but he laughs at that, because he doesn't think to feel offended ]
I think that's up to you. If this doesn't feel meaningful, then I can't make it so.
But I like our talks. I like sitting around with you, or walking along the beach, or anywhere, really. It's meaningful to me, even if I know that might be hard to trust.
It isn't distrust. If love is in your code, that doesn't mean that it isn't there. I understand that.
[ they mull this over, trying to figure out what exactly they think, here. ]
If we didn't do those things, you would still love me. If we talked about different things, you would still love me. Then perhaps it no longer matters that it's me you're doing any of this with.
I see... That would make it hard to understand, wouldn't it? Then...
[ he looks thoughtful ]
To me... love is to make sure that no one feels alone. So they don't feel like I did, when no one looked at me. I do want to do my best to love everyone, so they don't feel hated or scorned for no reason.
[ so he does love broadly and immediately. it is his default. at the same time... he lets his thumb brush over the back of their head ]
... but I also trust differently. I don't tell everyone everything about me. I love some people more than others, over time spent together and memories that are irreplaceable.
I love you differently than I love Zuriel and Gamaliel... but I do love all of you. I don't think any of you are interchangeable.
That's true. I think it can be a little hard to prove love.
[ but he will. he does it in the way that he has this unconditional love for everyone he meets, even when they attack him. but he hasn't been fucking destroyed here so i don't get to write how insane yves is. wait for me. ]
I think it's all interconnected, and that's what makes every relationship different even if love and care can be present in all of them.
[ about the not having been destroyed here thing. about that. ]
I don't think that it's hard. But I suppose my perception of proving it would be to prioritize the person you love above others, when possible. [ okay the 'when possible' is kind of negating that entire point immediately but don't think about that too hard. ]
But if you love everyone, that puts them all on equal footing. From there, the different ways you love and the amount you love tips the scales again. Which leads back to it just being your starting point. Whoever is at the bottom of this ranking may not be someone you dislike. But they are a person you prioritize less than others. And that would not be love.
[ is everyone ready to watch yves insanely forgive and love his best friend's killer even though he was fucking devastated on friday. are they ready for his lil insane brain mental gymnastics
for now: a thoughtful little hum ]
I guess... that's where our perceptions differ. I think it can still be love, even if it's not the same level of closeness.
But I also known I'm abnormal. I think that your sense is probably the correct one. Most people wouldn't be ready to die for strangers.
I think that some people would. But maybe not one stranger. Some people might be willing to die to save a great number of people as a whole. For the greater good. To protect the most people possible.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ he can't deny that ]
But it doesn't mean I love you any less. So I'll keep worrying, even if it's inefficient.
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[ so they don't doubt that he means that. they just sound thoughtful: ]
But if it's the baseline—the default state—I wonder if it's very meaningful?
[ NO TACT.......... ]
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but he laughs at that, because he doesn't think to feel offended ]
I think that's up to you. If this doesn't feel meaningful, then I can't make it so.
But I like our talks. I like sitting around with you, or walking along the beach, or anywhere, really. It's meaningful to me, even if I know that might be hard to trust.
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[ they mull this over, trying to figure out what exactly they think, here. ]
If we didn't do those things, you would still love me. If we talked about different things, you would still love me. Then perhaps it no longer matters that it's me you're doing any of this with.
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I see... That would make it hard to understand, wouldn't it? Then...
[ he looks thoughtful ]
To me... love is to make sure that no one feels alone. So they don't feel like I did, when no one looked at me. I do want to do my best to love everyone, so they don't feel hated or scorned for no reason.
[ so he does love broadly and immediately. it is his default. at the same time... he lets his thumb brush over the back of their head ]
... but I also trust differently. I don't tell everyone everything about me. I love some people more than others, over time spent together and memories that are irreplaceable.
I love you differently than I love Zuriel and Gamaliel... but I do love all of you. I don't think any of you are interchangeable.
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[ very informational, like maybe he just didn't know that? ]
Trust is also different from love. The two don't have to be connected. Sometimes we even lie to the people we love the most.
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That's true. I think it can be a little hard to prove love.
[ but he will. he does it in the way that he has this unconditional love for everyone he meets, even when they attack him. but he hasn't been fucking destroyed here so i don't get to write how insane yves is. wait for me. ]
I think it's all interconnected, and that's what makes every relationship different even if love and care can be present in all of them.
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I don't think that it's hard. But I suppose my perception of proving it would be to prioritize the person you love above others, when possible. [ okay the 'when possible' is kind of negating that entire point immediately but don't think about that too hard. ]
But if you love everyone, that puts them all on equal footing. From there, the different ways you love and the amount you love tips the scales again. Which leads back to it just being your starting point. Whoever is at the bottom of this ranking may not be someone you dislike. But they are a person you prioritize less than others. And that would not be love.
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for now: a thoughtful little hum ]
I guess... that's where our perceptions differ. I think it can still be love, even if it's not the same level of closeness.
But I also known I'm abnormal. I think that your sense is probably the correct one. Most people wouldn't be ready to die for strangers.
[ but yves is
and almost has. frequently ]
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I think that some people would. But maybe not one stranger. Some people might be willing to die to save a great number of people as a whole. For the greater good. To protect the most people possible.
So my question is: would you die for one person?
For anyone?
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[ but
yes ]
Sometimes my body just reacts before I think about it.