[ sweet lucas coming to check in on them but she can't really acknowledge it right now. she wants to because that is her lucas, but... they all have their own demons and dreams to face it would seem.
she is also still feeling spiteful.
Is that what you caring for someone gets us?
it isn't just the missing finger that aches, but her left pinky will as well. she knows that voice from hearing her sing a haunting lullaby to the life she longed for. she knows that voice from whenever she would lash out and take her anger out on maomao. that withered rose who took a gamble on love by having maomao and lost horribly. the woman who cut off her own and her child's pinkies to mail them as a curse on that man.
maomao is the product of the poison love can produce and why she should never let herself fall in love. she thinks about the conversation with claude about how nice it would be not to feel things or to be able to turn it on and off.
then there's her old man and mentor. the one who picked up this unwanted stray cat born at the brothels and gave her a home. the one who introduced her to the world of medicine and how you can make medicine from poison. she really misses him and really wants to go there to see him.
however, he never compliments her like this. he has never said he was proud. the only one he has ever compliment was that man, and it pisses her off. ]
[IT'S FINE HE IS SO IMMEDIATELY DISTRACTED BY THIS DUAL FLESH MONSTER VISION THEY'VE ALL BEEN BESTOWED WITH..... HATEFUL. HOPEFULLY EVERYONE ELSE AND HIS CHILD AND THE YVESLEGS ARE FINE BECAUSE HE'S CHECKED OUTTIE.
What Lucas wants to see is the dream. This is everything he's ever prayed for, even if he and his sister are fucking furries. She stands on her own without a wheelchair, she looks healthy, she's so radiant in a wellness that Lucas has never seen in her before and it's so beautiful that it makes him start to cry, too, so at least sweet Neverah isn't alone. He so, so desperately wants to run to her and scoop her up into his stupid little furry arms and hold her and tell her how well she's done to persist this long, and it's such an overwhelming feeling that it overrides the little flicker of selfish want that wishes for his own body to be healed so that he can continue to live alongside her in health.
But unfortunately, he cannot just ignore the other half of his double vision, which is much more familiar to him, calling out to his overprotective nature. Nadia's collapsing and coughing up blood. He stumbles forward toward her reflexively, and as the tongue lashes out to scoop her up and raise her high above his head to devour her whole, he lets loose a high and horrified scream and immediately reaches upward as if he could chase after her.]
[it would be so easy to fall in love with the dream. a world where rokuhira is alive, everyone is alive. one where uruha didn't lose his will to live years ago, held together only by a painful sense of duty.
but it's because of that that the dream is too jarring. because uruha is more of a weapon at this point, forged by expectations and grief and wielded by those who see him as an asset, or by those he placed his loyalty in—but above all by the legacy of the dead. without them, he is nothing.
it's not even so much a matter of temptation, as so much as it is something trying to stab through a wall of depression and blunting itself against the shell. he hates the nightmare, despairs over watching them all die before his eyes even more than receiving word of their death or seeing their corpses put on display, but it is what's familiar (them, you know, being furries aside). still not quite right, because even at his lowest, uruha has never let go of what needs to be done—live for the sake of his purpose, if nothing else—but it feels closer to reality than anything else.
he presses the rabbit closer against him, this one life he has tried to protect even though as far as he knows this is just a random normal bunny that lucas loves and thinks talks and has named after uruha's mentor for some reason.]
... What is this supposed to be?
[GUESS HE'S TALKING TO MAOMAO (if anyone at all, he's talking to himself out loud, really) BECAUSE NEVERAH AND LUCAS ARE GOING THROUGH IT.]
And strangely enough, it's the rabbit that answers, except for the first time this entire cyoa everyone can hear it: ]
Well, that's a matter of perspective, isn't it?
[ oh, but the rabbit in his arms is quiet, still conked out and breathing softly. it is just the rabbit's voice coming out of the monster. so actually lucas is the only one who knows that's the fucking rabbit. but it's a sweet child's voice. ]
What do you see? What is the reality?
[ it doesn't talk out loud after this, but instead they feel the message deep in their own cores:
Does your sister hate you? Is your mortal life forfeit, your sins too many to count? Or will you meet again and she will welcome you with open arms and open heart, having missed you just as much as you've missed her despite everything?
Is there no point to loving someone? If you try, are you doomed to be just as your progenitors, a product of the poison that ran through them as surely as it did you? Or can you prove yourself worthy? Not just of your father's praise, but worthy to solve and uncover everything you've wanted to?
Can your sister truly be cured? Can the two of you live on, past the curses and illnesses saddled onto you, finally free to be together naturally for as long as a true natural life would be? Or is she doomed to die, if not by the disease than by your absence, your failure to protect her? And even if she were to live, could you really be by her side?
Will you ever be anything else but the weapon you've forged yourself to be? Could you manage to become a person again? To succeed in this unending war? Or is the truth that you're doomed to lose everyone and everything, too weak to save them and too stupid to recognize betrayal before it stabs you in the back? Is death and betrayal constantly surrounding you an inevitability? ]
What path do you believe?
[ if you had to choose, which are more likely: your fears or your dreams? ]
[it's a strange thing, being asked what she believes - what she wants is an easier question. she wants to go home, she wants to see her family and her friends. she wants to be able to even look at herself without seeing echoes of what she'd become in the end, the darkness that moves through her very veins. she wants to be human again in every sense of the word; not a figurehead of the country, not a vessel for magic, not a goddess. just a normal woman, living a normal life again. it feels like very much and very little to ask, at once.
but belief is something different than desire. she's been powerless enough times to know that. idly, she rubs her tears away, pushing away the shock of a world where she's ruined things between them irrevocably. she tries to stop and listen for once, not just to react blindly, to ignore the ache for a moment. she remembers the immediate moments before she came here, being held in someone's arms. her sister telling her that she loved her as she faded from consciousness, from life itself.
all we ever wanted to do was save each other.
she can at least logically know what the truth is, even if it's difficult to parse emotionally. her voice still sounds raw as she speaks, but:]
I just think that love is wonderful So I hope you get to experience it one day
according to the women in the brothels, love is a curse, while for men it's a blessing. it's very rare that a woman can actually find love and they can be discarded after being used.
however, when it comes to wanting to solve and uncover everything? she wants to. that deep curiosity and need to get to the bottom of things... the desire to learn all that she can about what happened to zhongli as well as everything left unsolved back in her world. that is much more easier for her to answer ]
I need to find the answers. I have to see where this will lead me...
[THAT'S HIS CHILD. His gaze briefly snaps back toward the rabbit because he's the only keeper of this arcane knowledge, but then back to the monster that has STOLEN HIS CHILD'S VOICE.
Anyway.
Despite the fact that the fear was the thing grabbing Lucas' attention first and foremost when faced with both visions of possible realities at the same time, his heart is still that of a highly devout person. When asked what is reality and what he believes in, he just thinks about everything he's done up to this point, every step he's taken, every promise that's been made to him and that he's made in return.
My god is a loving one, he's said more than once to people here, and he believes it. He believes it because he has to. He has to hold onto that golden future with all of his horrible strength, or what good is it?]
God will save that child! She'll walk freely under the blue sky someday — I know that she will!
anyhow, like for a few others, it's a difficult thing for uruha to answer—in part because there are a few questions here that, for him, are separate matters. also because he is recovering from a cold and injured all over with 10x the sense of pain so thinking is fucking hard actually?]
No matter what, I'll find a way to win.
[he believes he can succeed. if nothing else, he can protect japan, protect chihiro as rokuhira's legacy. as for everything else, though—]
... Even if there might not be anything left for me after.
[while he's not so melodramatic that he can't rationally acknowledge himself as a person, he's long since stopped feeling like one. even here, when people do things like give him compliments, a part of him wonders: who are these for? everything about uruha yoji besides his swordsmanship, besides his status as kumeyuri's wielder—that's all fallen to the wayside and become irrelevant. he can't even resent it.
at this point, he has accepted that he can't stop himself from caring about people, might even let himself actively do so (because he needs people in his life, he does not know how to live without attaching himself to others), but he can't shake the feeling that he will always lose them in some fashion. the fear that in the end, he won't be able to hold onto what he loves and they'll slip through his fingers.
after all, he is first and foremost focused on the mission, on purpose and victory. if everything else in his life has to be sacrificed for that, then so be it. the cold ruthlessness of who and what he is. he's part of his own problem, and he's had to accept that.]
[ Well. You all chose SOME version of dream, though maybe not an outright one. Maybe that's why, when their vision stops doubling with dreams and nightmares, the flesh and eyes fade. The ominous monster vanishes from sight. But so, too, do their loved ones--but not any corpses they might have left behind. (YVES.)
For a very brief moment, they see a large axolotl like a constellation in the night sky, staring down at them, but it too vanishes.
Uruha and Lucas see that they are standing on top of a peaceful, picturesque mountain. But it is no longer quite as colorful as it used to be. At the very top, right where they are standing, there is a dilapidated shrine with wishes written on paper hanging like decorations. One of them is signed Nadia. The sun is rising. The breeze is nice. There are bodies and monsters still on this mountain, but they have done their part.
Neverah and Maomao have moved from the cold building to its exit, rusted stairs and dilapidated computer systems leading to a vast, lush expense of green. The warmth of the sun as it shines bright over the horizon feels good, despite the darkness still lurking in every corner of the tower they have left behind. There is a small radio sending a signal to a robot who was too afraid to go on its own journey and will never see its friend again for it.
We made it, the signal sends. I think you'd like the open sky.
They are not animals or robots. They are under no delusions. They are all people who have suffered, today and otherwise. Maybe today's decisions never mattered at all. They can't tell. They just know it is over for now.
and also, there's a rabbit with them cuddling uruha. that rabbit didn't leave. it's here forever now i guess. what the fuck
With this final vision, they black out.
Congratulations on finishing the cyoa! Here are your prizes:
General effect: - All wounds transfer to how they would on a regular human being. You can be less wounded than you were at the end to make it more playable since healing items aren't a guarantee but honestly go with what your heart desires. lucas can fall down from a super high height if aki wants more woundage even.
- Speaking of regular human beings! On top of keeping the memory of the CYOA and knowing exactly what went down as animals/robots, they will also remember the entire thing happening but with actual human people. Like they know and remember that they were Not Human at the time but when they remember what happened the visuals are all human, baby. take that trauma. (the rabbit appears as a small child in these memories. that's right. assigned personhood but only in memories.)
- Up until the end of trial on Saturday, all four of them will be prone to hallucinations. Maybe they see the people around them as furries or robots; maybe they see someone dead who shouldn't be. Maybe they see a vision where everything is fine and amazing or maybe they see a nightmare. Maybe they mix up who someone is while talking directly to them. Go nuts! How often and severe is up to you.
- The wounds inflicted by the tongue on Uruha and Lucas will stay pinprick thousand needles until saturday morning or they are healed
- Emotional psychic damage stays until Friday (time of your choosing; pre or post body reveal). ex: Neverah and Maomao will keep their feelings of abandonment/betrayal, Uruha will feel more paranoid, Lucas will. be lightly anxious and talk to bunnies. idk aki you rolled too high
Items
- Radio transmitter (Lets you have one 20 comment conversation with the graveyard/living depending on which of you gets it)
- A key on a lanyard (lets you open any locked door, 2 uses)
- A snowglobe. Sometimes it looks like a small shrine on top of a mountain in a snowglobe. Sometimes it looks like a covered city. (1 use, make someone see whatever you want them to see.)
- a rat(?) plushie (1 use: will eat anything put near its mouth no matter the size.)
Bonus: A rabbit. It can talk but only Lucas can understand it. Fuck you. Keep your pet/child.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
holyspirits) wrote2025-03-09 08:53 pm
make your own memes actually
no subject
she is also still feeling spiteful.
Is that what you caring for someone gets us?
it isn't just the missing finger that aches, but her left pinky will as well. she knows that voice from hearing her sing a haunting lullaby to the life she longed for.
she knows that voice from whenever she would lash out and take her anger out on maomao.
that withered rose who took a gamble on love by having maomao and lost horribly. the woman who cut off her own and her child's pinkies to mail them as a curse on that man.
maomao is the product of the poison love can produce and why she should never let herself fall in love. she thinks about the conversation with claude about how nice it would be not to feel things or to be able to turn it on and off.
then there's her old man and mentor. the one who picked up this unwanted stray cat born at the brothels and gave her a home. the one who introduced her to the world of medicine and how you can make medicine from poison. she really misses him and really wants to go there to see him.
however, he never compliments her like this. he has never said he was proud. the only one he has ever compliment was that man, and it pisses her off. ]
Is this the temptation?
no subject
What Lucas wants to see is the dream. This is everything he's ever prayed for, even if he and his sister are fucking furries. She stands on her own without a wheelchair, she looks healthy, she's so radiant in a wellness that Lucas has never seen in her before and it's so beautiful that it makes him start to cry, too, so at least sweet Neverah isn't alone. He so, so desperately wants to run to her and scoop her up into his stupid little furry arms and hold her and tell her how well she's done to persist this long, and it's such an overwhelming feeling that it overrides the little flicker of selfish want that wishes for his own body to be healed so that he can continue to live alongside her in health.
But unfortunately, he cannot just ignore the other half of his double vision, which is much more familiar to him, calling out to his overprotective nature. Nadia's collapsing and coughing up blood. He stumbles forward toward her reflexively, and as the tongue lashes out to scoop her up and raise her high above his head to devour her whole, he lets loose a high and horrified scream and immediately reaches upward as if he could chase after her.]
Nadia!! Nadia—!
no subject
but it's because of that that the dream is too jarring. because uruha is more of a weapon at this point, forged by expectations and grief and wielded by those who see him as an asset, or by those he placed his loyalty in—but above all by the legacy of the dead. without them, he is nothing.
it's not even so much a matter of temptation, as so much as it is something trying to stab through a wall of depression and blunting itself against the shell. he hates the nightmare, despairs over watching them all die before his eyes even more than receiving word of their death or seeing their corpses put on display, but it is what's familiar (them, you know, being furries aside). still not quite right, because even at his lowest, uruha has never let go of what needs to be done—live for the sake of his purpose, if nothing else—but it feels closer to reality than anything else.
he presses the rabbit closer against him, this one life he has tried to protect even though as far as he knows this is just a random normal bunny that lucas loves and thinks talks and has named after uruha's mentor for some reason.]
... What is this supposed to be?
[GUESS HE'S TALKING TO MAOMAO (if anyone at all, he's talking to himself out loud, really) BECAUSE NEVERAH AND LUCAS ARE GOING THROUGH IT.]
no subject
And strangely enough, it's the rabbit that answers, except for the first time this entire cyoa everyone can hear it: ]
Well, that's a matter of perspective, isn't it?
[ oh, but the rabbit in his arms is quiet, still conked out and breathing softly. it is just the rabbit's voice coming out of the monster. so actually lucas is the only one who knows that's the fucking rabbit. but it's a sweet child's voice. ]
What do you see? What is the reality?
[ it doesn't talk out loud after this, but instead they feel the message deep in their own cores:
Does your sister hate you? Is your mortal life forfeit, your sins too many to count? Or will you meet again and she will welcome you with open arms and open heart, having missed you just as much as you've missed her despite everything?
Is there no point to loving someone? If you try, are you doomed to be just as your progenitors, a product of the poison that ran through them as surely as it did you? Or can you prove yourself worthy? Not just of your father's praise, but worthy to solve and uncover everything you've wanted to?
Can your sister truly be cured? Can the two of you live on, past the curses and illnesses saddled onto you, finally free to be together naturally for as long as a true natural life would be? Or is she doomed to die, if not by the disease than by your absence, your failure to protect her? And even if she were to live, could you really be by her side?
Will you ever be anything else but the weapon you've forged yourself to be? Could you manage to become a person again? To succeed in this unending war? Or is the truth that you're doomed to lose everyone and everything, too weak to save them and too stupid to recognize betrayal before it stabs you in the back? Is death and betrayal constantly surrounding you an inevitability? ]
What path do you believe?
[ if you had to choose, which are more likely: your fears or your dreams? ]
no subject
but belief is something different than desire. she's been powerless enough times to know that. idly, she rubs her tears away, pushing away the shock of a world where she's ruined things between them irrevocably. she tries to stop and listen for once, not just to react blindly, to ignore the ache for a moment. she remembers the immediate moments before she came here, being held in someone's arms. her sister telling her that she loved her as she faded from consciousness, from life itself.
all we ever wanted to do was save each other.
she can at least logically know what the truth is, even if it's difficult to parse emotionally. her voice still sounds raw as she speaks, but:]
She loves me. I don't know about the rest.
no subject
I just think that love is wonderful
So I hope you get to experience it one day
according to the women in the brothels, love is a curse, while for men it's a blessing. it's very rare that a woman can actually find love and they can be discarded after being used.
however, when it comes to wanting to solve and uncover everything? she wants to. that deep curiosity and need to get to the bottom of things... the desire to learn all that she can about what happened to zhongli as well as everything left unsolved back in her world. that is much more easier for her to answer ]
I need to find the answers. I have to see where this will lead me...
no subject
Anyway.
Despite the fact that the fear was the thing grabbing Lucas' attention first and foremost when faced with both visions of possible realities at the same time, his heart is still that of a highly devout person. When asked what is reality and what he believes in, he just thinks about everything he's done up to this point, every step he's taken, every promise that's been made to him and that he's made in return.
My god is a loving one, he's said more than once to people here, and he believes it. He believes it because he has to. He has to hold onto that golden future with all of his horrible strength, or what good is it?]
God will save that child! She'll walk freely under the blue sky someday — I know that she will!
[GOD HELP. HELP GOD.]
no subject
anyhow, like for a few others, it's a difficult thing for uruha to answer—in part because there are a few questions here that, for him, are separate matters. also because he is recovering from a cold and injured all over with 10x the sense of pain so thinking is fucking hard actually?]
No matter what, I'll find a way to win.
[he believes he can succeed. if nothing else, he can protect japan, protect chihiro as rokuhira's legacy. as for everything else, though—]
... Even if there might not be anything left for me after.
[while he's not so melodramatic that he can't rationally acknowledge himself as a person, he's long since stopped feeling like one. even here, when people do things like give him compliments, a part of him wonders: who are these for? everything about uruha yoji besides his swordsmanship, besides his status as kumeyuri's wielder—that's all fallen to the wayside and become irrelevant. he can't even resent it.
at this point, he has accepted that he can't stop himself from caring about people, might even let himself actively do so (because he needs people in his life, he does not know how to live without attaching himself to others), but he can't shake the feeling that he will always lose them in some fashion. the fear that in the end, he won't be able to hold onto what he loves and they'll slip through his fingers.
after all, he is first and foremost focused on the mission, on purpose and victory. if everything else in his life has to be sacrificed for that, then so be it. the cold ruthlessness of who and what he is. he's part of his own problem, and he's had to accept that.]
THE END
[ Well. You all chose SOME version of dream, though maybe not an outright one. Maybe that's why, when their vision stops doubling with dreams and nightmares, the flesh and eyes fade. The ominous monster vanishes from sight. But so, too, do their loved ones--but not any corpses they might have left behind. (YVES.)
For a very brief moment, they see a large axolotl like a constellation in the night sky, staring down at them, but it too vanishes.
Uruha and Lucas see that they are standing on top of a peaceful, picturesque mountain. But it is no longer quite as colorful as it used to be. At the very top, right where they are standing, there is a dilapidated shrine with wishes written on paper hanging like decorations. One of them is signed Nadia. The sun is rising. The breeze is nice. There are bodies and monsters still on this mountain, but they have done their part.
Neverah and Maomao have moved from the cold building to its exit, rusted stairs and dilapidated computer systems leading to a vast, lush expense of green. The warmth of the sun as it shines bright over the horizon feels good, despite the darkness still lurking in every corner of the tower they have left behind. There is a small radio sending a signal to a robot who was too afraid to go on its own journey and will never see its friend again for it.
We made it, the signal sends. I think you'd like the open sky.
They are not animals or robots. They are under no delusions. They are all people who have suffered, today and otherwise. Maybe today's decisions never mattered at all. They can't tell. They just know it is over for now.
and also, there's a rabbit with them cuddling uruha. that rabbit didn't leave. it's here forever now i guess. what the fuck
With this final vision, they black out.
Congratulations on finishing the cyoa! Here are your prizes:
General effect: - All wounds transfer to how they would on a regular human being. You can be less wounded than you were at the end to make it more playable since healing items aren't a guarantee but honestly go with what your heart desires. lucas can fall down from a super high height if aki wants more woundage even.
- Speaking of regular human beings! On top of keeping the memory of the CYOA and knowing exactly what went down as animals/robots, they will also remember the entire thing happening but with actual human people. Like they know and remember that they were Not Human at the time but when they remember what happened the visuals are all human, baby. take that trauma. (the rabbit appears as a small child in these memories. that's right. assigned personhood but only in memories.)
- Up until the end of trial on Saturday, all four of them will be prone to hallucinations. Maybe they see the people around them as furries or robots; maybe they see someone dead who shouldn't be. Maybe they see a vision where everything is fine and amazing or maybe they see a nightmare. Maybe they mix up who someone is while talking directly to them. Go nuts! How often and severe is up to you.
- The wounds inflicted by the tongue on Uruha and Lucas will stay pinprick thousand needles until saturday morning or they are healed
- Emotional psychic damage stays until Friday (time of your choosing; pre or post body reveal). ex: Neverah and Maomao will keep their feelings of abandonment/betrayal, Uruha will feel more paranoid, Lucas will. be lightly anxious and talk to bunnies. idk aki you rolled too high
Items
- Radio transmitter (Lets you have one 20 comment conversation with the graveyard/living depending on which of you gets it)
- A key on a lanyard (lets you open any locked door, 2 uses)
- A snowglobe. Sometimes it looks like a small shrine on top of a mountain in a snowglobe. Sometimes it looks like a covered city. (1 use, make someone see whatever you want them to see.)
- a rat(?) plushie (1 use: will eat anything put near its mouth no matter the size.)
Bonus: A rabbit. It can talk but only Lucas can understand it. Fuck you. Keep your pet/child.
ok bye ]