the chao and watch him closely as he begins to relay the tale. ]
A foxian? [ like. like our foxian? they do not say this, but the implication is there. ] Did you remember anything about who you really are at all? People you may have met before... experiences... anything? [ this is troubling. ]
I don't know if I like the idea of you being on the front lines. Trained healer or not.
Yes. [ he hears the implication and confirms it - yes, just like their foxian. ] Jiaoqiu says that it may have been some echo of his life, based on our experiences.
But... I remembered... parts, I suppose. Snatches, here and there, at the end. Things got very confusing - I thought I heard his voice [ jiaoqiu's, that is ] at one point, but... otherwise, it was as if I'd never been here at all.
It wasn't until I awoke from unconsciousness in a bed, here, that I realized what happened, truly. [ at the last bit, his expression softens - soft, thankful, exhausted. his chao pats zuriel on the face. ] As for the front lines... a war is not something I am unfamiliar with - but it is the first time I was ever that close to it. I...
... It is a unique kind of suffering - to see the devastation it wreaks in blood, as opposed to in the refugees I once met with.
This shouldn't have happened. [ just stating the obvious, huh zuri. okay then. ] How can it be an echo of someone else's life you have to live through? And he wasn't with you at all? I don't... was this because of Sunday?
[ did killing jing yuan have something to do with this? ]
Context matters, Taair. I think you can be used to something and see how an event plays out, but it will always be different depending on your role. None of you should have been that close here, even though I know some of you have done this before.
[ a pause. ]
... what... was the war about? Who were you fighting?
[ thank you zuriel it is appreciated. the sunday thing... ]
...Maybe. [ taair says, a little uneasy, and then shakes his head. ] I hope not. He's already been through so much, and I worry that he will take it personally... it's not his fault.
[ but he knows jiaoqiu is like him - he knows he'll see their injuries, make the connection, and empathize. carry that burden, on a pair of thin shoulders that are already heavy. mouth pulling into a deep frown, he shakes his head. ]
I thank you for the concern as ever, my dear friend. As for the war... I'm not sure how it started, even now. But there were wolves and foxes, and the foxians were the prey of the borisin, the wolves. They were conquering, I'd imagine. For power, or resources, or even just for the sake of the carnage. For the food.
Maybe all we can do is assure him it isn't his fault. There's no way it can be. [ how could that be possible? but they also agree, it's entirely possible jiaoqiu will internalize guilt that isn't his own. ]
Wolves and foxes... [ this sounds vaguely familiar to things jiaoqiu has told them. ] Were you being hunted? If they would stop at nothing just for the sake of doing so.
I do. And I think holding onto the good ones is a good idea. [ but... ] But I also think you should talk about the bad ones when you feel ready. Keeping them to yourself won't help anyone, especially you. It sounds like you went through something terrible that's going to take some time to process. Sometimes it's better to get out of your own head than hide.
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week 1, thursday
Yes, of course. Where? Your room? Somewhere else?
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The door is open... please feel free to come in.
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Taair? [ what is the state of the bird... ]
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actually no it's mostly okay. he's bandaged up and dressed in comfy clothes, no longer as the galaxy's cutest popstar, and is sitting on his bed, looking out the window. his chao, once seated in his lap, hops right up and immediately wanders over to greet them, which pulls taair out of his own head.
as ever - there's a soft little smile and a dip of his head. ]
Hello, dear Zuriel.
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Hi. What the hell was all of that? [ mildly assertive here, but they were freaked out by the state of all of you. ]
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the chao--riisha-- is sooo happy about this. he's a happy little guy immediately and plops contently in their lap when they sit. ]
Aha... I was hoping you might know the answer.[ though it sounds like he wasn't like, totally pinned on that hope. our poor angels. ] I'm not entirely sure... many parts of it still feel like a blur.
I remember last night - our wonderful gathering. I remember returning to my room, feeling a bit inebriated. And then... I woke up somewhere else, with no memory of this place at all.
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Absolutely not. One moment you were here, and then you weren't, and then you came back like this. [ gestures to his bandaged self. ] Where was the somewhere else? And what do you mean you didn't have your memories of here?
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So we weren't here, after all... I didn't think so, either. [ mm. yeah. the horrors of war did not seem very heavenly.
it's nice to talk to zuriel - soothing, even if they're worried - and he closes his eyes. ]
I will warn that my memories are... blurry. I feel as though I have one foot in this life, in one foot in that. But when I awoke, I had forgotten about Heaven entirely - enough that I did not recognize anyone that I would have known, including Claude, Mizu and Richie. It was rather that I believed I had lived my entire life as a 'foxian', including the schooling of a healer, and that I was to head to the battlefront to assist soldiers in a war.
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A foxian? [ like. like our foxian? they do not say this, but the implication is there. ] Did you remember anything about who you really are at all? People you may have met before... experiences... anything? [ this is troubling. ]
I don't know if I like the idea of you being on the front lines. Trained healer or not.
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But... I remembered... parts, I suppose. Snatches, here and there, at the end. Things got very confusing - I thought I heard his voice [ jiaoqiu's, that is ] at one point, but... otherwise, it was as if I'd never been here at all.
It wasn't until I awoke from unconsciousness in a bed, here, that I realized what happened, truly. [ at the last bit, his expression softens - soft, thankful, exhausted. his chao pats zuriel on the face. ] As for the front lines... a war is not something I am unfamiliar with - but it is the first time I was ever that close to it. I...
... It is a unique kind of suffering - to see the devastation it wreaks in blood, as opposed to in the refugees I once met with.
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[ did killing jing yuan have something to do with this? ]
Context matters, Taair. I think you can be used to something and see how an event plays out, but it will always be different depending on your role. None of you should have been that close here, even though I know some of you have done this before.
[ a pause. ]
... what... was the war about? Who were you fighting?
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...Maybe. [ taair says, a little uneasy, and then shakes his head. ] I hope not. He's already been through so much, and I worry that he will take it personally... it's not his fault.
[ but he knows jiaoqiu is like him - he knows he'll see their injuries, make the connection, and empathize. carry that burden, on a pair of thin shoulders that are already heavy. mouth pulling into a deep frown, he shakes his head. ]
I thank you for the concern as ever, my dear friend. As for the war... I'm not sure how it started, even now. But there were wolves and foxes, and the foxians were the prey of the borisin, the wolves. They were conquering, I'd imagine. For power, or resources, or even just for the sake of the carnage. For the food.
[ the last part comes with a little shiver. ]
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Wolves and foxes... [ this sounds vaguely familiar to things jiaoqiu has told them. ] Were you being hunted? If they would stop at nothing just for the sake of doing so.
[ for. for the food? ]
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[ taair agrees, quietly, and - his gaze is far away for a second, as he considers it. hunted. torn. something shutters.
but he manages to snap himself out of it relatively quickly, shaking his head to clear away the mental image - teeth and tongue and blood. ]
... There were good moments among the bad, at least. I'm going to hold to those, as I can - you know me, my friend.
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