[ as ever, he takes all of these things down - he's listening to all that zuriel gives him, all the options laid out. eventually, after a long, thoughtful moment: ] You are wise as ever, my friend... these are the options I have weighed, too.
You know how I feel about my home. [ soft and vulnerable, at first: his beloved iria, the subject of his magnum opus, of his hopes and dreams. ] I cannot leave Iria in the state that it was left. I don't know what it looks like there, now, but if I have the opportunity to reset their timeline and fix it, to give Princess Inanna and my dear friends in Convallaria Town to bring our world to a state of peace, then of course, I will take that opportunity above all.
Beyond that, you are right - that peace is fragile, and a new technology or magic entering could destroy it. We are able to hold onto peace for a matter of days. Snatches of weeks. One wrong move could upset that. One new resource is one new resource to fight over. I fear that installing the infrastructure to travel could cause shockwaves, if the wrong person found out. If Lady Caris was to come upon it - especially if I were the one to have it... [ his thoughts scribble over his head again, because that's terrifying, actually. ]
And as for joining others... to choose one world is to then forsake all others, under these terms. I do not know that I could do that. [ with a small smile. he has many dear and close friends he has made here: there is no choosing one over another. ] I am being far too greedy, I think.
Perhaps I can ask the Radiant to accept my life in exchange for the opportunity for the others to travel to each other. [ his death didn't matter, in the end, anyway. and he's been wishing for death for so long that maybe zuriel's right. maybe he'll wait in a new tower. death is an answer, after all. ] Though, that feels particularly arrogant... My life is hardly worth such a price.
[ after a moment, he shakes his head and sighs. ]
Of course... all of that is dependent of course on if I even succeed this judgement, whatever it might be. I've been turning these options over in my head nearly since we have arrived, but I have yet to come to any proper conclusion.
I do know how you feel about it. And I know you don't want to leave it the way that it was. There's a lot at stake there, and being able to go back two months and try again is a big opportunity, even if it feels like a big task as well.
[ she's thinking on this though. ]
It's similar to here, I think. And why trying to apply something like consistent travel between multiple worlds, for souls who initially passed on and then were already granted a big change by being revived, could cause everything to become unstable. But I do wonder if perhaps a friend from elsewhere would be able to connect to you from the outside, and grant you that option. Would Lady Caris know if it was something kept to you and you alone?
[ and now she frowns. ]
God doesn't believe in sacrifices. And giving up your own life would not only mean you can't return to Iria, you can't be with any of the people you've grown to care for. And there's no guarantee something like this would work either.
... I think it's going to be something to think of in the coming days. It might not hurt to talk to other people and see what solutions they think might be possible in their own homes, too. That's all.
It is more so the problem of gaining such a thing. If someone were to have to go to their home, develop it somehow, and then bring it to me, that would immediately and directly put it at risk: there are eyes on me all the time. Lady Caris does not ever look away.
Whereas, if it was something I could sneak in upon the arrival that you describe, where we 'slip' in, it might be easier for me to hide it from her, because nothing would have to be different.
[ he also is not entirely sure anyone who could potentially find that kind of technology or magic would ever remember him either, but that's life when you're in a tower, a bad habit of self loathing.
he falls quiet, looking down at the page, thoughts scrabbling together over his head - but, then shakes his head and offers her a soft, genuine smile, reaching out to gently set his hand on hers, if he can. ]
...I'm sorry, Zuriel. I do not mean to overworry you with these burdens. [ mmf. ] ...I know how much you treasure the bonds you have made. And I know this is hard for you, too.
[ it's going to bother her because she's fairly certain there's no way to change it here. revival itself is already a big step. meddling with so many worlds and timelines and alterations to bring people back and grant other wishes is... difficult. ]
I do wish there was a better answer. I just don't know what it may be. But there's still time to think of one, I suppose. When we leave, we'll be cut off from the rest of you as well. I would like to say there will be a way. But it's difficult. I'm sorry, too.
It's alright. In the end, it is nothing I am not used to, at least.
[ giving her hand a little squeeze, he smiles again - warmer, encouraging. ] But you've your dear, dear friends awaiting you when you return! You must be so very excited to see them again. You will have to write me letters about all of your adventures.
[ she allows the squeeze, but she also doesn't let go of his hand. hers now. ]
I am excited. It's been a while, and even though I knew they were safe at home it felt very strange not being able to talk to them. I'm sure they'll want to know all about you, too. They're nosy that way.
[ there's a pause. and then a faintly horrified face. ]
Gansey will likely try to write to you himself, actually.
[ swing the handsies back and forth. she knows goodbyes are hard, given she is going through it trying to understand her accidental goodbye to noah before he was erased from their memories, but she hopes maybe knowing he isn't likely to be completely cut off could help. ]
Our king, as it were. [ fond. and annoyed. ] You two are very similar, really. It's initially how I knew we would be friends when we first met. You both have a love for history and discovering the truth in everything, no matter how difficult the journey may seem.
ah, cute...he looks fond in return, warm at zuriel's friendship and at her description of her dear friend, too, and squeezes her hand. he really does sound amazing... ]
Fine values to have, indeed. [ with a soft laugh. ] That first time you told me of your adventures together, I almost felt jealous. I hope that is not unkind... but ah, it is the exact sort of life I would love to live.
I am very happy we have become such friends, my dear Zuriel. You are very dear to me.
I don't think it's unkind. I think Gansey started out that way himself, and then he became the person he knew he wanted to be rather than the person everyone expected him to be. That's the Gansey I fell in love with. Sometimes it really is just about taking a single step in the opposite direction of what "should" happen.
I'm happy, too. I'm glad we met. You've made this a lot more bearable, really.
Oh. Did I not mention before? [ of course she didn't because she's herself, and even being so grossly forever and ever in love with this nerd, sometimes she really goes "yeah he's not important as a boyfriend right now." ] I guess you could say we were fate.
[ cute... taair's feelings on fate are very complicated but his feelings on zuriel's happiness are not, and he smiles at her, raising his eyebrows, a twinkle in his eyes. ]
I suppose that's true. [ he has taken things well, and truthfully, everything has turned out fine. so maybe it's okay now? ]
I guess the first thing you should know is that I'm from a family of psychics. People who can see the future and read fates. So when I was young, my mom saw mine. And everyone else came up with the same results, as well. That was how I learned that if I were to ever kiss my true love, he would die.
...well. I wouldn't say we changed fate, really. [ a thoughtful frown. ] Gansey still died when we kissed. It was necessary, and he knew it would happen, but even knowing that it was difficult to prepare for it. So we made another sacrifice to bring him back to us.
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You know how I feel about my home. [ soft and vulnerable, at first: his beloved iria, the subject of his magnum opus, of his hopes and dreams. ] I cannot leave Iria in the state that it was left. I don't know what it looks like there, now, but if I have the opportunity to reset their timeline and fix it, to give Princess Inanna and my dear friends in Convallaria Town to bring our world to a state of peace, then of course, I will take that opportunity above all.
Beyond that, you are right - that peace is fragile, and a new technology or magic entering could destroy it. We are able to hold onto peace for a matter of days. Snatches of weeks. One wrong move could upset that. One new resource is one new resource to fight over. I fear that installing the infrastructure to travel could cause shockwaves, if the wrong person found out. If Lady Caris was to come upon it - especially if I were the one to have it... [ his thoughts scribble over his head again, because that's terrifying, actually. ]
And as for joining others... to choose one world is to then forsake all others, under these terms. I do not know that I could do that. [ with a small smile. he has many dear and close friends he has made here: there is no choosing one over another. ] I am being far too greedy, I think.
Perhaps I can ask the Radiant to accept my life in exchange for the opportunity for the others to travel to each other. [ his death didn't matter, in the end, anyway. and he's been wishing for death for so long that maybe zuriel's right. maybe he'll wait in a new tower. death is an answer, after all. ] Though, that feels particularly arrogant... My life is hardly worth such a price.
[ after a moment, he shakes his head and sighs. ]
Of course... all of that is dependent of course on if I even succeed this judgement, whatever it might be. I've been turning these options over in my head nearly since we have arrived, but I have yet to come to any proper conclusion.
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[ she's thinking on this though. ]
It's similar to here, I think. And why trying to apply something like consistent travel between multiple worlds, for souls who initially passed on and then were already granted a big change by being revived, could cause everything to become unstable. But I do wonder if perhaps a friend from elsewhere would be able to connect to you from the outside, and grant you that option. Would Lady Caris know if it was something kept to you and you alone?
[ and now she frowns. ]
God doesn't believe in sacrifices. And giving up your own life would not only mean you can't return to Iria, you can't be with any of the people you've grown to care for. And there's no guarantee something like this would work either.
... I think it's going to be something to think of in the coming days. It might not hurt to talk to other people and see what solutions they think might be possible in their own homes, too. That's all.
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Whereas, if it was something I could sneak in upon the arrival that you describe, where we 'slip' in, it might be easier for me to hide it from her, because nothing would have to be different.
[ he also is not entirely sure anyone who could potentially find that kind of technology or magic would ever remember him either, but that's life when you're in a tower, a bad habit of self loathing.
he falls quiet, looking down at the page, thoughts scrabbling together over his head - but, then shakes his head and offers her a soft, genuine smile, reaching out to gently set his hand on hers, if he can. ]
...I'm sorry, Zuriel. I do not mean to overworry you with these burdens. [ mmf. ] ...I know how much you treasure the bonds you have made. And I know this is hard for you, too.
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I do wish there was a better answer. I just don't know what it may be. But there's still time to think of one, I suppose. When we leave, we'll be cut off from the rest of you as well. I would like to say there will be a way. But it's difficult. I'm sorry, too.
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[ giving her hand a little squeeze, he smiles again - warmer, encouraging. ] But you've your dear, dear friends awaiting you when you return! You must be so very excited to see them again. You will have to write me letters about all of your adventures.
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I am excited. It's been a while, and even though I knew they were safe at home it felt very strange not being able to talk to them. I'm sure they'll want to know all about you, too. They're nosy that way.
[ there's a pause. and then a faintly horrified face. ]
Gansey will likely try to write to you himself, actually.
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help this is cute. it makes him smile, especially the last bit, and he props his chin in his free hand. ]
Your king, as it were? [ hehe ] You know I would simply love that. I've a feeling we'd have much to talk about...
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Our king, as it were. [ fond. and annoyed. ] You two are very similar, really. It's initially how I knew we would be friends when we first met. You both have a love for history and discovering the truth in everything, no matter how difficult the journey may seem.
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ah, cute...he looks fond in return, warm at zuriel's friendship and at her description of her dear friend, too, and squeezes her hand. he really does sound amazing... ]
Fine values to have, indeed. [ with a soft laugh. ] That first time you told me of your adventures together, I almost felt jealous. I hope that is not unkind... but ah, it is the exact sort of life I would love to live.
I am very happy we have become such friends, my dear Zuriel. You are very dear to me.
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I'm happy, too. I'm glad we met. You've made this a lot more bearable, really.
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chinhands ]
Fell in love with...? [ Not to sound too much like Yves... but he thinks this in the FONDEST way possible. ]
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Oh. Did I not mention before? [ of course she didn't because she's herself, and even being so grossly forever and ever in love with this nerd, sometimes she really goes "yeah he's not important as a boyfriend right now." ] I guess you could say we were fate.
[ terrible as that was at the time. ]
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Oh...? That sounds like a story. [ Tell Him ]
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[ warmly. he squeezes her hand again. ]
I have not shied away from difficult things, no matter how much my heart aches for those who experienced them.
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I guess the first thing you should know is that I'm from a family of psychics. People who can see the future and read fates. So when I was young, my mom saw mine. And everyone else came up with the same results, as well. That was how I learned that if I were to ever kiss my true love, he would die.
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...Thus our conversation about fate, in the house of cards. [ about what it means to keep a fate, and break it. ]
Was that Gansey, do you think? Yet, you are here, and he is not.
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It was Gansey, and I'm here and he's not because we brought him back to life in the end. [ a pause. ] Also, I'm not actually dead.
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[ the relief in his voice is so genuine with that. like. oh, thank goodness - on both counts, for zuriel and for gansey, alike. ]
...It's a bit like a fairytale, when you step back from it. To save your true love's life and change your fate.
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