I would like to think this is a bigger picture, such as being calmer and better when you leave this place. [ she taps his hand with the card, letting him hold onto it. she's not as well-versed at reading the cards as her mom is, but she's sat in enough readings and knows them well enough for a simple reading. ]
Death was next. Most people are scared of that card, but that's only because they interpret it to mean something terrible will happen. That's not always true. It can mean new beginnings, and endings. Letting go of things.
[ she looks at the death card thoughtfully. ]
The last time I saw this card... [ but she shakes her head. ] For you, I think perhaps it's the ending of an era of loneliness. A change by shedding your old skin and embracing something new.
[ being calmer and better, huh. he looks at the card for a long moment, running his thumb gingerly over the surface, and listens quietly to the explanation for the death card, too. death isn't scary, to taair - it hasn't been for some time, really - but the other explanation does speak to him.
this time, he doesn't make a little joke about it, and sets the star down beside it so he look at them together. the end of an era of loneliness. ]
... I certainly feel far less lonely, nowadays. [ taair says, finally - soft, a smile on his face. it's not quite all the way there, no matter how genuine the statement is. ] The moments that I spend with you all have colored my life beyond compare. It makes even the worst days here, our weekends, feel so much lighter.
[ so it's a new beginning. maybe this experience was part of his fate all along, but the end goal still remains. he looks at zuriel for a long moment afterwards - gentle curiosity in the death card and her aside, but he keeps it to himself for now, until she finishes. ]
I think it means a lot more than any of us might even realize at first. One of those things that sneaks up on you without realizing the path was telegraphed clearly the whole time. [ but she offers a smile back, equally soft. ] I am glad though. That you feel less lonely. No one should during times like these.
[ she looks down at the cards again, holding the last for now. ]
Do you feel as if other changes have come for you so far?
Other changes... hmm. Aside from this strange week, and... the experience last week?
[ there's a little wryness to that, but he does give the question thought. ]
I'm not entirely sure. The most obvious is... well. The chance to revive, I suppose - a change from a prior state of death. [ though... he doesn't speak of this with any particular inflection and there's an echo of melancholy, there. ] And the sights of our weekends have certainly brought me new perspectives. Grim perspectives, but perspectives, indeed.
I'm not sure if change is easy for me to see yet - it must be the historian in me who needs more evidence.
[ nothing he says seems to surprise her. this feels familiar in a few ways, and it makes her think about people she's left behind. but at the same time, taair is taair, and it means she's patient as he explains. ]
There's nothing wrong with needing more evidence either. Though I think sometimes all a person needs is a little push toward something they believe in to begin with.
Do you even know what kind of evidence you'd like to see?
... Hmm. [ another thoughtful pause. ] I'm not sure what it would be. I think... truthfully, my dear Zuriel - I have put the most value on my dear friendships, here. There's...
[ ... ]
There is an emptiness, that I feel has been filled. Patched, at least. In ways that I cannot describe. And that, that sensation alone, that means the world to me.
[ she's just moving to grab for his hand, because sometimes you are just touchy with people you care about. ]
I'd like to see better than "patched", someday, for you... but I'm glad. I know things have been difficult the last few weeks, especially the weekends, but we're only going to get through this because of those friendships. Maybe that's just me, but I know I wouldn't have gotten what I wanted without my friends. Even if it took me time to find them.
[ uuuu of course his face softens immediately, and taair cups his other hand over top of hers to squeeze it between his. touchy is always welcome - over the weeks, that's a change. he's starting to get used to the affections of others, the way they so easily come when he's not expecting them. how badly he needed them, before. ]
I feel the exact same way. It is part of what makes my bond with you so very precious, you know - you are my dear friend, and talking with you always brightens my day. [ his blorbo. ] Whether we speak of everything or nothing - or even if we just lay around in the garden.
[ there's a light laugh because she understands and agrees with that sentiment. ]
I think those are the most important bonds you can have. The kind where you don't have to be doing anything magnificent but it still feels like it every day. Those are the kind I want for you.
[ because of course she does? who is zuriel if not someone who immediately goes "i don't want base-level friends, it's all or nothing." ]
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no subject
[ the (mumbles bc i don't know) star. hope. stability.... ]
I suppose you can't get much more turmoil than being dead. Maybe it means the rest of this week will be calmer...? [ it
won't be but this is clearly a wry little joke as he admires the art with zuriel. ]
Death was next, right? And then the Chariot.
no subject
Death was next. Most people are scared of that card, but that's only because they interpret it to mean something terrible will happen. That's not always true. It can mean new beginnings, and endings. Letting go of things.
[ she looks at the death card thoughtfully. ]
The last time I saw this card... [ but she shakes her head. ] For you, I think perhaps it's the ending of an era of loneliness. A change by shedding your old skin and embracing something new.
no subject
this time, he doesn't make a little joke about it, and sets the star down beside it so he look at them together. the end of an era of loneliness. ]
... I certainly feel far less lonely, nowadays. [ taair says, finally - soft, a smile on his face. it's not quite all the way there, no matter how genuine the statement is. ] The moments that I spend with you all have colored my life beyond compare. It makes even the worst days here, our weekends, feel so much lighter.
[ so it's a new beginning. maybe this experience was part of his fate all along, but the end goal still remains. he looks at zuriel for a long moment afterwards - gentle curiosity in the death card and her aside, but he keeps it to himself for now, until she finishes. ]
no subject
[ she looks down at the cards again, holding the last for now. ]
Do you feel as if other changes have come for you so far?
no subject
[ there's a little wryness to that, but he does give the question thought. ]
I'm not entirely sure. The most obvious is... well. The chance to revive, I suppose - a change from a prior state of death. [ though... he doesn't speak of this with any particular inflection and there's an echo of melancholy, there. ] And the sights of our weekends have certainly brought me new perspectives. Grim perspectives, but perspectives, indeed.
I'm not sure if change is easy for me to see yet - it must be the historian in me who needs more evidence.
no subject
There's nothing wrong with needing more evidence either. Though I think sometimes all a person needs is a little push toward something they believe in to begin with.
Do you even know what kind of evidence you'd like to see?
no subject
... Hmm. [ another thoughtful pause. ] I'm not sure what it would be. I think... truthfully, my dear Zuriel - I have put the most value on my dear friendships, here. There's...
[ ... ]
There is an emptiness, that I feel has been filled. Patched, at least. In ways that I cannot describe. And that, that sensation alone, that means the world to me.
no subject
I'd like to see better than "patched", someday, for you... but I'm glad. I know things have been difficult the last few weeks, especially the weekends, but we're only going to get through this because of those friendships. Maybe that's just me, but I know I wouldn't have gotten what I wanted without my friends. Even if it took me time to find them.
no subject
I feel the exact same way. It is part of what makes my bond with you so very precious, you know - you are my dear friend, and talking with you always brightens my day. [ his blorbo. ] Whether we speak of everything or nothing - or even if we just lay around in the garden.
no subject
I think those are the most important bonds you can have. The kind where you don't have to be doing anything magnificent but it still feels like it every day. Those are the kind I want for you.
[ because of course she does? who is zuriel if not someone who immediately goes "i don't want base-level friends, it's all or nothing." ]