Audience - Koharu

[holyspirits]

Comments

[cupidsammo]

I think so.

It hurts to think there's others here that I'll never get to see again, and... I don't think I'll ever really be ready for that when the time comes. But I still never got to live the life I want for myself, and—there's people important to me back home, too. Maybe I'm not the only one who thinks like that.

[holyspirits]

I know some people are... already trying to figure out what comes next. And some of them are extremely happy at the idea of never seeing other people again. That God isn't powerful enough, somehow, to make sure they can travel freely and how cruel it is to set people up with relationships in a two-month time to take those away.

And then you have others who are hurt but also trying to decide how to proceed with their lives if they get to go back. What it might mean if they never did, even. Maybe there's no perfect answer.

[cupidsammo]

[ She looks up, then back down, thoughtful. ]

No... not really. Even if I get the chance to become human again back home, it isn't going to give me everything I had back, so I—kind of expected that I'd be losing something here, too.

[holyspirits]

[ a tilt of their head, brown eyes shifting from the cat over to her. ]

Tell me a little more about that. Do you know what you might miss if you get the chance to become human again? Or is this a general thing?

[cupidsammo]

Oh, well, it's more like... So much time has already passed since I first died, but—things change and people move on, right? I'm sure there's a lot I've already missed in my absence.

[holyspirits]

That's true. When people die, that's... it, usually. Going back to the time before you died and re-living is a different concept. Probably why the Old God wasn't fully sure when we first spoke.

Can't make up for however long it's been since you died the first time, but you can at least get the last few months back. [ ... ] I think the same though. About how much time's passed since I died, and how people have probably moved on by now. It's sad, but it happens. Right? Can't expect people to linger forever.

[ even if a little time at all would have been nice, in some cases. ]

[cupidsammo]

[ A little time... yeah. ]

I wouldn't want anyone to—not because of me. It isn't easy thinking about everything you've lost, but... I try to think that it's a miracle I get a second chance at all. So, I want to be a better me than I was before—and I think others at least deserve to have that option too.

[holyspirits]

[ ...a little huff. ]

That's exactly why I stuck with this project, Koharu. Even if I blew my second chance, and I'm not getting another one, I want people to have theirs. To be better versions of themselves and at least try to have the option. A miracle's... a good way to put it. Something that changes you, and you just try to make it better going forward.

[cupidsammo]

[ Once again her eyes lift up, a hint of surprise in them. Her expression softens just as quickly, though, a faint smile on her face. ]

Thank you for your kindness, Gabriel. It doesn't seem like you've had an easy time even in someplace like heaven, but... you've still always been here for us.

[holyspirits]

I didn't expect to be here when I died. [ so yes, it has not been easy. ] But if I'm here, I want to try and do something good with my afterlife. And that includes stuff like this. [ more pets for the cat. ]

Even if this project turns out to be a one and done... I like that we got to meet each other.

[cupidsammo]

[ a nod ]

Me too. I'm glad I got to meet everyone, really—even if it was for a short time. I wish it could've been better, but... everyone has still been very kind.

[holyspirits]

Maybe that's the important part. Being nice to each other while everything's going to hell.

[cupidsammo]

Yes... But I wouldn't think there's someone here who would want anything else.

[ ok besides the asshole that's ruining everything but details ]

[holyspirits]

I don't know. Sometimes people really do show their true colors in times of crisis. Like being nice until it's inconvenient. So far though most people here don't seem that way.

[cupidsammo]

[ ... ]

I would hope not. I wouldn't even know what there's to gain from doing that here.

[holyspirits]

[ they decide not to remind her that people have definitely killed for their own gain, so. ]

Sometimes it's easier not to think about what other people are thinking.

[cupidsammo]

[ well guess what koharu doesn't know :) ]

... Maybe not. Not right now, anyway.

[holyspirits]

[ again, they decide not to remind her. or tell her, in this case. ]

... think all that matters right now is getting through tonight and tomorrow. It's a little easier to hope, knowing they'll all be back soon. Helps to focus on that.

[cupidsammo]

... Yes, they will be—it does make me feel a little better knowing that. They seem to be doing okay on the other side. At least, the letters I've gotten have assured me of that.

[holyspirits]

Have you been writing to a lot of them? [ it's just casual conversation, gently steering it in a nicer direction to make her think less about people potentially being awful. ]

[cupidsammo]

I was, but... it's been a few days since I wrote last. I wonder if I still should.

[holyspirits]

I'm not sure what the mail schedule is. But maybe if you wanted to write you could hold onto them and just hand-deliver them Monday?

[cupidsammo]

In that case... I could just tell them what's on my mind myself. That's a little easier than trying to find all the right words, anyway.

[holyspirits]

I go back and forth on that, I think. Sometimes I can't actually say the words and it's easier to write it and let them sit with it for a while as I die a slow, agonizing death by anxiety from trying to say anything.

[ this is not entirely true, it's teasing, but also real. they're bad with words half the time. ]

[cupidsammo]

... Hahah. No, I get it. Honestly, I struggle with talking to people a lot too.