No of course they do. Sorry, I'm not good with words either I think. Pretty sure I ended up making somebody upset yesterday and it was a mess. I think the thing's pretty pathetic myself but it's still kicking my ass. My project's ass. Maybe as a god I shouldn't be saying ass. It's also one of those things where I don't feel like my circumstances should be the thing that makes people forgive me for what's happening. But there are things people want and people expect, and I know I should have the power to fix them. I won't know if I can until this is dealt with. And I don't want people getting distracted by my new status. Is that making sense? Sorry, I shouldn't be dumping this on you either, that's not why you're here.
Certainly that's part of the allure. Great deeds and all that. But the gods of my home have limitations, too. They often work miracles through the power they imbue their followers with but cannot do everything they wish, as they would run afoul of another god. An agreement to stay in their realms and act through champions and faithful in order to avoid the type of cataclysm that could occur if they fought one another directly.
I don't know if I really have champions. The angels have been a big help. But I can understand the limitations to avoid a huge clash. Power vs power sounds like it'd cause a ton of damage, too, instead of actually helping.
I suspect the angels are something like champions to you. But... I spent my life preparing and training to become a champion of Lady Shar. Going back on that is not supposed to happen, but people change, so pledging yourself to only one cause for the rest of your life is perhaps not the ideal shape devotion ought to take.
At any rate, the point is that true intervention by the gods - miracles - often come with their own complications. It would be lovely if the gods took care of all problems for us, but that seems not to be how it works, even if it is sometimes hard to know which limitations are there because it is not wise or possible and which are there because they don't want to.
Probably. I did hand select them. I do think it is a little insane to devote yourself to one thing and one thing only. One idea is fine, but that idea can mean many things. People should be allowed to be flexible without facing wrath. Especially when more often than not you're working with only the information you had at the time. It's why I would never ask someone to blindly believe in God. There are things I would love to accomplish for you all. But there are things I know I cannot. I believe that the combination of all of your worlds and skills might work to create those miracles, especially if you may be able to communicate after this is all over. But I understand text is not the same. I understand there is a difference between long-distance and sticking your head down the hall to talk to someone. I want more for you guys than I think I can ever say. I also just know I can't and it's something to grapple with. (I know we're being honest but I still don't want this to feel as if I'm complaining to you. I'm still finding that line as well.)
I would say right now my priority is to survive this, and then to survive the next obstacles my home has in store for me, and then consider the future. But I can't pretend I don't worry about the future anyway. How can I find my parents, and also ensure Anders has a home to go to, and also ensure Richie isn't devoured by a nightmare, and ensure Elysia doesn't lose her life, and ensure Claude doesn't drown in despair? I cannot do all of it.
I wasn't going to ask you about that future, not while things are existential. But I suspect it is one of those things, with gods, where there will always be questions. If it could be done by us, it is odd to think it couldn't be done by you.
Good priorities. Strong priorities. ...Shadowheart, I don't think my powers are that strong yet. That's. Kind of the problem. I'm working on it, but there may only be so much I can do. Not to mention meddling too much might cause cosmic chaos versus adjustments made by you that would be more self-contained in your own worlds rather than the outside manipulations of Heaven.
If it can't be done, then it can't be done. I do believe, when we think of miracles, what we mean is the hope for things that cannot be done. I don't think this is a priority for right now, but I can't deny that it's a hope These past weeks, the knowledge that the lost souls are safe somewhere and we might see them again made it that much easier to ensure everything else. So hope for a future where we do not all have to say goodbye is something I'm still going to hold onto. That doesn't mean I expect you to untangle it in your hopefully lacking amount of spare time.
Let me ask you this. How long do you think people would be willing to wait for that kind of future? I don't disagree. Hope is the thing we need. But even if you don't expect me to untangle it right now, I'm sure other people do. Which goes right back to why I haven't revealed myself to this point, because I don't want to be the thing that kills their hope. But you have made me kind of reconsider that part. A little.
I can only speak for myself. I can wait a long time, but I can't plan my life based on things that may never come to pass. Have you, then? I don't think it would be a bad thing.
I understand. More of a "would like to know it's a someday than a never" situation. I get it. Also yes, perhaps. Before Judgment Day maybe I'll let everyone know. Mostly because I am certain a lot of them will have questions I wouldn't have time to answer day of.
I knew it was unrealistic to ask anyone to keep this quiet for much longer. So I understand. I will know anyway, so I will plan a time for explanations and questions. I believe it is fair to know who or what may be judging them now.
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Sorry, I'm not good with words either I think. Pretty sure I ended up making somebody upset yesterday and it was a mess.
I think the thing's pretty pathetic myself but it's still kicking my ass. My project's ass.
Maybe as a god I shouldn't be saying ass.
It's also one of those things where I don't feel like my circumstances should be the thing that makes people forgive me for what's happening.
But there are things people want and people expect, and I know I should have the power to fix them.
I won't know if I can until this is dealt with.
And I don't want people getting distracted by my new status.
Is that making sense?
Sorry, I shouldn't be dumping this on you either, that's not why you're here.
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I'm only here to talk, not to demand a status update.
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It sort of feels like I should have one is all.
Big powerful God and all.
[ a pause in messages. ]
I don't want to disappoint anyone. Not just about this entity, but overall.
Aren't gods supposed to grant miracles?
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But the gods of my home have limitations, too.
They often work miracles through the power they imbue their followers with but cannot do everything they wish, as they would run afoul of another god.
An agreement to stay in their realms and act through champions and faithful in order to avoid the type of cataclysm that could occur if they fought one another directly.
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The angels have been a big help.
But I can understand the limitations to avoid a huge clash.
Power vs power sounds like it'd cause a ton of damage, too, instead of actually helping.
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But... I spent my life preparing and training to become a champion of Lady Shar.
Going back on that is not supposed to happen, but people change, so pledging yourself to only one cause for the rest of your life is perhaps not the ideal shape devotion ought to take.
At any rate, the point is that true intervention by the gods - miracles - often come with their own complications. It would be lovely if the gods took care of all problems for us, but that seems not to be how it works, even if it is sometimes hard to know which limitations are there because it is not wise or possible and which are there because they don't want to.
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I do think it is a little insane to devote yourself to one thing and one thing only. One idea is fine, but that idea can mean many things. People should be allowed to be flexible without facing wrath.
Especially when more often than not you're working with only the information you had at the time.
It's why I would never ask someone to blindly believe in God.
There are things I would love to accomplish for you all. But there are things I know I cannot. I believe that the combination of all of your worlds and skills might work to create those miracles, especially if you may be able to communicate after this is all over.
But I understand text is not the same. I understand there is a difference between long-distance and sticking your head down the hall to talk to someone.
I want more for you guys than I think I can ever say.
I also just know I can't and it's something to grapple with.
(I know we're being honest but I still don't want this to feel as if I'm complaining to you. I'm still finding that line as well.)
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I wasn't going to ask you about that future, not while things are existential. But I suspect it is one of those things, with gods, where there will always be questions. If it could be done by us, it is odd to think it couldn't be done by you.
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Strong priorities.
...Shadowheart, I don't think my powers are that strong yet.
That's. Kind of the problem. I'm working on it, but there may only be so much I can do.
Not to mention meddling too much might cause cosmic chaos versus adjustments made by you that would be more self-contained in your own worlds rather than the outside manipulations of Heaven.
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I do believe, when we think of miracles, what we mean is the hope for things that cannot be done.
I don't think this is a priority for right now, but I can't deny that it's a hope
These past weeks, the knowledge that the lost souls are safe somewhere and we might see them again made it that much easier to ensure everything else.
So hope for a future where we do not all have to say goodbye is something I'm still going to hold onto.
That doesn't mean I expect you to untangle it in your hopefully lacking amount of spare time.
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How long do you think people would be willing to wait for that kind of future?
I don't disagree. Hope is the thing we need.
But even if you don't expect me to untangle it right now, I'm sure other people do.
Which goes right back to why I haven't revealed myself to this point, because I don't want to be the thing that kills their hope.
But you have made me kind of reconsider that part. A little.
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Have you, then? I don't think it would be a bad thing.
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I get it.
Also yes, perhaps. Before Judgment Day maybe I'll let everyone know.
Mostly because I am certain a lot of them will have questions I wouldn't have time to answer day of.
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So I understand.
I will know anyway, so I will plan a time for explanations and questions. I believe it is fair to know who or what may be judging them now.