Only another week or so now, yes. [ dreadful... ] Goodbyes are difficult when you aren't prepared. I don't know if it's better or worse to know it's coming at all. Being able to get things in order and say the things you want to say to one another.
... I'm not sure if that will be plausible in my own, for a variety of reasons...
[ all the freedom in the world, if he's able to get it, won't mitigate a lack of technology or magic. knowing that other worlds exist is an almost laughable concept for iria. A bigger birdcage, in the end. ]
I will have to ensure I send off the best of well wishes possible in the end, then.
Perhaps not yours, but... surely others. I imagine you won't lose full contact and you'll be able to stay in touch digitally. But if others are working on this in their worlds, it would only be a matter of time, wouldn't it? And in the end, when you do die again when you're supposed to, if you've been given that second chance to return it's guaranteed you'll be given the option to come back here again.
[ trapped and observing from a window, only able to reach out through a message. only able to wait on the actions of others. only a passive observer with well wishes. only able to know what sort of things lie just outside of his grasp. iria opens to him (maybe, at least: this timeline reset business requires him to have achieved whatever the parameters of redemption are, let alone anything else) but only with the monkey's paw curled.
death once again as the answer. some things in his life never change - while a part of him thought for a little while that maybe zuriel was right, that maybe his fate could change, it once again feels as though those cage bars are closing in.
taair smiles a little, soft, though it's hollow. ] ... yes, I suppose so.
[ the words of his thoughts scribble together like someone crumpling a paper, and then vanish. ]
The way I see it is this. You're already here, and you've already died. The world as you know it has already proceeded without you. In that time, you've come here, and you've found other things that make you happy, and things you may wish to do with your life to start anew.
I believe you don't have to return to your own home if that is something you do not wish, knowing time would continue to move on. You could return to a world that isn't your own, with people that are yours now. Their time will adjust to the point before their death, but their memories will be in tact. You will slip into the world with them.
The other option is to return, but make a plan before you leave. I'm sure other people want the same, and there must be something that can be done in other worlds that won't disrupt the balance of thirty other universes. That's the concern, I think. [ she's thinking on this... ] And of course, since you have all passed, there is the option of living out a peaceful life in the whole of heaven.
But I understand the choice isn't an easy one. I wouldn't expect anyone to make one so quickly.
[ as ever, he takes all of these things down - he's listening to all that zuriel gives him, all the options laid out. eventually, after a long, thoughtful moment: ] You are wise as ever, my friend... these are the options I have weighed, too.
You know how I feel about my home. [ soft and vulnerable, at first: his beloved iria, the subject of his magnum opus, of his hopes and dreams. ] I cannot leave Iria in the state that it was left. I don't know what it looks like there, now, but if I have the opportunity to reset their timeline and fix it, to give Princess Inanna and my dear friends in Convallaria Town to bring our world to a state of peace, then of course, I will take that opportunity above all.
Beyond that, you are right - that peace is fragile, and a new technology or magic entering could destroy it. We are able to hold onto peace for a matter of days. Snatches of weeks. One wrong move could upset that. One new resource is one new resource to fight over. I fear that installing the infrastructure to travel could cause shockwaves, if the wrong person found out. If Lady Caris was to come upon it - especially if I were the one to have it... [ his thoughts scribble over his head again, because that's terrifying, actually. ]
And as for joining others... to choose one world is to then forsake all others, under these terms. I do not know that I could do that. [ with a small smile. he has many dear and close friends he has made here: there is no choosing one over another. ] I am being far too greedy, I think.
Perhaps I can ask the Radiant to accept my life in exchange for the opportunity for the others to travel to each other. [ his death didn't matter, in the end, anyway. and he's been wishing for death for so long that maybe zuriel's right. maybe he'll wait in a new tower. death is an answer, after all. ] Though, that feels particularly arrogant... My life is hardly worth such a price.
[ after a moment, he shakes his head and sighs. ]
Of course... all of that is dependent of course on if I even succeed this judgement, whatever it might be. I've been turning these options over in my head nearly since we have arrived, but I have yet to come to any proper conclusion.
I do know how you feel about it. And I know you don't want to leave it the way that it was. There's a lot at stake there, and being able to go back two months and try again is a big opportunity, even if it feels like a big task as well.
[ she's thinking on this though. ]
It's similar to here, I think. And why trying to apply something like consistent travel between multiple worlds, for souls who initially passed on and then were already granted a big change by being revived, could cause everything to become unstable. But I do wonder if perhaps a friend from elsewhere would be able to connect to you from the outside, and grant you that option. Would Lady Caris know if it was something kept to you and you alone?
[ and now she frowns. ]
God doesn't believe in sacrifices. And giving up your own life would not only mean you can't return to Iria, you can't be with any of the people you've grown to care for. And there's no guarantee something like this would work either.
... I think it's going to be something to think of in the coming days. It might not hurt to talk to other people and see what solutions they think might be possible in their own homes, too. That's all.
It is more so the problem of gaining such a thing. If someone were to have to go to their home, develop it somehow, and then bring it to me, that would immediately and directly put it at risk: there are eyes on me all the time. Lady Caris does not ever look away.
Whereas, if it was something I could sneak in upon the arrival that you describe, where we 'slip' in, it might be easier for me to hide it from her, because nothing would have to be different.
[ he also is not entirely sure anyone who could potentially find that kind of technology or magic would ever remember him either, but that's life when you're in a tower, a bad habit of self loathing.
he falls quiet, looking down at the page, thoughts scrabbling together over his head - but, then shakes his head and offers her a soft, genuine smile, reaching out to gently set his hand on hers, if he can. ]
...I'm sorry, Zuriel. I do not mean to overworry you with these burdens. [ mmf. ] ...I know how much you treasure the bonds you have made. And I know this is hard for you, too.
[ it's going to bother her because she's fairly certain there's no way to change it here. revival itself is already a big step. meddling with so many worlds and timelines and alterations to bring people back and grant other wishes is... difficult. ]
I do wish there was a better answer. I just don't know what it may be. But there's still time to think of one, I suppose. When we leave, we'll be cut off from the rest of you as well. I would like to say there will be a way. But it's difficult. I'm sorry, too.
It's alright. In the end, it is nothing I am not used to, at least.
[ giving her hand a little squeeze, he smiles again - warmer, encouraging. ] But you've your dear, dear friends awaiting you when you return! You must be so very excited to see them again. You will have to write me letters about all of your adventures.
[ she allows the squeeze, but she also doesn't let go of his hand. hers now. ]
I am excited. It's been a while, and even though I knew they were safe at home it felt very strange not being able to talk to them. I'm sure they'll want to know all about you, too. They're nosy that way.
[ there's a pause. and then a faintly horrified face. ]
Gansey will likely try to write to you himself, actually.
[ swing the handsies back and forth. she knows goodbyes are hard, given she is going through it trying to understand her accidental goodbye to noah before he was erased from their memories, but she hopes maybe knowing he isn't likely to be completely cut off could help. ]
Our king, as it were. [ fond. and annoyed. ] You two are very similar, really. It's initially how I knew we would be friends when we first met. You both have a love for history and discovering the truth in everything, no matter how difficult the journey may seem.
ah, cute...he looks fond in return, warm at zuriel's friendship and at her description of her dear friend, too, and squeezes her hand. he really does sound amazing... ]
Fine values to have, indeed. [ with a soft laugh. ] That first time you told me of your adventures together, I almost felt jealous. I hope that is not unkind... but ah, it is the exact sort of life I would love to live.
I am very happy we have become such friends, my dear Zuriel. You are very dear to me.
I don't think it's unkind. I think Gansey started out that way himself, and then he became the person he knew he wanted to be rather than the person everyone expected him to be. That's the Gansey I fell in love with. Sometimes it really is just about taking a single step in the opposite direction of what "should" happen.
I'm happy, too. I'm glad we met. You've made this a lot more bearable, really.
Oh. Did I not mention before? [ of course she didn't because she's herself, and even being so grossly forever and ever in love with this nerd, sometimes she really goes "yeah he's not important as a boyfriend right now." ] I guess you could say we were fate.
[ cute... taair's feelings on fate are very complicated but his feelings on zuriel's happiness are not, and he smiles at her, raising his eyebrows, a twinkle in his eyes. ]
I suppose that's true. [ he has taken things well, and truthfully, everything has turned out fine. so maybe it's okay now? ]
I guess the first thing you should know is that I'm from a family of psychics. People who can see the future and read fates. So when I was young, my mom saw mine. And everyone else came up with the same results, as well. That was how I learned that if I were to ever kiss my true love, he would die.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
no subject
[ a quiet hum. ]
Do you think this will be goodbye forever?
no subject
no subject
[ curiously... tell him more ]
no subject
no subject
... I'm not sure if that will be plausible in my own, for a variety of reasons...
[ all the freedom in the world, if he's able to get it, won't mitigate a lack of technology or magic. knowing that other worlds exist is an almost laughable concept for iria. A bigger birdcage, in the end. ]
I will have to ensure I send off the best of well wishes possible in the end, then.
no subject
Perhaps not yours, but... surely others. I imagine you won't lose full contact and you'll be able to stay in touch digitally. But if others are working on this in their worlds, it would only be a matter of time, wouldn't it? And in the end, when you do die again when you're supposed to, if you've been given that second chance to return it's guaranteed you'll be given the option to come back here again.
no subject
death once again as the answer. some things in his life never change - while a part of him thought for a little while that maybe zuriel was right, that maybe his fate could change, it once again feels as though those cage bars are closing in.
taair smiles a little, soft, though it's hollow. ] ... yes, I suppose so.
[ the words of his thoughts scribble together like someone crumpling a paper, and then vanish. ]
We shall just have to see.
no subject
The way I see it is this. You're already here, and you've already died. The world as you know it has already proceeded without you. In that time, you've come here, and you've found other things that make you happy, and things you may wish to do with your life to start anew.
I believe you don't have to return to your own home if that is something you do not wish, knowing time would continue to move on. You could return to a world that isn't your own, with people that are yours now. Their time will adjust to the point before their death, but their memories will be in tact. You will slip into the world with them.
The other option is to return, but make a plan before you leave. I'm sure other people want the same, and there must be something that can be done in other worlds that won't disrupt the balance of thirty other universes. That's the concern, I think. [ she's thinking on this... ] And of course, since you have all passed, there is the option of living out a peaceful life in the whole of heaven.
But I understand the choice isn't an easy one. I wouldn't expect anyone to make one so quickly.
no subject
You know how I feel about my home. [ soft and vulnerable, at first: his beloved iria, the subject of his magnum opus, of his hopes and dreams. ] I cannot leave Iria in the state that it was left. I don't know what it looks like there, now, but if I have the opportunity to reset their timeline and fix it, to give Princess Inanna and my dear friends in Convallaria Town to bring our world to a state of peace, then of course, I will take that opportunity above all.
Beyond that, you are right - that peace is fragile, and a new technology or magic entering could destroy it. We are able to hold onto peace for a matter of days. Snatches of weeks. One wrong move could upset that. One new resource is one new resource to fight over. I fear that installing the infrastructure to travel could cause shockwaves, if the wrong person found out. If Lady Caris was to come upon it - especially if I were the one to have it... [ his thoughts scribble over his head again, because that's terrifying, actually. ]
And as for joining others... to choose one world is to then forsake all others, under these terms. I do not know that I could do that. [ with a small smile. he has many dear and close friends he has made here: there is no choosing one over another. ] I am being far too greedy, I think.
Perhaps I can ask the Radiant to accept my life in exchange for the opportunity for the others to travel to each other. [ his death didn't matter, in the end, anyway. and he's been wishing for death for so long that maybe zuriel's right. maybe he'll wait in a new tower. death is an answer, after all. ] Though, that feels particularly arrogant... My life is hardly worth such a price.
[ after a moment, he shakes his head and sighs. ]
Of course... all of that is dependent of course on if I even succeed this judgement, whatever it might be. I've been turning these options over in my head nearly since we have arrived, but I have yet to come to any proper conclusion.
no subject
[ she's thinking on this though. ]
It's similar to here, I think. And why trying to apply something like consistent travel between multiple worlds, for souls who initially passed on and then were already granted a big change by being revived, could cause everything to become unstable. But I do wonder if perhaps a friend from elsewhere would be able to connect to you from the outside, and grant you that option. Would Lady Caris know if it was something kept to you and you alone?
[ and now she frowns. ]
God doesn't believe in sacrifices. And giving up your own life would not only mean you can't return to Iria, you can't be with any of the people you've grown to care for. And there's no guarantee something like this would work either.
... I think it's going to be something to think of in the coming days. It might not hurt to talk to other people and see what solutions they think might be possible in their own homes, too. That's all.
no subject
Whereas, if it was something I could sneak in upon the arrival that you describe, where we 'slip' in, it might be easier for me to hide it from her, because nothing would have to be different.
[ he also is not entirely sure anyone who could potentially find that kind of technology or magic would ever remember him either, but that's life when you're in a tower, a bad habit of self loathing.
he falls quiet, looking down at the page, thoughts scrabbling together over his head - but, then shakes his head and offers her a soft, genuine smile, reaching out to gently set his hand on hers, if he can. ]
...I'm sorry, Zuriel. I do not mean to overworry you with these burdens. [ mmf. ] ...I know how much you treasure the bonds you have made. And I know this is hard for you, too.
no subject
I do wish there was a better answer. I just don't know what it may be. But there's still time to think of one, I suppose. When we leave, we'll be cut off from the rest of you as well. I would like to say there will be a way. But it's difficult. I'm sorry, too.
no subject
[ giving her hand a little squeeze, he smiles again - warmer, encouraging. ] But you've your dear, dear friends awaiting you when you return! You must be so very excited to see them again. You will have to write me letters about all of your adventures.
no subject
I am excited. It's been a while, and even though I knew they were safe at home it felt very strange not being able to talk to them. I'm sure they'll want to know all about you, too. They're nosy that way.
[ there's a pause. and then a faintly horrified face. ]
Gansey will likely try to write to you himself, actually.
no subject
help this is cute. it makes him smile, especially the last bit, and he props his chin in his free hand. ]
Your king, as it were? [ hehe ] You know I would simply love that. I've a feeling we'd have much to talk about...
no subject
Our king, as it were. [ fond. and annoyed. ] You two are very similar, really. It's initially how I knew we would be friends when we first met. You both have a love for history and discovering the truth in everything, no matter how difficult the journey may seem.
no subject
ah, cute...he looks fond in return, warm at zuriel's friendship and at her description of her dear friend, too, and squeezes her hand. he really does sound amazing... ]
Fine values to have, indeed. [ with a soft laugh. ] That first time you told me of your adventures together, I almost felt jealous. I hope that is not unkind... but ah, it is the exact sort of life I would love to live.
I am very happy we have become such friends, my dear Zuriel. You are very dear to me.
no subject
I'm happy, too. I'm glad we met. You've made this a lot more bearable, really.
no subject
chinhands ]
Fell in love with...? [ Not to sound too much like Yves... but he thinks this in the FONDEST way possible. ]
no subject
Oh. Did I not mention before? [ of course she didn't because she's herself, and even being so grossly forever and ever in love with this nerd, sometimes she really goes "yeah he's not important as a boyfriend right now." ] I guess you could say we were fate.
[ terrible as that was at the time. ]
no subject
Oh...? That sounds like a story. [ Tell Him ]
no subject
no subject
[ warmly. he squeezes her hand again. ]
I have not shied away from difficult things, no matter how much my heart aches for those who experienced them.
no subject
I guess the first thing you should know is that I'm from a family of psychics. People who can see the future and read fates. So when I was young, my mom saw mine. And everyone else came up with the same results, as well. That was how I learned that if I were to ever kiss my true love, he would die.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)