[ my random extra linebreaks. and now she feels bad for almost laughing at shanders.
ramiel is kind of filtering this through her own weird lens. she doesn't quite understand magic; she only knows digital equivalences. but she does understand corruption. the risk of someone losing a core piece of their identity. the reality that someone could still technically be alive but no longer be themselves. ]
... That must have been difficult. Even if it was the right thing to do.
Not enough to justify anything. But it doesn't hold no meaning at all. Nor do the decisions that follow after you've done harm. You, like anyone, are capable of both good and bad in any given moment. And you can't change any of your past decisions.
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ramiel is kind of filtering this through her own weird lens. she doesn't quite understand magic; she only knows digital equivalences. but she does understand corruption. the risk of someone losing a core piece of their identity. the reality that someone could still technically be alive but no longer be themselves. ]
... That must have been difficult. Even if it was the right thing to do.
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It ... was what he asked for. He didn't want to live like that. I could not let him. So it was a simple decision in the end.
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[ even if there was no better option and no time to hesitate. even if it was the best and only option. that doesn't make it simple. ]
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[ it was all set up as a trap. ]
Maybe if I had simply left him be, he would have been left alone.
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[ she doesn't know all of the specifics here, but she does have some pretty strong feelings about cutting communication. ]
You couldn't have known, and you did the best that you could.
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[ at least, that is what a revolutionary should do. ]
Everyone wants to believe the best of me. But I don't think that is possible for me.
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[ that's comforting, right. sure. ]
But to me, saving the most lives is the correct choice. Even just trying to. ... I know that doesn't lessen the pain of loss, though.
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[ sighing out. ]
But it's unsettling to come here and find no one is even willing to see the parts of me that I am afraid of.
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Others see that... and also the rest of you.
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[ inevitably, he will disappoint them. it is what a monster always does. ]
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Not enough to justify anything. But it doesn't hold no meaning at all. Nor do the decisions that follow after you've done harm. You, like anyone, are capable of both good and bad in any given moment. And you can't change any of your past decisions.
Just your new decisions.