It's not something I knew, either, until I saw her. And it isn't as though I haven't taken lives before.
[she definitely did omit that detail on purpose though.]
Not my whole life, but as long as I can remember. I was an orphan, I was taken in by them when I was young. After everything they've given me, of course I want to follow her, but I also believe in her cause.
When you grow up a certain way, it can be hard to visualize anything else. Even if other people don't get it or think of you as an outlier. But I also think it isn't exactly bad to realize there may or may not be parts that resonate with you still.
[ they do not say they got the impression shadowheart has killed, but tracks. ]
She was chained up. A prisoner. Not an armed warrior, fighting back. And when she spoke to me, she intimated that she knew things about me. Things I admittedly wanted the answer to.
Are they still things you think you want an answer to? [ they can't exactly blame her, they think they would make a similar choice. ] Even when you're used to fighting and have killed someone, it feels... off to do it when a person can't defend themselves, I would think.
[ they do not like the sound of that, and it shows in their posture. ]
Of course not. But even if it's necessary I don't know if that eliminates how you feel about it. [ unease. guilt. even for someone like shadowheart who follows lady shar so closely... it must have really made a different if it shook her faith enough to make her hesitate. ]
Might be one of the things to reflect on here, too. Maybe the questions you sought the answers to aren't the only ones to be asking. You know?
Then I guess the question now is really settling on what that future may be. I like to think people are free to choose, but of course circumstances can prevent you from reaching it easily.
[ so. it is up to her. ]
If you really do feel strongly about it being following Lady Shar, then okay. But... if you did want to think about other options, it isn't as if she'd know here. You have time.
I believe he grew up and then was crucified? And then came back from the dead, but so much of the imagery still praises the baby. So both, maybe. I'm not entirely sure I follow what it all means.
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[she definitely did omit that detail on purpose though.]
Not my whole life, but as long as I can remember. I was an orphan, I was taken in by them when I was young. After everything they've given me, of course I want to follow her, but I also believe in her cause.
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[ they do not say they got the impression shadowheart has killed, but tracks. ]
What causes you to hesitate in killing her?
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But doing the necessary thing is not always pleasant.
[as for the answers...]
I did what was asked, and I didn't get the answers I sought. So maybe that bargain was always false.
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Of course not. But even if it's necessary I don't know if that eliminates how you feel about it. [ unease. guilt. even for someone like shadowheart who follows lady shar so closely... it must have really made a different if it shook her faith enough to make her hesitate. ]
Might be one of the things to reflect on here, too. Maybe the questions you sought the answers to aren't the only ones to be asking. You know?
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[it's only if her future isn't that that it matters.]
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[ so. it is up to her. ]
If you really do feel strongly about it being following Lady Shar, then okay. But... if you did want to think about other options, it isn't as if she'd know here. You have time.
[ a suggestion, not a demand. ]
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Perhaps I'll follow an axolotl instead.
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I never had a god I followed before, but this one hasn't been so bad. I'm sure that makes me slightly biased though.
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[ no she's entirely valid and zuriel agrees. ]
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[baby Jesus?]
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[ they are in fact talking about baby jesus. ]
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And he just stayed a baby forever...?
[gods giving birth to kids really isn't unheard of for her but the baby part is fucking her up.]
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[ knows a christianity, but is not religious. ]
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Well, I can agree a lizard is much preferable to a baby who later died.
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Even if you may not meet the lizard for some time? [ a pause. ] Not that anyone met the baby either in recent history.
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