[ i really had this open somewhere and lost it. anyway, that is fair. ]
You do realize we're going to have to leave through the door eventually. [ but that is a later problem. for now, we browse. we will come upon a door sooner or later, perhaps trying to go into the next room. ]
I haven't really experienced the door problem until lately. But it does feel like it's getting a little worse, doesn't it?
Then consider yourself lucky I have plenty of things to be curious about in this room. [ including jacopo himself, but that's neither here nor there. ]
Higher than last week. And it does worry me then that it'll mean they'll be higher again in the coming weeks. But I doubt the solution is total isolation either.
Of course not. We've always speculated it's a side-effect of you not quite being integrated into heaven, but not being alive either. Your soul is here but you're not quite over the edge, so your body and mind are reacting differently. That's our best guess though.
[ well, unlike gabriel, zuriel's response to seeing something like this is to full-on stop and just watch it for a while. and her expression shifts as the memory goes, from confusion to uncertainty to outright sadness at the end before she lets her gaze drift back to jacopo instead. ]
... I think I understand a little better now. Why you wouldn't want to go through with the judgment, or even consider really going back.
[ He doesn't even need to watch or look at them to know what's playing. The sound of Morgana's weak voice is enough... It still affects him. He's having many thoughts, all contending. ]
I'm sure my spot could have gone to someone else.
[ More deserving, even if this is more about how he can't forgive himself, let alone redeem for himself. ]
I've been progressively shrinking the slums, which has negatively affected my popularity with the peasantry... Not that they've been happy with me to begin with. They don't understand that for the quality of life to rise for them, it must rise for the whole city. The slums needed to disappear.
[ Even though that was once his home, you look forward. You want better. A city without peasants? Sometimes you're ambitious. ]
The church was a small distraction... From their dissatisfaction as I was working through my plans.
[ And, well, he made a choice that he didn't want to make. Frankly, he doesn't know why he did something so stupid, but also he does. He acted as lord rather than himself. ]
[ when he lays it out that way, yes, it makes sense. at the same time, she can sort of see why the people in the slums might be angry. so she's quiet, trying to figure out what to say here. ]
Did you tell the people of the slums that? Or did you have to act without drawing more attention to yourself than necessary?
... If someone who was planting more guards around your home and shrinking your neighborhoods told you to trust them that things will get better, they will just have to be worse first, would you? [ He understands it on a personal level because he was there before. ] My own friends who knew me before all of this lost faith.
I... Didn't need to scheme, but it came naturally.
[ honestly, this church plan is insane but a good political move ]
That would wholly depend on who that someone was. [ so yeah, she's flipping this back to him because... she does not like hearing about the breakdown of friendships. ]
They should have trusted you. [ she's biased. ] If you knew them so long, and they trusted you before, why would they suddenly trust you less just because some circumstances changed?
[ she observes him though. ]
... I think you have the potential for being a good leader. But you walked into a very messy situation as it was.
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You do realize we're going to have to leave through the door eventually. [ but that is a later problem. for now, we browse. we will come upon a door sooner or later, perhaps trying to go into the next room. ]
I haven't really experienced the door problem until lately. But it does feel like it's getting a little worse, doesn't it?
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Eventually doesn't mean anytime soon. [ SO!!! He just shadows her. ] The chances are not... High, but still often enough that it's becoming a problem.
[ Yes. ]
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Higher than last week. And it does worry me then that it'll mean they'll be higher again in the coming weeks. But I doubt the solution is total isolation either.
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... Are these weekly phenomena not chosen by you three?
[ he just assumed you guys and god were fucking around ]
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Of course not. We've always speculated it's a side-effect of you not quite being integrated into heaven, but not being alive either. Your soul is here but you're not quite over the edge, so your body and mind are reacting differently. That's our best guess though.
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Fantastic.
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Jacopo, have you been living with that idea for the last month?
[ WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST ASK. ]
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[ this is true isn't it ]
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Do you just prefer not to mention things because you're used to suffering in some capacity?
[ and then complain about sillier, smaller things??? ]
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[ HE IS A FICKLE PERSON even though he's also incredibly consistent. ]
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How often do I catch you in a good mood versus a bad mood anyhow?
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I don't know if it's better to say "it's only a week" or "maybe next week will be better." Depending on how optimistic you may be feeling.
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well they are interrupted by this.... ]
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... I think I understand a little better now. Why you wouldn't want to go through with the judgment, or even consider really going back.
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[ He doesn't even need to watch or look at them to know what's playing. The sound of Morgana's weak voice is enough... It still affects him. He's having many thoughts, all contending. ]
I'm sure my spot could have gone to someone else.
[ More deserving, even if this is more about how he can't forgive himself, let alone redeem for himself. ]
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... how long ago was that? [ a pause. ] Is there any way to help her at all?
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[ IT'S SOOOO RECENT. ]
... I could have released her earlier, I suppose.
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[ and things don't quite add up. ]
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I thought it was worth the sacrifice.
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... walk me through that thought process. [ a pause. ] Please?
[ see? polite. ]
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[ Even though that was once his home, you look forward. You want better. A city without peasants? Sometimes you're ambitious. ]
The church was a small distraction... From their dissatisfaction as I was working through my plans.
[ And, well, he made a choice that he didn't want to make. Frankly, he doesn't know why he did something so stupid, but also he does. He acted as lord rather than himself. ]
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Did you tell the people of the slums that? Or did you have to act without drawing more attention to yourself than necessary?
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I... Didn't need to scheme, but it came naturally.
[ honestly, this church plan is insane but a good political move ]
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They should have trusted you. [ she's biased. ] If you knew them so long, and they trusted you before, why would they suddenly trust you less just because some circumstances changed?
[ she observes him though. ]
... I think you have the potential for being a good leader. But you walked into a very messy situation as it was.
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