[The face he makes as Hawke cuts the bell down anyway is one of a pain no painter could hope to capture.
And there's a guard immediately behind this fucking door! Great! Richie opens his mouth to try for some off-putting sound, just to goose the guy quick enough to lend the boys an edge. Except he almost drowned a few minutes ago and his throat is kinda fucked, so all he does is choke.
Rolling a 4 against Taair's 9, the guard is successfully pushed away from the bell and towards Adolphe! Unfortunately, this guard is light on his feet and with a 17, he ducks out of the way when Adolphe takes a swing at him with his sword. His head will stay firmly attached to his neck, thank you.
He is soooo preoccupied with not getting beheaded, though, that he rolls a hecking 1 and gets clocked in the face with the bell. Dong! There's a wet crunch behind the clanging of the bell as the guard crumples to the floor, face a bloody mess, knocked out but still alive.]
taair jumps like a foot when the bell goes off again, his hand on his heart, and releases a breath he did not realize he was holding when the guard goes down. there's no time to check if he's alive, actually - he immediately looks around at their surroundings to make sure no one else is coming. ]
We need to move, now. [ gogogo what's around here ]
[ There's no time to check if the guard is alive, so Adolphe just does the next best thing: he drives a sword into the guard's neck and quickly pulls it out.
So, yeah! Let's run? Y/N? Adolphe doesn't wait this time though, and just runs. If there's another door, he will try to open it. If there's a staircase, he will go up the stairs. It's time to speedrun! Any%! He expects the other three to run too, eventually. ]
[Birds are really smart actually look you did help!!
Richie is sort of amazed at this gong show, sparing a moment to also be like "bwuh." But then he's also running up, good god let's get out of here before the ruckus brings holy hell down on all their heads.
As if it won't the second we try to make our way back down.
Fuck shit son of a bitch goddammit they're gonna need a miracle.]
Off they go! The room they've found themselves in is, actually, less of a room and more like a long, empty corridor. Wide, spacious, and only dimly lit by torches on each side of the door behind them, and then two more at the very end of the corridor. There is no door on the other side. Only a big, open archway that leads to a courtyard illuminated by moonlight.
Since Taair memorized the map, he would know that they're on the ground floor of the castle fortress. The building they are currently in only has one level. Across the courtyard is the main bulk of the castle, comprised of six floors. They only need to make it through this corridor and across the courtyard to access it.
Easy, right?
Or not. Because this whole corridor is filled with traps, and Adolphe will feel one of the stone tiles under his foot sink — before an arrow flies past his shoulders. Immediately, the walls begin to rumble as they slowly inch forward, fully intending to crush the four men like bugs. It's not as easy as just booking it out of here to avoid such a fate, because there are now arrows and metal spikes emerging from every direction.
If the walls don't crush to them death first, then the other traps surely will.
For this next section, please roll 3 d20 and post your results here. One dice for speed, another for dexterity and a third one for damage. Let's go, boys. Go, go, go!]
[ okay!!! he reports this information to the others before things start to go - out to the courtyard from the corridor, to the main building, and then there are traps happening. h
hey, out of all of the cool zippy assassins and stuff in the game, did you know that taair is the fastest character in sword of convallaria? his running away skills are IMMACULATE. so with a 19 he is going to zip through the traps the best that he can, trying to dodge out of the way of as much damage as possible, though with a [14] and a [10], he is likely dodging slightly less to try and keep some of the others from getting hit, willingly taking a spike or an arrow here or there even if it hurts.
Adolphe is usually not the fastest, but he's definitely running like his life depends on it (14), and he can't be successful with this mission if he's dead. He would like his companions to survive too and it distracts him from being nimble for the traps (2), in which he doesn't get away from this unscathed (11). ]
well. hawke's not the fastest guy on his feet but he's doing his best (12), and his bulk means there's more target to be shot at (8), and maybe he's cool for all of three seconds because he definitely fails his ninja warrior attempt with a big fat one (1). rip ]
[Because i did not do unrolls and sisi was allowed I'm going to apply my numbers ICly as well.
Sadly, while Richie may hoof it and hoof it good (16), it's canon that he was the most frequently caught by the bullies and is generally, not your man for athletic prowess. Off the dance floor at least. Giving him the (7) for dexterity, but extremely generously giving myself the (18) on avoiding taking damage. We've got five more floors after this I simply cannot beef it this early.
[Okay. Based on their rolls, the gang will make it out of the corridor in the following order: Taair, Richie, Adolphe and Hawke.
Now, here's the rundown of how fucked up they're all getting in the process!
With his dex roll, Taair doesn't take as many hits as he could compared to the rest of the gang. Several arrows and spikes fly past him, skimming his limbs and sides, leaving nasty cuts of varying depths in their wake. The worst of it is definitely a spike that comes out of seemingly nowhere just as he's about to cross the finish line, tearing through his left calf and taking a chunk of his leg with it. His leg will survive, but, uh. That is a very nasty hole. Ouch. He will stumble out of the corridor directly after this.
Richie will not be tearing up the dancefloor any time soon, because he takes a single arrow to the one of his buttcheeks right before stumbling out of the corridor. Surface level, just an inch and a half into his dread inspiring hellish flat ass. I feel Alli in this tower... He takes a few cuts and scrapes on the way, but that's it.
Adolphe takes so many arrows. So many!! He looks like a fucking pincushion by the time he stumbles out of the corridor, but thankfully none of the arrows hit anything vital. He just looks like a human porcupine, a dozen arrows sticking out of him, by the end of it.
Hawke... What doesn't happen to Hawke? Sliced up and struck by a dozen arrows and spikes. He barely makes it out with his bulky frame, and even then it's because he literally gets knocked out of the corridor when a spike comes flying at his face and embeds itself in his eye. Hawke falls ass first into the courtyard, one leg still inside the corridor and in danger of getting squished like a grape if the rest of the gang doesn't haul him the fuck out.]
[ good god. well!!! it's good to be zippy and quick but even being quick isn't quite fast enough. he can feel the cuts tearing through his armor, and makes a choked off noise at the spike shoving into his calf - it's enough to send taair stumbling forward with a sharp gasp, nearly careening into the wall as the pain whites out his vision, briefly.
thankfully in some au where he's a mercenary, he's like, kind of used to getting fucked up so at least he's able to put himself back to his feet, reaching down to his leg just in time for the rest of the squad coming through the door. everyone is bleeding and awful, and taair spots the door trying to close with widened eyes. oh no, oh no - ]
-- Hawke! [ and flings himself forward with all of the mama bird adrenaline you could imagine, grabbing oonto their big beefy mage and trying to tug him out of the way of the oncoming door. hopefully with the help of others because otherwise he's getting crushed! ]
[ imagine if adolphe just fuckin left hawke there after making it out
But no. This is an AU where he cares about the rest of the band of misfits, so despite getting absolutely pincushioned and momentarily kinning a porcupine in appearance and metaphorical personality, he turns immediately to grab onto Hawke to yank him out. Around 200 pounds or no, he's pulling him out as much as he can with all the strength he can muster despite bleeding out of 932875298 wounds that the infinite arrows made. Taair's injury mending just ten minutes prior seems useless now. ]
[ good thing the others are Slight More alive than he's feeling right now because whoo boy has your guy ascended into another plane of agony and gritted noises of pain, and clutching his face.
ow!!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!! him eye!!!
honestly it's a miracle he's still conscious but given the moving and shaking (and 90001 arrows) he's just gonna vibe for a bit ✌️ ]
Richie hits the deck in some pain, but also is acutely aware that as a mercenary this is not the worst pain he's ever been in. Meanwhile Adolphe — oh god, Hawke!
Thank god there is the imminent threat of losing the man entirely to spur him into action, at once snatching his other arm and heave-hoing with the others to haul him free. That's one way to get over a paralyzing fear of eyeball trauma.]
[The walls slam together with a resounding thud, crushing anything and everything that's still inside.
Luckily, through their efforts combined, that does not include Hawke! Yippee! Perhaps Adolphe double tapping the guard you knocked out earlier was a blessing, though. Can you imagine waking up to getting crushed like a soda can...
Anyway, the courtyard is blissfully quiet. Empty. There are no guards out here that they can see, at least. An ornate set of double doors sits on the other side of the courtyard, embossed with gold, and leading deeper into the castle. The large tower looms over them, waiting. With the corridor barricaded off, there's no way for them to go back the way they came.
okay well taair's first point of action is to quickly cut more strips of cloth out of his clothing and hurry for hawke, first, stumbling over to him to try and get at least some of these injuries triaged so we don't die before we even get to the psychological trauma. his hands flutter, and then like clockwork, he sets right into battle medic mode, glancing at the uh. spike. situation. in hawke, and working to plug up anything that does not have a convenient plug first with what little he has.
with more force than usual: ]
Someone - someone keep watch, and, do not pull out any arrows yet, and, do not move too much, any of you! [ a beat ] - please.
[ baby bird remembers his manners at all times. he is also bleeding, but the adrenaline is going at the moment hard enough that he's not thinking about it. yay ]
[ This porcupine listens to everything Taair has to say and pulls out an arrow right as he stares at his eyes.
You think I'm kidding? I'm not. But Adolphe is reasonable and only pulled out one where it brings the most discomfort when moving around, so he believes it's necessary. But it's fine. While Taair is busy treating Hawke, he treats himself by tearing cloth from the hem of his own pants and wrapping it tightly.
[ adolphe could have wandered off and started dancing naked and hawke would have simply not notice right now.
not to mention he probably can't.
see it.
you know? given the entire everything? it's fine. it's fine? he'll just be here cursing his ancestors for his shit DEX points and bemoaning the fact he didn't listen to mother and become a carpenter instead. ]
[Richie will not pull his arrow out, but he will snap off the end to a reasonable length just to keep from thwapping it on something and making it worse. That said, please don't make him do this whole cyoa with an ass arrow.
After that he will go up to tap Adolphe on the shoulder and point a thumb back to Taair and Hawke.]
Addy, I'll be look out. Once he's done with Hawke he will need to see to you, too. Don't argue.
[Richie keeps good watch and he doesn't fuss about his own wounds — not when everyone else is hurt worse. He'll keep a sharp eye.]
[ the thing is he is not even surprised by this behavior when adolphe makes eye contact with him. why are you like this!!!! richie saves the day, though, and taair makes a soft noise of gratitude from where he is working.
and. unfortunately, he's too busy working on hawke to stop him entirely - and he does trust adolphe, though he clicks his tongue and works to bind up everything he can as well as he can. injuries mean low movement, which makes it even more troubling to think what this 'demon' could have in store in this tower of horrors, but he's trying not to think about it as he gives hawke a tiny smile. ]
I'm sorry I cannot do more, my friend...when we get out of this, the first round of your drinks is on me, alright? Dream of that for a moment, and catch your breath... this should hold for now.
[ and he will gently cup his cheek with one hand and give it a little pat pat, and then get up and go over to adolphe and investigate him too, the sad little taair frown of worry in full swing. ]
As for you - [ murmuring because it's not a true scolding: ] You must learn a bit of patience. Your strength is as always impressive, but I do not want someone as formidable as you to be taken down not by an injury, but by gangrene. [ puff. it's more fussy and worried than anything, but he will snap off any remaining arrow shafts to a reasonable length so they don't slow our sweet porcupine terminator down any.
and then. the power of friendship and TWO cyoas that he doesn't remember means he does not feel any kind of way about coming over and fussing over richie.... and snapping the shaft of the arrow in his ass. he doesn't even laugh about it. that's friendship right there.
after that, he exhales outwards and presses against his own leg - he's going to have start cutting into padding for any more cloth so they better stop getting injured. (this will not happen.) ]
[ Adolphe just sighs and goes back to where Taair is when Richie tells him to go. Fine! He starts getting treated and despite his earlier behavior, he listens some more and doesn't act out. He's behaving. ]
... Sorry. I just want to get this over with. I feel anxious that maybe we bit off more than we could chew this time... and I don't want to be right.
[ He also wants this to get done while he still had his adrenaline going... ]
You couldn't have said anything before we got here?
[ weakly. you know he'll be ok when he continues to be unable stop his mouth from making noises even if he looks two steps away from simply staying on the floor and not getting back up. stupid traps. he'll shift to see how much he can still move and swear naughty words that would make a sailor blush. slowly and surely it is ]
Perhaps we should have taken that sake with us anyway.
[thank you for being so kind about his ass wound.]
I don't blame you, Adolphe. Shit, you could triple the payout and I'm not sure I'd barrel down the tunnel of love for it. [Richie clucks his tongue and runs his gaze over the courtyard a third or fourth time.] Can't wait to find out what other surprises they have in store. Think they'll throw us a welcome party if we make it to lucky number six?
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holyspirits) wrote2025-03-23 03:12 pm
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And there's a guard immediately behind this fucking door! Great! Richie opens his mouth to try for some off-putting sound, just to goose the guy quick enough to lend the boys an edge. Except he almost drowned a few minutes ago and his throat is kinda fucked, so all he does is choke.
Godspeed.]
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Rolling a 4 against Taair's 9, the guard is successfully pushed away from the bell and towards Adolphe! Unfortunately, this guard is light on his feet and with a 17, he ducks out of the way when Adolphe takes a swing at him with his sword. His head will stay firmly attached to his neck, thank you.
He is soooo preoccupied with not getting beheaded, though, that he rolls a hecking 1 and gets clocked in the face with the bell. Dong! There's a wet crunch behind the clanging of the bell as the guard crumples to the floor, face a bloody mess, knocked out but still alive.]
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taair jumps like a foot when the bell goes off again, his hand on his heart, and releases a breath he did not realize he was holding when the guard goes down. there's no time to check if he's alive, actually - he immediately looks around at their surroundings to make sure no one else is coming. ]
We need to move, now. [ gogogo what's around here ]
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So, yeah! Let's run? Y/N? Adolphe doesn't wait this time though, and just runs. If there's another door, he will try to open it. If there's a staircase, he will go up the stairs. It's time to speedrun! Any%! He expects the other three to run too, eventually. ]
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hawke spares a moment to hehe in failing upwards and rub his sore face before its a scramble to get out of dodge.
no more being helpful for him!!!! he's on looming only duty. maybe his bird eyes will be more useful than his bird brain ]
I think I'll leave the sneaking to the rest of you.
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Richie is sort of amazed at this gong show, sparing a moment to also be like "bwuh." But then he's also running up, good god let's get out of here before the ruckus brings holy hell down on all their heads.
As if it won't the second we try to make our way back down.
Fuck shit son of a bitch goddammit they're gonna need a miracle.]
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Off they go! The room they've found themselves in is, actually, less of a room and more like a long, empty corridor. Wide, spacious, and only dimly lit by torches on each side of the door behind them, and then two more at the very end of the corridor. There is no door on the other side. Only a big, open archway that leads to a courtyard illuminated by moonlight.
Since Taair memorized the map, he would know that they're on the ground floor of the castle fortress. The building they are currently in only has one level. Across the courtyard is the main bulk of the castle, comprised of six floors. They only need to make it through this corridor and across the courtyard to access it.
Easy, right?
Or not. Because this whole corridor is filled with traps, and Adolphe will feel one of the stone tiles under his foot sink — before an arrow flies past his shoulders. Immediately, the walls begin to rumble as they slowly inch forward, fully intending to crush the four men like bugs. It's not as easy as just booking it out of here to avoid such a fate, because there are now arrows and metal spikes emerging from every direction.
If the walls don't crush to them death first, then the other traps surely will.
For this next section, please roll 3 d20 and post your results here. One dice for speed, another for dexterity and a third one for damage. Let's go, boys. Go, go, go!]
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hey, out of all of the cool zippy assassins and stuff in the game, did you know that taair is the fastest character in sword of convallaria? his running away skills are IMMACULATE. so with a 19 he is going to zip through the traps the best that he can, trying to dodge out of the way of as much damage as possible, though with a [14] and a [10], he is likely dodging slightly less to try and keep some of the others from getting hit, willingly taking a spike or an arrow here or there even if it hurts.
HIT DA BRICKS ]
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Adolphe is usually not the fastest, but he's definitely running like his life depends on it (14), and he can't be successful with this mission if he's dead. He would like his companions to survive too and it distracts him from being nimble for the traps (2), in which he doesn't get away from this unscathed (11). ]
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ok.
well. hawke's not the fastest guy on his feet but he's doing his best (12), and his bulk means there's more target to be shot at (8), and maybe he's cool for all of three seconds because he definitely fails his ninja warrior attempt with a big fat one (1). rip ]
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Sadly, while Richie may hoof it and hoof it good (16), it's canon that he was the most frequently caught by the bullies and is generally, not your man for athletic prowess. Off the dance floor at least. Giving him the (7) for dexterity, but extremely generously giving myself the (18) on avoiding taking damage. We've got five more floors after this I simply cannot beef it this early.
Plus we might have to carry Hawke help]
cw: eye trauma
Now, here's the rundown of how fucked up they're all getting in the process!
With his dex roll, Taair doesn't take as many hits as he could compared to the rest of the gang. Several arrows and spikes fly past him, skimming his limbs and sides, leaving nasty cuts of varying depths in their wake. The worst of it is definitely a spike that comes out of seemingly nowhere just as he's about to cross the finish line, tearing through his left calf and taking a chunk of his leg with it. His leg will survive, but, uh. That is a very nasty hole. Ouch. He will stumble out of the corridor directly after this.
Richie will not be tearing up the dancefloor any time soon, because he takes a single arrow to the one of his buttcheeks right before stumbling out of the corridor. Surface level, just an inch and a half into his dread inspiring hellish flat ass. I feel Alli in this tower... He takes a few cuts and scrapes on the way, but that's it.
Adolphe takes so many arrows. So many!! He looks like a fucking pincushion by the time he stumbles out of the corridor, but thankfully none of the arrows hit anything vital. He just looks like a human porcupine, a dozen arrows sticking out of him, by the end of it.
Hawke... What doesn't happen to Hawke? Sliced up and struck by a dozen arrows and spikes. He barely makes it out with his bulky frame, and even then it's because he literally gets knocked out of the corridor when a spike comes flying at his face and embeds itself in his eye. Hawke falls ass first into the courtyard, one leg still inside the corridor and in danger of getting squished like a grape if the rest of the gang doesn't haul him the fuck out.]
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thankfully in some au where he's a mercenary, he's like, kind of used to getting fucked up so at least he's able to put himself back to his feet, reaching down to his leg just in time for the rest of the squad coming through the door. everyone is bleeding and awful, and taair spots the door trying to close with widened eyes. oh no, oh no - ]
-- Hawke! [ and flings himself forward with all of the mama bird adrenaline you could imagine, grabbing oonto their big beefy mage and trying to tug him out of the way of the oncoming door. hopefully with the help of others because otherwise he's getting crushed! ]
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But no. This is an AU where he cares about the rest of the band of misfits, so despite getting absolutely pincushioned and momentarily kinning a porcupine in appearance and metaphorical personality, he turns immediately to grab onto Hawke to yank him out. Around 200 pounds or no, he's pulling him out as much as he can with all the strength he can muster despite bleeding out of 932875298 wounds that the infinite arrows made. Taair's injury mending just ten minutes prior seems useless now. ]
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ow!!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!! him eye!!!
honestly it's a miracle he's still conscious but given the moving and shaking (and 90001 arrows) he's just gonna vibe for a bit ✌️ ]
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[HIS DREAD INSPIRING ASS.
Richie hits the deck in some pain, but also is acutely aware that as a mercenary this is not the worst pain he's ever been in. Meanwhile Adolphe — oh god, Hawke!
Thank god there is the imminent threat of losing the man entirely to spur him into action, at once snatching his other arm and heave-hoing with the others to haul him free. That's one way to get over a paralyzing fear of eyeball trauma.]
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Luckily, through their efforts combined, that does not include Hawke! Yippee! Perhaps Adolphe double tapping the guard you knocked out earlier was a blessing, though. Can you imagine waking up to getting crushed like a soda can...
Anyway, the courtyard is blissfully quiet. Empty. There are no guards out here that they can see, at least. An ornate set of double doors sits on the other side of the courtyard, embossed with gold, and leading deeper into the castle. The large tower looms over them, waiting. With the corridor barricaded off, there's no way for them to go back the way they came.
They can take a moment to lick their wounds.]
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okay well taair's first point of action is to quickly cut more strips of cloth out of his clothing and hurry for hawke, first, stumbling over to him to try and get at least some of these injuries triaged so we don't die before we even get to the psychological trauma. his hands flutter, and then like clockwork, he sets right into battle medic mode, glancing at the uh. spike. situation. in hawke, and working to plug up anything that does not have a convenient plug first with what little he has.
with more force than usual: ]
Someone - someone keep watch, and, do not pull out any arrows yet, and, do not move too much, any of you! [ a beat ] - please.
[ baby bird remembers his manners at all times. he is also bleeding, but the adrenaline is going at the moment hard enough that he's not thinking about it. yay ]
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You think I'm kidding? I'm not. But Adolphe is reasonable and only pulled out one where it brings the most discomfort when moving around, so he believes it's necessary. But it's fine. While Taair is busy treating Hawke, he treats himself by tearing cloth from the hem of his own pants and wrapping it tightly.
After that, he goes to keep watch. gooby. ]
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not to mention he probably can't.
see it.
you know? given the entire everything? it's fine. it's fine? he'll just be here cursing his ancestors for his shit DEX points and bemoaning the fact he didn't listen to mother and become a carpenter instead. ]
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After that he will go up to tap Adolphe on the shoulder and point a thumb back to Taair and Hawke.]
Addy, I'll be look out. Once he's done with Hawke he will need to see to you, too. Don't argue.
[Richie keeps good watch and he doesn't fuss about his own wounds — not when everyone else is hurt worse. He'll keep a sharp eye.]
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and. unfortunately, he's too busy working on hawke to stop him entirely - and he does trust adolphe, though he clicks his tongue and works to bind up everything he can as well as he can. injuries mean low movement, which makes it even more troubling to think what this 'demon' could have in store in this tower of horrors, but he's trying not to think about it as he gives hawke a tiny smile. ]
I'm sorry I cannot do more, my friend...when we get out of this, the first round of your drinks is on me, alright? Dream of that for a moment, and catch your breath... this should hold for now.
[ and he will gently cup his cheek with one hand and give it a little pat pat, and then get up and go over to adolphe and investigate him too, the sad little taair frown of worry in full swing. ]
As for you - [ murmuring because it's not a true scolding: ] You must learn a bit of patience. Your strength is as always impressive, but I do not want someone as formidable as you to be taken down not by an injury, but by gangrene. [ puff. it's more fussy and worried than anything, but he will snap off any remaining arrow shafts to a reasonable length so they don't slow our sweet porcupine terminator down any.
and then. the power of friendship and TWO cyoas that he doesn't remember means he does not feel any kind of way about coming over and fussing over richie.... and snapping the shaft of the arrow in his ass. he doesn't even laugh about it. that's friendship right there.
after that, he exhales outwards and presses against his own leg - he's going to have start cutting into padding for any more cloth so they better stop getting injured. (this will not happen.) ]
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... Sorry. I just want to get this over with. I feel anxious that maybe we bit off more than we could chew this time... and I don't want to be right.
[ He also wants this to get done while he still had his adrenaline going... ]
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[ weakly. you know he'll be ok when he continues to be unable stop his mouth from making noises even if he looks two steps away from simply staying on the floor and not getting back up. stupid traps. he'll shift to see how much he can still move and swear naughty words that would make a sailor blush. slowly and surely it is ]
Perhaps we should have taken that sake with us anyway.
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I don't blame you, Adolphe. Shit, you could triple the payout and I'm not sure I'd barrel down the tunnel of love for it. [Richie clucks his tongue and runs his gaze over the courtyard a third or fourth time.] Can't wait to find out what other surprises they have in store. Think they'll throw us a welcome party if we make it to lucky number six?
[if they make it up there.]
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