It might still be more than you think, Koharu. It at least shows you tried. And I think when somebody's drowning in their own misery, even if they don't appreciate it now, they'll be able to look back and appreciate it later.
But... I'm glad, too. You guys shouldn't have had to sit through those trials to begin with. It's kinda insane that all of this happened at all.
[ another slow nod, as she hugs the tabby a little closer to herself, a hand rubbing between its ears. ]
I don't understand why, but... I had figured it was something we were never going to get an answer to. [ well also, it wouldn't be a murdergame otherwise, but details ] But I still can't think that was normal.
Oh. I wish they'd sign their letters, but based on how it sounds I think that was from Charlie. But it's true. The God currently working on this project is new. The Old God retired months ago and left the New God to run this project with the Angels. It's why I stuck around even though I signed on with the old one.
And right now, we're starting to think that the Entity that slipped in has been around since that transition, and probably because it's directly trying to oppose God. So what better way than to trash the first big, new thing the New God was in charge of? Heaven has some protocols, but nothing for something like murders. We had to improvise for something that shouldn't have happened is this thing wasn't messing around for a reaction.
That sounds about right for what the letter said. Mary didn't tell me much, but she did say it heard about the project and had some... "opinions to share".
Yeah. That's about what we're getting, too, but I haven't spoken to her much myself. But we started thinking about where this thing came from and what kind of being would actually care about screwing up God's project.
It's also just kind of weird because nobody really cares when the New God took the Old God's place. So for something else to not only find out outside of heaven and also act on it is... not great.
With the way it sounded, it didn't seem like they cared about getting the same chance. [ a pause. ] But honestly, could be someone who thinks they're supposed to have beef with God.
[ The mere thought of it makes Koharu slip out an exhausted exhale, hand still idly stroking down the cat's back. ]
I just hope the project isn't considered a failure because of this. I... want others to get the same chance we did—but without the harshness that came with it.
It hurts to think there's others here that I'll never get to see again, and... I don't think I'll ever really be ready for that when the time comes. But I still never got to live the life I want for myself, and—there's people important to me back home, too. Maybe I'm not the only one who thinks like that.
I know some people are... already trying to figure out what comes next. And some of them are extremely happy at the idea of never seeing other people again. That God isn't powerful enough, somehow, to make sure they can travel freely and how cruel it is to set people up with relationships in a two-month time to take those away.
And then you have others who are hurt but also trying to decide how to proceed with their lives if they get to go back. What it might mean if they never did, even. Maybe there's no perfect answer.
No... not really. Even if I get the chance to become human again back home, it isn't going to give me everything I had back, so I—kind of expected that I'd be losing something here, too.
Oh, well, it's more like... So much time has already passed since I first died, but—things change and people move on, right? I'm sure there's a lot I've already missed in my absence.
That's true. When people die, that's... it, usually. Going back to the time before you died and re-living is a different concept. Probably why the Old God wasn't fully sure when we first spoke.
Can't make up for however long it's been since you died the first time, but you can at least get the last few months back. [ ... ] I think the same though. About how much time's passed since I died, and how people have probably moved on by now. It's sad, but it happens. Right? Can't expect people to linger forever.
[ even if a little time at all would have been nice, in some cases. ]
I wouldn't want anyone to—not because of me. It isn't easy thinking about everything you've lost, but... I try to think that it's a miracle I get a second chance at all. So, I want to be a better me than I was before—and I think others at least deserve to have that option too.
That's exactly why I stuck with this project, Koharu. Even if I blew my second chance, and I'm not getting another one, I want people to have theirs. To be better versions of themselves and at least try to have the option. A miracle's... a good way to put it. Something that changes you, and you just try to make it better going forward.
[ Once again her eyes lift up, a hint of surprise in them. Her expression softens just as quickly, though, a faint smile on her face. ]
Thank you for your kindness, Gabriel. It doesn't seem like you've had an easy time even in someplace like heaven, but... you've still always been here for us.
I didn't expect to be here when I died. [ so yes, it has not been easy. ] But if I'm here, I want to try and do something good with my afterlife. And that includes stuff like this. [ more pets for the cat. ]
Even if this project turns out to be a one and done... I like that we got to meet each other.
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It might still be more than you think, Koharu. It at least shows you tried. And I think when somebody's drowning in their own misery, even if they don't appreciate it now, they'll be able to look back and appreciate it later.
But... I'm glad, too. You guys shouldn't have had to sit through those trials to begin with. It's kinda insane that all of this happened at all.
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I don't understand why, but... I had figured it was something we were never going to get an answer to. [ well also, it wouldn't be a murdergame otherwise, but details ] But I still can't think that was normal.
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... has anyone told you about what happened to God?
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Um... I've heard a little—there was a note the other side sent, right?
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And right now, we're starting to think that the Entity that slipped in has been around since that transition, and probably because it's directly trying to oppose God. So what better way than to trash the first big, new thing the New God was in charge of? Heaven has some protocols, but nothing for something like murders. We had to improvise for something that shouldn't have happened is this thing wasn't messing around for a reaction.
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That sounds about right for what the letter said. Mary didn't tell me much, but she did say it heard about the project and had some... "opinions to share".
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It's also just kind of weird because nobody really cares when the New God took the Old God's place. So for something else to not only find out outside of heaven and also act on it is... not great.
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Unless, well... I don't know. Is someone resentful they don't get the same chance we do? Or have some kind of beef with the new God?
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I just hope the project isn't considered a failure because of this. I... want others to get the same chance we did—but without the harshness that came with it.
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... you think other people would want to take it? Even knowing they'd have to leave behind people they met here?
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It hurts to think there's others here that I'll never get to see again, and... I don't think I'll ever really be ready for that when the time comes. But I still never got to live the life I want for myself, and—there's people important to me back home, too. Maybe I'm not the only one who thinks like that.
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And then you have others who are hurt but also trying to decide how to proceed with their lives if they get to go back. What it might mean if they never did, even. Maybe there's no perfect answer.
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No... not really. Even if I get the chance to become human again back home, it isn't going to give me everything I had back, so I—kind of expected that I'd be losing something here, too.
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Tell me a little more about that. Do you know what you might miss if you get the chance to become human again? Or is this a general thing?
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Can't make up for however long it's been since you died the first time, but you can at least get the last few months back. [ ... ] I think the same though. About how much time's passed since I died, and how people have probably moved on by now. It's sad, but it happens. Right? Can't expect people to linger forever.
[ even if a little time at all would have been nice, in some cases. ]
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I wouldn't want anyone to—not because of me. It isn't easy thinking about everything you've lost, but... I try to think that it's a miracle I get a second chance at all. So, I want to be a better me than I was before—and I think others at least deserve to have that option too.
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That's exactly why I stuck with this project, Koharu. Even if I blew my second chance, and I'm not getting another one, I want people to have theirs. To be better versions of themselves and at least try to have the option. A miracle's... a good way to put it. Something that changes you, and you just try to make it better going forward.
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Thank you for your kindness, Gabriel. It doesn't seem like you've had an easy time even in someplace like heaven, but... you've still always been here for us.
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Even if this project turns out to be a one and done... I like that we got to meet each other.
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