[Ugh...Akihiko puts his hand on his face for a moment]
Of course not!
[How to put it into words...]
...because nobody else gets to decide that but me. I'm the one who has to change. Obviously I'm the one who has to figure out when and where the starting point of any change is at.
So fine, if you and the rest want to gawk at that, go ahead. See if I care.
[He cares, deeply, but damn it, what else is he supposed to do without causing a whole mess that can put the current mission into peril? Sucks to have to swallow this bitterness, because it feels like a constant punch to the stomach to have this reminder especially when it's all so fresh, but oh well]
What anyone else thinks won't change what I have decided, and besides, I don't owe you nor anyone on this ship anything.
[Or at least he hopes so, because if it turns out this ship's population will, who knows, turn up at the end to vote or something to decide if he gets redemption or not, he's screwed!]
[Akihiko sure can feel the stares of the crowd, watching his execution. Great! What's next, he wonders, what other salt is going to get rubbed into his wounds next?! Akihiko grits his teeth for a moment]
Do you really think any of that is something I can forget?! I couldn't even if I wanted! All that is going to follow me forever. But that doesn't mean I'm going to grovel in front of any random girl on a random ship!
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Of course not!
[How to put it into words...]
...because nobody else gets to decide that but me. I'm the one who has to change. Obviously I'm the one who has to figure out when and where the starting point of any change is at.
So fine, if you and the rest want to gawk at that, go ahead. See if I care.
[He cares, deeply, but damn it, what else is he supposed to do without causing a whole mess that can put the current mission into peril? Sucks to have to swallow this bitterness, because it feels like a constant punch to the stomach to have this reminder especially when it's all so fresh, but oh well]
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[Or at least he hopes so, because if it turns out this ship's population will, who knows, turn up at the end to vote or something to decide if he gets redemption or not, he's screwed!]
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The truth, for example?
Sounds to me like you just act selfishly and dress it up in nice words after so you can forget about it.
The crowd gasps and oohs sympathetically, but Akihiko gets the feeling it isn't him they're sympathetic towards. ]
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Do you really think any of that is something I can forget?! I couldn't even if I wanted! All that is going to follow me forever. But that doesn't mean I'm going to grovel in front of any random girl on a random ship!
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