If I can still use its power even inside the staff...
[He comes closer to Caspian and the matrix housing, so he can also look even though he has seen it before.
He frowns; it's sort of forlorn actually, but thoughtful. He really, truly does not want to give up his ability to help others regardless of how misguided that might become.]
...I'm willing to take big risks.
[Of course. He has taken so many big ones in his life.]
Might just need to reconstruct part of the staff to allow for an even distribution. [ this is mumbled a little, but he's already thinking twenty thousand mph. ]
I don't think you're wrong. For wanting to help people, and to heal them. But... you know my thoughts on everything. [ still. ] If you're sure then... let's give it a try.
[He glances at Caspian if only because he is listening, even if Caspian is ruminating to himself. It's fine. He understands that, too. Damn, they are the same person.]
I know.
[It's said quietly. Here, he has enough decency to be a little ashamed still, as Viktor, his true self not muffled by the orb floating in front of them.
He hesitates, if briefly. The feelings inside of him are tense, like the knot within before a high leap. Will he be worthless again? Will he be anything? He's in Heaven right now, but will he die? Will he succumb again later to his illness if he's redeemed? It's a strength difficult to give up.]
...I'm sure.
[He slowly stands up again and takes a few steps back from the matrix.]
[ they are the same person and it's for that reason that caspian goes quiet and lets Viktor take the time to process. he doesn't move away from the matrix, instead staring it down as his hands hover a little. he can guess what viktor is afraid of and it's also what makes him slow down instead of charging ahead into his ideas. ]
... we're not gonna let you die as soon as you leave. It's okay. [ to ease the worries. ] Are you okay if I remove it? [ or would Viktor prefer to do it himself? ]
[The reassurance helps and still makes him feel hot with embarrassment all the same. The idea he needs someone else's help simply to live like any other person has the luxury to receive.
That he can't be the master of his own fate.
He stands for a long moment, feeling the indifferent viscosity of the Hexcore's connection to him. It had grown comforting in a way. Like the solitude he sat within before. Had it really helped him do as wrong as others say?
He had almost been a god.
The thin vines of astral and organic material attached to his spine finally pull away, one by one, and disappear into the halogen edges of their surroundings.
[ he realizes it's shitty. he realizes how frustrating it is to be told that no, you can't actually do some things on your own, just because of the way you were born. some things are predetermined for you, and you can't easily change them.
it doesn't mean there isn't a chance though.
he's patient, watching as the vines retract bit by bit, ushering them along with a free hand. he's not rushing, but he is slightly nervous that the hexcore's going to react terribly to this instead. slow and steady. that's what they have to do.
when viktor nods though and everything seems to settle, he reaches in and wraps a hand around the core itself. gives it a lil tug. tries to make sure he's not going to accidentally kill viktor immediately by doing this, but it's slowly drawing it out to make sure it's stabilized, cradling it in his hands. ]
Viktor goes a bit stiff and straight as Caspian moves in for the core. His expression winces, though it's more as a precautionary measure than any real pain.
The glow of his body ripples; he can feel Caspian's touch distantly on parts of his existence despite the Hexcore hovering between Caspian's palms and refusing to settle within them.
It's beautiful, and he so desperately has the urge to snatch it and flee. The core reflects in the brown of his eyes as he looks on it. Then he squeezes them shut once, briefly, before opening them again. Right.
Staff.]
So far so good...
[He's not exploding into a heat death!
He extends his arm and curls his fingers, willing the manifestation of the still concerningly organic and twisted staff which was once the crutch he utilized to get around. Ironic. He situates it with both hands, pointing the curled head of it in Caspian's direction.]
[ listen, he is so tired of this thing basically piloting viktor. also, despite having literally no room to talk, he thinks it's weird and he dislikes.
he sees the way that viktor tenses up and he slows his approach, keeping an eye on him to make sure he really is ready for it. but it settles down, and he watches the hexcore hover like it's waiting for the next command to be input. he cuts a glance back to viktor, tracking every movement even as he watches him close his eyes and recenter himself.
no rushing. things are stable, and he's not going to tell the guy to hurry up when this is, in a way, losing a major part of himself.
the staff appears, and he's lowering his hands as if to encourage the core to slot into the head of it. shoos it a little. go on, you absolute nightmare. settle into your new home. ]
It's not losing the abilities you had. It's just redirecting how they flow. Having a conduit between you and it... kinda like a firewall. You can still do everything, but it protects you from anything dangerous.
The core bobs into its carapace place, and it twists slowly to adjust. Then it slowly begins to stretch and bubble; a blue and violet glow rises up from within and starbursts outward.
Viktor, unfortunately, looks surprised, a little worried. His eyes snap up to Caspian, and then quickly down again. The grip he has on the staff tightens - his arms quake, and it's suddenly evident he is starting to struggle keeping a firm and reined control of the staff.
Of course, some whacky shit would happen while they are trying to do a good.]
[ oh. oh bubbling is bad, and the sudden burst also causes him to shift his stance as if he's about to tackle the damn thing, but he realizes that reacting that way might just freak viktor out even more.
granted, that doesn't matter when the staff is apparently going to fight them every step of the way and he steps closer as if ready to intervene. ]
No, it's pissed. [ it's not an accurate assumption, maybe, but it's what he can figure. he narrows his eyes, watching the movements of the staff and viktor himself. ] You... try to stay calm. Could be reacting to your fear. Show it you're the one in control.
[ because this did, in fact, start when viktor questioned his control to begin with. ]
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no subject
... if we make another container, that should be safe to house right, right? It doesn't look that big to begin with.
[ put it in your staff you stupid fruit!! ]
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It takes a few moments, but his pinched brows lift.]
The staff... If it can remain stabilized, it could fit in my staff.
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Like an actual catalyst. [ the emotion is basically ! and he's frowning equally thoughtfully as he bends a little to get a closer look. ]
... how big of a risk are you willing to take on this?
no subject
[He comes closer to Caspian and the matrix housing, so he can also look even though he has seen it before.
He frowns; it's sort of forlorn actually, but thoughtful. He really, truly does not want to give up his ability to help others regardless of how misguided that might become.]
...I'm willing to take big risks.
[Of course. He has taken so many big ones in his life.]
I have taken big risks all my life.
no subject
I don't think you're wrong. For wanting to help people, and to heal them. But... you know my thoughts on everything. [ still. ] If you're sure then... let's give it a try.
no subject
I know.
[It's said quietly. Here, he has enough decency to be a little ashamed still, as Viktor, his true self not muffled by the orb floating in front of them.
He hesitates, if briefly. The feelings inside of him are tense, like the knot within before a high leap. Will he be worthless again? Will he be anything? He's in Heaven right now, but will he die? Will he succumb again later to his illness if he's redeemed? It's a strength difficult to give up.]
...I'm sure.
[He slowly stands up again and takes a few steps back from the matrix.]
no subject
... we're not gonna let you die as soon as you leave. It's okay. [ to ease the worries. ] Are you okay if I remove it? [ or would Viktor prefer to do it himself? ]
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That he can't be the master of his own fate.
He stands for a long moment, feeling the indifferent viscosity of the Hexcore's connection to him. It had grown comforting in a way. Like the solitude he sat within before. Had it really helped him do as wrong as others say?
He had almost been a god.
The thin vines of astral and organic material attached to his spine finally pull away, one by one, and disappear into the halogen edges of their surroundings.
He nods at Caspian, affirmatively.]
no subject
it doesn't mean there isn't a chance though.
he's patient, watching as the vines retract bit by bit, ushering them along with a free hand. he's not rushing, but he is slightly nervous that the hexcore's going to react terribly to this instead. slow and steady. that's what they have to do.
when viktor nods though and everything seems to settle, he reaches in and wraps a hand around the core itself. gives it a lil tug. tries to make sure he's not going to accidentally kill viktor immediately by doing this, but it's slowly drawing it out to make sure it's stabilized, cradling it in his hands. ]
Staff.
no subject
Viktor goes a bit stiff and straight as Caspian moves in for the core. His expression winces, though it's more as a precautionary measure than any real pain.
The glow of his body ripples; he can feel Caspian's touch distantly on parts of his existence despite the Hexcore hovering between Caspian's palms and refusing to settle within them.
It's beautiful, and he so desperately has the urge to snatch it and flee. The core reflects in the brown of his eyes as he looks on it. Then he squeezes them shut once, briefly, before opening them again. Right.
Staff.]
So far so good...
[He's not exploding into a heat death!
He extends his arm and curls his fingers, willing the manifestation of the still concerningly organic and twisted staff which was once the crutch he utilized to get around. Ironic. He situates it with both hands, pointing the curled head of it in Caspian's direction.]
no subject
he sees the way that viktor tenses up and he slows his approach, keeping an eye on him to make sure he really is ready for it. but it settles down, and he watches the hexcore hover like it's waiting for the next command to be input. he cuts a glance back to viktor, tracking every movement even as he watches him close his eyes and recenter himself.
no rushing. things are stable, and he's not going to tell the guy to hurry up when this is, in a way, losing a major part of himself.
the staff appears, and he's lowering his hands as if to encourage the core to slot into the head of it. shoos it a little. go on, you absolute nightmare. settle into your new home. ]
It's not losing the abilities you had. It's just redirecting how they flow. Having a conduit between you and it... kinda like a firewall. You can still do everything, but it protects you from anything dangerous.
no subject
[Funny he says this!!
The core bobs into its carapace place, and it twists slowly to adjust. Then it slowly begins to stretch and bubble; a blue and violet glow rises up from within and starbursts outward.
Viktor, unfortunately, looks surprised, a little worried. His eyes snap up to Caspian, and then quickly down again. The grip he has on the staff tightens - his arms quake, and it's suddenly evident he is starting to struggle keeping a firm and reined control of the staff.
Of course, some whacky shit would happen while they are trying to do a good.]
Maybe it's - unstable?!
no subject
granted, that doesn't matter when the staff is apparently going to fight them every step of the way and he steps closer as if ready to intervene. ]
No, it's pissed. [ it's not an accurate assumption, maybe, but it's what he can figure. he narrows his eyes, watching the movements of the staff and viktor himself. ] You... try to stay calm. Could be reacting to your fear. Show it you're the one in control.
[ because this did, in fact, start when viktor questioned his control to begin with. ]