Audience - Yves

[holyspirits]

Comments

[noirges]

[ ah...

yves allows this without issue, and he brings up his other hand to just sort of pet ramiel's head, stroking down the back like he would be smoothing back someone's hair ]

I'm sad for you, too. [ . . . ] You can't go back? After you're done with your job here.

[holyspirits]

[ i will allow for him to perceive that he is smoothing back long hair. how exciting for you. ]

Oh. I can. And I will.

But they're the one who's gone. I think. [ listen it gets a little confusing towards the end, but uh. wasn't looking good. ]

[noirges]

[ RAMIEL YOUR BEAUTIFUL LONG HAIR yves will just continue to do this for a bit ]

... and they're not here? In the afterlife? Or anywhere you can be with them?

[holyspirits]

I'm not sure where they are, exactly.

[ but they are a little tired of saying 'it's complicated' so they just leave it at that. ]

[noirges]

[ hmmm

yves will just move to bring them into a hug then ]

... I'm sorry. It sounds... lonely.

[holyspirits]

I don't think about it.

[ once again they don't seem to know what to do with the hug for a second. but then will hug back sort of robotically or - like they're copying what they know they should do in this situation. ]

[noirges]

[ that's fine, yves doesn't draw attention to it because he doesn't mind. as long as ramiel doesn't mind hugging him too ]

I'm sorry if I made you think about something sad but... thank you for trusting me.

[holyspirits]

[ they draw back and then just kind of. shrug. ]

Anyway. We're here to make sure all of you wind up in the best place for you. So. None of that really matters right now.

[noirges]

... I know that you believe that, but I'm going to gently disagree. Like friends do.

[ reaches for their hand again to hold it ]

Because I care about how you feel, and what goes on in your life... and afterlife.

[holyspirits]

[ more handholds. also: more confusion. ]

Thank you. But you really don't need to worry about me.

[noirges]

[ curiously ] Isn't it normal for friends to worry about each other?

[holyspirits]

It is normal, but that doesn't mean that it's necessary in this particular situation.

[noirges]

Will you be mad at me if I do something unnecessary?

[holyspirits]

I won't be mad.

But I will think that you are focusing on the wrong thing.

[noirges]

Then please endure it.

Because to me, you'll always be worth worrying about.

[holyspirits]

You don't know that. [ a bit teasing. ]

[noirges]

Of course I do. [ very confidently in return! ] Because I love you, and that'll never change.

[holyspirits]

I think that you love everyone.

[noirges]

I do try to...

[ he can't deny that ]

But it doesn't mean I love you any less. So I'll keep worrying, even if it's inefficient.

[holyspirits]

I don't think that love is a finite resource.

[ so they don't doubt that he means that. they just sound thoughtful: ]

But if it's the baseline—the default state—I wonder if it's very meaningful?

[ NO TACT.......... ]

[noirges]

[ SO TRUE RAMIEL...........

but he laughs at that, because he doesn't think to feel offended ]

I think that's up to you. If this doesn't feel meaningful, then I can't make it so.

But I like our talks. I like sitting around with you, or walking along the beach, or anywhere, really. It's meaningful to me, even if I know that might be hard to trust.

[holyspirits]

It isn't distrust. If love is in your code, that doesn't mean that it isn't there. I understand that.

[ they mull this over, trying to figure out what exactly they think, here. ]

If we didn't do those things, you would still love me. If we talked about different things, you would still love me. Then perhaps it no longer matters that it's me you're doing any of this with.

[noirges]

[ makes a little humming noise of understanding ]

I see... That would make it hard to understand, wouldn't it? Then...

[ he looks thoughtful ]

To me... love is to make sure that no one feels alone. So they don't feel like I did, when no one looked at me. I do want to do my best to love everyone, so they don't feel hated or scorned for no reason.

[ so he does love broadly and immediately. it is his default. at the same time... he lets his thumb brush over the back of their head ]

... but I also trust differently. I don't tell everyone everything about me. I love some people more than others, over time spent together and memories that are irreplaceable.

I love you differently than I love Zuriel and Gamaliel... but I do love all of you. I don't think any of you are interchangeable.

[holyspirits]

That sounds closer to kindness and compassion than love. There are differences between them.

[ very informational, like maybe he just didn't know that? ]

Trust is also different from love. The two don't have to be connected. Sometimes we even lie to the people we love the most.

[noirges]

[ he smiles at that, looking a little amused ]

That's true. I think it can be a little hard to prove love.

[ but he will. he does it in the way that he has this unconditional love for everyone he meets, even when they attack him. but he hasn't been fucking destroyed here so i don't get to write how insane yves is. wait for me. ]

I think it's all interconnected, and that's what makes every relationship different even if love and care can be present in all of them.