[ what's the point of life, indeed? what a great question. ]
... This life of mine is pointless already. [ his death, in the grand scheme of things, was just pointless, too. ] But... perhaps I can finish my book, at least. If nothing else, I will be watched closely - I will not be able to make it as comprehensive as I would have ever liked, but... maybe there are some truths I can reveal. And maybe that is the only difference I could ever really make.
[ ... ]
I have learned that the more that I run from my fate, the faster it catches up to me.
Forget fate. Your choices are your own. [ there's something a little spiteful in how she says that. ] I know how it feels to think your life is pointless, but it's not. You can't just write yourself off like that.
[ but what if you've never had any choices? he doesn't say that, but it's the truth. he's never been allowed to make them. heaven is the most freedom he's ever known. coward. you can't even fight for yourself.]
... thank you, Gamaliel. [ quietly. ] And...I'm sorry, that that's a feeling that has crossed your heart - it is an awful way to be.
[ to feel pointless. ]
I... have not yet lost all hope. [ but boy is he getting close to it! haha yay bad end. ] So, I will do the best that I can to make the right choice. Whatever that choice may be.
It's fine. [ very quick and dismissive ] I was a teenager, which is honestly the stupidest age to be.
[ she looks 15. ]
I'm going to be blunt, Taair. I don't think locking yourself away is the right choice. I know there's more to it than that, but it sounds like that kind of sacrifice would just delay the inevitable anyway.
Reasons. [ repeating it ] It's hard to explain. I guess the short of it is that this is the age the idiot I'm in love with knew me best as. And he never got to grow up past that age.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
... This life of mine is pointless already. [ his death, in the grand scheme of things, was just pointless, too. ] But... perhaps I can finish my book, at least. If nothing else, I will be watched closely - I will not be able to make it as comprehensive as I would have ever liked, but... maybe there are some truths I can reveal. And maybe that is the only difference I could ever really make.
[ ... ]
I have learned that the more that I run from my fate, the faster it catches up to me.
no subject
no subject
... thank you, Gamaliel. [ quietly. ] And...I'm sorry, that that's a feeling that has crossed your heart - it is an awful way to be.
[ to feel pointless. ]
I... have not yet lost all hope. [ but boy is he getting close to it! haha yay bad end. ] So, I will do the best that I can to make the right choice. Whatever that choice may be.
no subject
[ she looks 15. ]
I'm going to be blunt, Taair. I don't think locking yourself away is the right choice. I know there's more to it than that, but it sounds like that kind of sacrifice would just delay the inevitable anyway.
no subject
...When you were actually a teenager?
no subject
no subject
....reasons?
no subject
no subject
...I'm sorry for your loss.
no subject