[ very, very interesting. they are starting to see what happened here. and they're trying to float, too? let them up. ]
Quiet doesn't seem so bad. [ but then again, they could use it, sometimes. ] You sure everyone in the collective would be wanting, thinking, and talking the same way? How do you know they won't conflict?
[The questions make him laugh quietly for some reason.]
No one wants, thinks, or talks the same. Everyone in the collective was their own person. I could hear their minds, their desires. They did not conflict because everyone was at peace as a single coexistence.
I... have misunderstood the arcane. [ they sound a little amused and a little embarrassed. they still think they're right that what happened to viktor and merging with the arcane was Bad, but. they can understand the appeal. of what the arcane was meant to do. ]
It's more like the cloud. But can the collective grow? If they can think and want, can they grow and change?
That's alright. [He seems amused himself.] It's a manifested hub of the connection the arcane can allow. A place where everyone is linked to each other and me. I am also still learning more about it.
[He shakes his head gently.]
I don't know. The commune was young. I never had the chance to find out. But I was brought someone whose mutation locked away who they were, and I was using the connection to search their mind for what was missing.
[ a pause to that. this, too, sounds familiar. there are a lot of similarities here that they are discovering in an offshoot way and they're not sure how to feel about that. it's not bad, necessarily, but it makes them think. ]
Like a train station. Everyone coming from different directions but they're all gathered to go to the same destination. [ sure, fine. ] Do mutations like that happen a lot? When you search a mind, is it like this?
[ hm. should they be concerned about viktor searching their mind actually. that's a new thought. ]
No, I had never come across anything like it yet. Not in that way. I think... he was a human who had been experimented on perhaps, mixed with an animal. His consciousness had been locked behind instinct.
It is in a similar space, though not exactly this one. I can venture inside the mind as I am now and open memories or feelings. Bridge gaps.
And in order to find it you had to push past the layers. But you didn't succeed before you came here.
[ this makes sense, yeah. this does actually help, though they are still looking at viktor. he can't see their expression, but with their posture slouched slightly and head tilted they seem to be considering options. ]
What do you call absolute necessity? A case like the mutation where it's so deeply tangled you have to unlock memories to find the strongest ones?
He was a difficult case. The experimentation pushed his conscience far within.
[His smile is small, reassuring.]
I was asked to do this for him by people who cared for the man he was before. [The necessity.] I had to reach back into the memories of who he was, as many of them as I could rouse until he was himself. Big, small, just many of them. The most important ones who made them who he was.
[He gets the impression they are worried about this, so his laugh isn't mean.]
The people who asked me were what amounted to his daughters. At least, that's what I garnered from his memories. He was their father, and they wanted him back because they thought he had died.
I think so. [He seems... not pleased in an arrogant way, but in a relieved way.] He was becoming less feral and more like himself. Becoming kinder.
[But then he frowns gently and glances out at the cosmos of the arcane.]
Without me to tether them all together, however... I'm not sure what became of him. Everything would be broken. I'm not sure if they return to their former selves, or if they would simply... perish. He was a mutation, though, so perhaps he would survive.
[ what if you don't ask kiraman about their opinions on family. ]
... there's a disconnect between here and there. [ they mean with viktor, and they don't say so. ] If you could separate the man and the animal, think you could separate you and the hexcore?
[No, no. Tell the opinion on family. Is it bad? Abusive? A cover? Fake?
His head swivels to look at them.]
Why would I want to do that?
[Unlike before, he doesn't seem icily feral when he asks, but genuinely confused. It isn't the Hexcore refusing to let go, but a worry of becoming worthless.
Don't take the only thing he can do now to make a difference in people's lives (he thinks). He's always been weak and useless, nevermind his brain is what wasn't. He's been terminal, too. This is all he has.
But he understands they have asked a question, so: he looks outward again.]
I don't know... I haven't considered trying on myself. I'm not sure if it would work that way, but perhaps. Anything is possible, right? You try until you make that true.
they don't seem to mind viktor watching them, keeping their face (?) turned toward him. right. okay. have to remember he doesn't actually see there's a problem here. ]
Sure, anything is possible. As long as you remember that there are always going to be unknowns that you're solving for. Like, let's say what you're trying to solve for is how to keep saving your people if you separate from the hexcore. Before you can solve for that, you need to factor in other variables, such as your free will, and your capabilities to make certain changes. While some won't work in this formula, others will. There are multiple answers to the same question. In this case, your unknown is "what would happen to me if I separated from the hexcore." And you take your y and your z into account, with y equally your research on the invention and your z being your choices in how you use it. With those, you solve.
"If y +z, my research and my choices, can be multiplied and create a new answer, that's my x."
[ which is to say they do not think it would necessarily be the end of viktor if he was able to create and do all of this once. ]
[Instead of merely looking, he spins in place to face them, expression wryly amused.]
Do you always turn your problems into mathematical equations to solve them?
[Unfortunately, he is peering at Kiraman now with an interest which really couldn't present itself on the other side when dulled by the neutrality of the Hexcore.]
You know, before I transmuted with the Hexcore, I asked Jayce to promise me to destroy it. [His expression softens into something solemn with a bit of recognition.] I guess that's why he killed me.
But I have seen what it can do, what it can let me do for others who need the help. I can actually make a difference in people's lives now. I can end their pain, their early deaths, give them a place where they don't have to starve, or fight to live. They prosper; I've seen it. Coexisting and creating with their own gifts. Art, music, writing, everything.
I can use it. There's a way. There has to be a way to perfect it. That's my x.
[ they don't verbally reply, and it's just the slight incline of their head. that probably says enough about that.
but it's fine. they don't mind being peered at. ]
That'd do it, yeah. I know people don't want to hear it, but sometimes death is the answer. And sometimes it has to be your own. Even when other people don't want it to be.
[ the last bit is said sort of softly, like they're considering something before they tilt their head back to look at the expanse of the void. ]
... after I died, it was much safer for people to leave their boundaries behind and go to a place they could do the same. All of the troubles they may have had tying them down kinda ceased to exist. But there were still threats. Even if they didn't see them right away. How are you so sure the same can't be said about the arcane? And your hextech?
[Hmm. He watches them for a moment before following their look out into the expanse.]
While I cannot speak on the arcane, as I have only recently come to experience it, I can say... I never wanted Hextech to be utilized for wrong. But it's true there were people who had begun to turn their eyes toward it. The discontent between Piltover and Zaun was widening into something dangerous.
But that is now... a situation left for Jayce to handle.
... I think I understand why you wouldn't want to leave this place. [ the hivemind... ] It's better when it's in your hands and away from people who'll take your work to do whatever they want. Do you even trust Jayce to fix things?
[ they don't just based on what viktor's said, but again, complicated feelings. ]
His smile is a briefly wry and tight thing, and it fades into a conflicted expression. He looks out at the void as if Jayce will appear from it and vanquish the doubts he has; he knows that won't happen. His eyes lower.]
[ have you considered not trusting other people and doing things yourself? ]
... I might've once believed that in order to do something right, you have to do it yourself. I don't know that I feel that way anymore. But it's still leaving it up to someone else.
[What kind of fucking faces are they making here for him to need to see? Damn.]
You truly know how to let people know you tire of their company.
[He's teasing. He's teasing? He has the ability to emote! There isn't any swimming; Viktor simply leans a little forward and coasts over to them. What appears on his lips is more than a smile, but not quite a full grin.]
it's funny because that's not exactly what they meant, but also it kind of is. it kind of is. their social battery is usually running at 50% anyway, so they shrug. ]
Hey, come on. You say that like you don't know how to find me anyway. [ but they do stand still to allow this. ] See you on the other side.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Quiet doesn't seem so bad. [ but then again, they could use it, sometimes. ] You sure everyone in the collective would be wanting, thinking, and talking the same way? How do you know they won't conflict?
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No one wants, thinks, or talks the same. Everyone in the collective was their own person. I could hear their minds, their desires. They did not conflict because everyone was at peace as a single coexistence.
The ruination came from outside the collective.
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It's more like the cloud. But can the collective grow? If they can think and want, can they grow and change?
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[He shakes his head gently.]
I don't know. The commune was young. I never had the chance to find out. But I was brought someone whose mutation locked away who they were, and I was using the connection to search their mind for what was missing.
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Like a train station. Everyone coming from different directions but they're all gathered to go to the same destination. [ sure, fine. ] Do mutations like that happen a lot? When you search a mind, is it like this?
[ hm. should they be concerned about viktor searching their mind actually. that's a new thought. ]
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No, I had never come across anything like it yet. Not in that way. I think... he was a human who had been experimented on perhaps, mixed with an animal. His consciousness had been locked behind instinct.
It is in a similar space, though not exactly this one. I can venture inside the mind as I am now and open memories or feelings. Bridge gaps.
[To put them at ease unknowingly:]
I only do this as absolute necessity.
[Well. For now. :)]
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[ this makes sense, yeah. this does actually help, though they are still looking at viktor. he can't see their expression, but with their posture slouched slightly and head tilted they seem to be considering options. ]
What do you call absolute necessity? A case like the mutation where it's so deeply tangled you have to unlock memories to find the strongest ones?
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[His smile is small, reassuring.]
I was asked to do this for him by people who cared for the man he was before. [The necessity.] I had to reach back into the memories of who he was, as many of them as I could rouse until he was himself. Big, small, just many of them. The most important ones who made them who he was.
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[ they sound... suspicious. like they're wary of what those people really wanted for this man. ]
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The people who asked me were what amounted to his daughters. At least, that's what I garnered from his memories. He was their father, and they wanted him back because they thought he had died.
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... okay. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. [ family is... fine. ] Do you think you would've been successful? Pulling him back out to who he used to be.
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I think so. [He seems... not pleased in an arrogant way, but in a relieved way.] He was becoming less feral and more like himself. Becoming kinder.
[But then he frowns gently and glances out at the cosmos of the arcane.]
Without me to tether them all together, however... I'm not sure what became of him. Everything would be broken. I'm not sure if they return to their former selves, or if they would simply... perish. He was a mutation, though, so perhaps he would survive.
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... there's a disconnect between here and there. [ they mean with viktor, and they don't say so. ] If you could separate the man and the animal, think you could separate you and the hexcore?
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His head swivels to look at them.]
Why would I want to do that?
[Unlike before, he doesn't seem icily feral when he asks, but genuinely confused. It isn't the Hexcore refusing to let go, but a worry of becoming worthless.
Don't take the only thing he can do now to make a difference in people's lives (he thinks). He's always been weak and useless, nevermind his brain is what wasn't. He's been terminal, too. This is all he has.
But he understands they have asked a question, so: he looks outward again.]
I don't know... I haven't considered trying on myself. I'm not sure if it would work that way, but perhaps. Anything is possible, right? You try until you make that true.
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they don't seem to mind viktor watching them, keeping their face (?) turned toward him. right. okay. have to remember he doesn't actually see there's a problem here. ]
Sure, anything is possible. As long as you remember that there are always going to be unknowns that you're solving for. Like, let's say what you're trying to solve for is how to keep saving your people if you separate from the hexcore. Before you can solve for that, you need to factor in other variables, such as your free will, and your capabilities to make certain changes. While some won't work in this formula, others will. There are multiple answers to the same question. In this case, your unknown is "what would happen to me if I separated from the hexcore." And you take your y and your z into account, with y equally your research on the invention and your z being your choices in how you use it. With those, you solve.
"If y +z, my research and my choices, can be multiplied and create a new answer, that's my x."
[ which is to say they do not think it would necessarily be the end of viktor if he was able to create and do all of this once. ]
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Do you always turn your problems into mathematical equations to solve them?
[Unfortunately, he is peering at Kiraman now with an interest which really couldn't present itself on the other side when dulled by the neutrality of the Hexcore.]
You know, before I transmuted with the Hexcore, I asked Jayce to promise me to destroy it. [His expression softens into something solemn with a bit of recognition.] I guess that's why he killed me.
But I have seen what it can do, what it can let me do for others who need the help. I can actually make a difference in people's lives now. I can end their pain, their early deaths, give them a place where they don't have to starve, or fight to live. They prosper; I've seen it. Coexisting and creating with their own gifts. Art, music, writing, everything.
I can use it. There's a way. There has to be a way to perfect it. That's my x.
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but it's fine. they don't mind being peered at. ]
That'd do it, yeah. I know people don't want to hear it, but sometimes death is the answer. And sometimes it has to be your own. Even when other people don't want it to be.
[ the last bit is said sort of softly, like they're considering something before they tilt their head back to look at the expanse of the void. ]
... after I died, it was much safer for people to leave their boundaries behind and go to a place they could do the same. All of the troubles they may have had tying them down kinda ceased to exist. But there were still threats. Even if they didn't see them right away. How are you so sure the same can't be said about the arcane? And your hextech?
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While I cannot speak on the arcane, as I have only recently come to experience it, I can say... I never wanted Hextech to be utilized for wrong. But it's true there were people who had begun to turn their eyes toward it. The discontent between Piltover and Zaun was widening into something dangerous.
But that is now... a situation left for Jayce to handle.
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... I think I understand why you wouldn't want to leave this place. [ the hivemind... ] It's better when it's in your hands and away from people who'll take your work to do whatever they want. Do you even trust Jayce to fix things?
[ they don't just based on what viktor's said, but again, complicated feelings. ]
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His smile is a briefly wry and tight thing, and it fades into a conflicted expression. He looks out at the void as if Jayce will appear from it and vanquish the doubts he has; he knows that won't happen. His eyes lower.]
...I have no other option than to trust him.
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... I might've once believed that in order to do something right, you have to do it yourself. I don't know that I feel that way anymore. But it's still leaving it up to someone else.
[ and that can still uncomfortable. ]
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Well, [he laughs wryly,] it would certainly be better if I could.
[But you know. HE'S DEAD!! And not only dead, but on this side dead.]
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You brought us here. How do you take people back out?
[ curious. and very obviously studying all of this. ]
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You truly know how to let people know you tire of their company.
[He's teasing. He's teasing? He has the ability to emote! There isn't any swimming; Viktor simply leans a little forward and coasts over to them. What appears on his lips is more than a smile, but not quite a full grin.]
See you on the other side?
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it's funny because that's not exactly what they meant, but also it kind of is. it kind of is. their social battery is usually running at 50% anyway, so they shrug. ]
Hey, come on. You say that like you don't know how to find me anyway. [ but they do stand still to allow this. ] See you on the other side.
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