Yes. [ he hears the implication and confirms it - yes, just like their foxian. ] Jiaoqiu says that it may have been some echo of his life, based on our experiences.
But... I remembered... parts, I suppose. Snatches, here and there, at the end. Things got very confusing - I thought I heard his voice [ jiaoqiu's, that is ] at one point, but... otherwise, it was as if I'd never been here at all.
It wasn't until I awoke from unconsciousness in a bed, here, that I realized what happened, truly. [ at the last bit, his expression softens - soft, thankful, exhausted. his chao pats zuriel on the face. ] As for the front lines... a war is not something I am unfamiliar with - but it is the first time I was ever that close to it. I...
... It is a unique kind of suffering - to see the devastation it wreaks in blood, as opposed to in the refugees I once met with.
This shouldn't have happened. [ just stating the obvious, huh zuri. okay then. ] How can it be an echo of someone else's life you have to live through? And he wasn't with you at all? I don't... was this because of Sunday?
[ did killing jing yuan have something to do with this? ]
Context matters, Taair. I think you can be used to something and see how an event plays out, but it will always be different depending on your role. None of you should have been that close here, even though I know some of you have done this before.
[ a pause. ]
... what... was the war about? Who were you fighting?
[ thank you zuriel it is appreciated. the sunday thing... ]
...Maybe. [ taair says, a little uneasy, and then shakes his head. ] I hope not. He's already been through so much, and I worry that he will take it personally... it's not his fault.
[ but he knows jiaoqiu is like him - he knows he'll see their injuries, make the connection, and empathize. carry that burden, on a pair of thin shoulders that are already heavy. mouth pulling into a deep frown, he shakes his head. ]
I thank you for the concern as ever, my dear friend. As for the war... I'm not sure how it started, even now. But there were wolves and foxes, and the foxians were the prey of the borisin, the wolves. They were conquering, I'd imagine. For power, or resources, or even just for the sake of the carnage. For the food.
Maybe all we can do is assure him it isn't his fault. There's no way it can be. [ how could that be possible? but they also agree, it's entirely possible jiaoqiu will internalize guilt that isn't his own. ]
Wolves and foxes... [ this sounds vaguely familiar to things jiaoqiu has told them. ] Were you being hunted? If they would stop at nothing just for the sake of doing so.
I do. And I think holding onto the good ones is a good idea. [ but... ] But I also think you should talk about the bad ones when you feel ready. Keeping them to yourself won't help anyone, especially you. It sounds like you went through something terrible that's going to take some time to process. Sometimes it's better to get out of your own head than hide.
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But... I remembered... parts, I suppose. Snatches, here and there, at the end. Things got very confusing - I thought I heard his voice [ jiaoqiu's, that is ] at one point, but... otherwise, it was as if I'd never been here at all.
It wasn't until I awoke from unconsciousness in a bed, here, that I realized what happened, truly. [ at the last bit, his expression softens - soft, thankful, exhausted. his chao pats zuriel on the face. ] As for the front lines... a war is not something I am unfamiliar with - but it is the first time I was ever that close to it. I...
... It is a unique kind of suffering - to see the devastation it wreaks in blood, as opposed to in the refugees I once met with.
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[ did killing jing yuan have something to do with this? ]
Context matters, Taair. I think you can be used to something and see how an event plays out, but it will always be different depending on your role. None of you should have been that close here, even though I know some of you have done this before.
[ a pause. ]
... what... was the war about? Who were you fighting?
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...Maybe. [ taair says, a little uneasy, and then shakes his head. ] I hope not. He's already been through so much, and I worry that he will take it personally... it's not his fault.
[ but he knows jiaoqiu is like him - he knows he'll see their injuries, make the connection, and empathize. carry that burden, on a pair of thin shoulders that are already heavy. mouth pulling into a deep frown, he shakes his head. ]
I thank you for the concern as ever, my dear friend. As for the war... I'm not sure how it started, even now. But there were wolves and foxes, and the foxians were the prey of the borisin, the wolves. They were conquering, I'd imagine. For power, or resources, or even just for the sake of the carnage. For the food.
[ the last part comes with a little shiver. ]
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Wolves and foxes... [ this sounds vaguely familiar to things jiaoqiu has told them. ] Were you being hunted? If they would stop at nothing just for the sake of doing so.
[ for. for the food? ]
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[ taair agrees, quietly, and - his gaze is far away for a second, as he considers it. hunted. torn. something shutters.
but he manages to snap himself out of it relatively quickly, shaking his head to clear away the mental image - teeth and tongue and blood. ]
... There were good moments among the bad, at least. I'm going to hold to those, as I can - you know me, my friend.
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