[ it's... a crowded neighborhood, and there's a wince of sympathy for a moment. also she asks an important question and given he has had a low-lying thrumming sort of anxiety all day she can probably guess. ]
Fine, I guess. I'm staying out of everybody's way and figuring that'll kind of be the best way for all of us to cope and share the same space for a while.
... yeah, that's fine. I don't really want to be called God or anything, so. [ so gabriel works. ]
That's really nice of you to say, Shadowheart. [ but? ] But I did still technically lie to everybody. I think everybody has a right to feel deceived and mad, and I don't want to make it worse while everybody's still processing.
[ and besides, i can hear everything in the neighborhood anyway whether i want to or not. ]
But you were right. About doing it early. It would've been worse to wait until actual Judgment Day.
[ he sort of stares at her and this thought isn't shared, but he very much is thinking about the part where there are always going to be people who don't trust him whether he revealed himself or not. but it doesn't really matter since there's one goal in mind. everything else is baggage. ]
There are goals in mind. Finding Ariel, fixing the islands, eliminating the Entity and your final judgments. Barring any last-minutes surprises everything should go smoothly.
[she was more thinking of the fact that she is an adult and a sex haver but yeah that's awkward too. hopefully he liked it in that one conversation where she considered whether gabe was evil for like 5 seconds but then was like nah.]
[ thanks shadowheart he will not listen to the sex having, you are safe. he has heard a lot of fun conversations about him though, wild. anyway, a nod. ]
If we're evaluated, will it be based on how well we advocate for ourselves, or your own observations? And would we be able to speak on the behalf of others?
[ he hears the question... and he turns to grab a bottle to pour whiskey directly into his coffee. whatever. may as well. but he does seem to be mulling over the best response. ]
I'm not interested in failing any of you. [ first of all. ] I have my own observations, but before anybody asks that doesn't mean there are biases. I will be taking things into account based on conversations we have had about your growth, and based on your own conversations and actions with each other. I didn't... want to be completely absent. So I was here to see for myself and try to help.
Doesn't mean it's just my word against yours though. You will have a chance to advocate for yourselves. [ and then... ] Who're you worried about that you want to advocate for?
I have, yeah. Anders has asked me about the same thing. [ ...a sip. ] I know Claude is worried considering what he did. I know Anders doesn't think he's changed for the better. And I know you're still a little scared of breaking away from Shar.
So I suppose this means you think they do deserve the second chance. And for yourself?
[a little surprised that she can readily admit it, but she does.]
I know there are others who deserve it more than I do, and I don't know if I believe I can really call myself a good person, but... I feel as though I never even got a first chance. I barely ever had any time away from Shar to find out who I might have been.
I think Anders is the same. He's been focused for so long on Justice, on the mages, and while his intentions were never bad it drove him to desperate places... I don't know if he could go back to Kirkwall and change for the better, but I believe outside of that place that drove him insane, it could be different for him.
[ he's not fast enough to suffocate the pleased blip that comes from hearing this. okay. be professional. you can do that. ]
I don't think this is about who does and doesn't deserve it more. You're all here on your separate paths and being judged against different merits. [ ...but yes, this is a conclusion he's come to himself, too, about how she's barely had time to decide if she could have a first chance and what to do with it. same with justice. same with people who have been bound by war and duty and other things they couldn't get out of. ]
You're both going back together, aren't you? [ ... ] "Good" is technically subjective. What one person might consider goodness somebody else might not. And that's why it's hard to say what you should and shouldn't strive for, specifically. It was the whole point of all of this.
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I'd forgotten it was like this. And all piled together into the mansion, too. How are you doing with it?
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Fine, I guess. I'm staying out of everybody's way and figuring that'll kind of be the best way for all of us to cope and share the same space for a while.
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[frowning at his mood.]
It's really alright. It's natural that some might feel deceived, but you still are one of us.
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That's really nice of you to say, Shadowheart. [ but? ] But I did still technically lie to everybody. I think everybody has a right to feel deceived and mad, and I don't want to make it worse while everybody's still processing.
[ and besides, i can hear everything in the neighborhood anyway whether i want to or not. ]
But you were right. About doing it early. It would've been worse to wait until actual Judgment Day.
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Yes, I think it would have been hard to get everyone willing to trust in your judgment without time to decide how they feel about it.
How do you think that day will go?
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There are goals in mind. Finding Ariel, fixing the islands, eliminating the Entity and your final judgments. Barring any last-minutes surprises everything should go smoothly.
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May I ask you something about judgments?
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Sure. What is it?
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I'm not interested in failing any of you. [ first of all. ] I have my own observations, but before anybody asks that doesn't mean there are biases. I will be taking things into account based on conversations we have had about your growth, and based on your own conversations and actions with each other. I didn't... want to be completely absent. So I was here to see for myself and try to help.
Doesn't mean it's just my word against yours though. You will have a chance to advocate for yourselves. [ and then... ] Who're you worried about that you want to advocate for?
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[she also still doesn't know how she feels speaking for her own self.]
But I suppose you've seen the same things I have.
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I have, yeah. Anders has asked me about the same thing. [ ...a sip. ] I know Claude is worried considering what he did. I know Anders doesn't think he's changed for the better. And I know you're still a little scared of breaking away from Shar.
So I suppose this means you think they do deserve the second chance. And for yourself?
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[a little surprised that she can readily admit it, but she does.]
I know there are others who deserve it more than I do, and I don't know if I believe I can really call myself a good person, but... I feel as though I never even got a first chance. I barely ever had any time away from Shar to find out who I might have been.
I think Anders is the same. He's been focused for so long on Justice, on the mages, and while his intentions were never bad it drove him to desperate places... I don't know if he could go back to Kirkwall and change for the better, but I believe outside of that place that drove him insane, it could be different for him.
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I don't think this is about who does and doesn't deserve it more. You're all here on your separate paths and being judged against different merits. [ ...but yes, this is a conclusion he's come to himself, too, about how she's barely had time to decide if she could have a first chance and what to do with it. same with justice. same with people who have been bound by war and duty and other things they couldn't get out of. ]
You're both going back together, aren't you? [ ... ] "Good" is technically subjective. What one person might consider goodness somebody else might not. And that's why it's hard to say what you should and shouldn't strive for, specifically. It was the whole point of all of this.
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We are. And I trust you to understand, you were here with us.
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Why do you think I made sure to build in an option to be here with you?