[ she still thinks it's stupid to apologize for someone else.
and then she pauses, thinking about how often gansey would have to apologize for ronan, because ronan was too busy being an ass and being focused on what he actually wanted to do instead of the things he needed to do (like attend class.) viktor can probably see the shift in her expression as she seems to make the connection, at least. ]
... I don't agree with her goals. And so long as the rest of you don't either, I suppose that's well enough.
[She is valid and also me IRL. Wipes the connection away so she can continue to be valid even though she now understands just what he means.]
I will have to find out what exactly her goals happen to be before I can say I don't agree.
[The goal part anyway. He kind of has bad execution, too. He does not think so, but it's true.]
I can say I do not agree with jeopardizing what is happening here, though. Anyhow, I am sorry for making this about her. It is good to finally meet you.
Don't apologize, I asked just as many questions. It's good to meet you, too, even if I don't understand how you ended up there instead of on our side. All of this must still be kind of jarring for you. Have the others been helpful?
I'm not sure either. A too damaged soul. The arcane. I thought God may know, but it doesn't seem like they do. In any case, I am here regardless of which side I began.
They have been... something. But they are all charming in their own way.
I do wonder if the Old God was aware of your situation since you showed up on the side with the angels hired by them. [ which would mean they did not tell the new god anything and that feels annoying. ] But you're here now and we'll figure out the next steps.
That's a very diplomatic way of saying you're not sure you enjoyed all of your time with them, I think.
I couldn't tell you, but perhaps. I would say knowing such a thing would be a feat, but... me, being here, I don't believe anything is impossible.
[Maybe the Old God did know. A little rude to not say anything to the one coming in, though.]
On the contrary, I have found myself appreciative of the time I've spent with others. As chaotic and disorderly as they have the potential of being. It was rather quiet on that side for a good while, even with some personalities.
There are a lot of impossibilities that feel very possible suddenly when you look at them. Just as there are some impossibilities that will remain impossible all the same. It's about finding which is which and how to work with them.
[ she is getting the idea though that the old god really did not tell the new god as much as they could have. ]
My understanding is that place was meant to be quiet initially, but with so many of you being hurt it saw a lot more use than anticipated. Were you used to being alone before that?
[Sometimes, you are a sickly twink dying man, and then suddenly you are an abomination messiah. It's crazy.]
The failsafe was needed apparently. [He frowns mildly.] I spent a great deal of my life alone, but more recently... I was surrounded by many people whose thoughts were always in my mind. So I wasn't.
I suppose if you aren't all stepping on each other's toes. [ but oh. well. this actually isn't that weird. ]
A friend of mine connected with a magical forest back home. It meant he could communicate with the trees and act in their will, but he would feel what they felt and vice versa. It sounds a bit similar to that. Do you remain as one even after they're healed?
[That is because the hexcore made them behave....... partially.]
It is similar. Healing them makes them one with the rest. Healing brings them into the fold of the arcane collective, and that is the conditions I make them aware of at the beginning.
That's surprising then. [ she does not know of the hexcore.... the mindhive... ]
So as long as they know, they're still choosing for themselves. If they choose to leave the collective, does the healing become undone? [ a pause. ] Can they leave?
[He does not sound particularly upset about this - like it's a bad thing. That's his flock, is how he is seeing it. The ones he protects. Also, they cannot.]
Our connection in the collective sustains them. Without me, things will return to the way they had been.
But what if something were to happen to you permanently? [ i.e. literally what is happening because you're here? ] Does someone else take on the connection?
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and then she pauses, thinking about how often gansey would have to apologize for ronan, because ronan was too busy being an ass and being focused on what he actually wanted to do instead of the things he needed to do (like attend class.) viktor can probably see the shift in her expression as she seems to make the connection, at least. ]
... I don't agree with her goals. And so long as the rest of you don't either, I suppose that's well enough.
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I will have to find out what exactly her goals happen to be before I can say I don't agree.
[The goal part anyway. He kind of has bad execution, too. He does not think so, but it's true.]
I can say I do not agree with jeopardizing what is happening here, though. Anyhow, I am sorry for making this about her. It is good to finally meet you.
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Don't apologize, I asked just as many questions. It's good to meet you, too, even if I don't understand how you ended up there instead of on our side. All of this must still be kind of jarring for you. Have the others been helpful?
[ she doesn't just mean the other angels. ]
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I'm not sure either. A too damaged soul. The arcane. I thought God may know, but it doesn't seem like they do. In any case, I am here regardless of which side I began.
They have been... something. But they are all charming in their own way.
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That's a very diplomatic way of saying you're not sure you enjoyed all of your time with them, I think.
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[Maybe the Old God did know. A little rude to not say anything to the one coming in, though.]
On the contrary, I have found myself appreciative of the time I've spent with others. As chaotic and disorderly as they have the potential of being. It was rather quiet on that side for a good while, even with some personalities.
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[ she is getting the idea though that the old god really did not tell the new god as much as they could have. ]
My understanding is that place was meant to be quiet initially, but with so many of you being hurt it saw a lot more use than anticipated. Were you used to being alone before that?
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[Sometimes, you are a sickly twink dying man, and then suddenly you are an abomination messiah. It's crazy.]
The failsafe was needed apparently. [He frowns mildly.] I spent a great deal of my life alone, but more recently... I was surrounded by many people whose thoughts were always in my mind. So I wasn't.
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Their thoughts were in your mind?
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Yes. We were a part of a single collective. The commune shared everything. Thoughts, emotions, sometimes dreams, bodies.
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on the other, this sounds a lot different than that. ]
That sounds... very noisy, actually. [ that's not what she wants to say, she's still just kind of going "how are you all connected?" ]
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It has an adjustment period at first, but we are respectful of each other's... spiritual space.
[But to answer her thoughts:]
I was transmuted with magical technology, and so we are connected through it via me. In order to heal them, we must become one.
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A friend of mine connected with a magical forest back home. It meant he could communicate with the trees and act in their will, but he would feel what they felt and vice versa. It sounds a bit similar to that. Do you remain as one even after they're healed?
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[That is because the hexcore made them behave....... partially.]
It is similar. Healing them makes them one with the rest. Healing brings them into the fold of the arcane collective, and that is the conditions I make them aware of at the beginning.
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So as long as they know, they're still choosing for themselves. If they choose to leave the collective, does the healing become undone? [ a pause. ] Can they leave?
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No.
[He does not sound particularly upset about this - like it's a bad thing. That's his flock, is how he is seeing it. The ones he protects. Also, they cannot.]
Our connection in the collective sustains them. Without me, things will return to the way they had been.
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I don't know. But the doctor was probably right, if what I felt when I died happened: without me, the commune will perish.
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There has to be a way to stabilize it in that sort of event.
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[No, let them connect (Toi voice).]
There may be, but I had not found it at the time.
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... and nothing has provided clarity in your time here?