... it depends on a lot of things. Like... if I'd be able to get rid of my scar.
[ and the movement is brief, like he doesn't like calling a lot of attention to it, but he does use his free hand to vaguely draw around the shape of his mask ]
And on what Monsieur Lucas and Adolphe end up doing.
The problem is other people—but you can't control them. So you turn to trying to control things about yourself. [ not that scars can generally be 'controlled'. ]
It would be easier if everyone could design their own appearances from the start.
Maybe... I think there are nice surprises. Like you don't know if the baby's eyes will be like the mom or the dad. Or their hair or their smile.
But... [ a little hesitant ] I don't know. You're right that sometimes people will act unfairly toward a person for reason outside that person's control.
I'm not ashamed of the circumstances that led me to get the scar but... I do know it changed my life.
[ just curiously, with a smile of his own. though the blunt question startles him into a laugh - he's not offended, just surprised. he knows ramiel enough to know it's not meant to be offensive, so he's not as nervous as he would be otherwise ]
I can tell you... I don't mind. It might bring the mood down a little though... even though I'm okay now.
I don't dislike them, I suppose. I never really thought about it. I just know that there are people who wouldn't want to look like the one who made them, and that given the freedom to look however they want, what people actually choose is extremely varied.
[ anyway, they do try to sound appropriately serious for a heartfelt story. they are stupid, not dismissive. ]
Ah... that's true. [ he nods... ] I guess there's a lot of ways to think about it.
[ but he nods. as long as they're open to hearing it, yves doesn't hate saying it ]
Well... there was a fire at an orphanage when I was visiting my friends one day. It happened really suddenly, and... killed a lot of people. I must've been knocked out by the original explosion, but when I woke up, there was a lot of smoke already...
I was trying to get out but... I saw a girl crying. I went to help her, and I was able to carry her out but... I ended up getting burned in the process.
[ they listen patiently, a bit pensive. being in heaven and knowing that there are good things that await the deserving when they pass on doesn't change that they value all life. tragedies are still tragedies.
their tone is a little softer, even they're still not great at swallowing down invasive questions. ]
[ yves looks down at the ocean below them, and appreciates the way that the ebb and flow of waves distorts his reflection. he can't see his own mask clearly, even if he can see a vague, constantly shifting outline of himself before it's disrupted by another wave ]
It's frightening to people. They look at me and think I might be possessed by something, or that... something's eating away at me.
Even the doctor who treated me had trouble doing it, terrified of the child in front of him.
[ judging from their silhouette, ramiel doesn't look away from him. ]
This is why it would be better if everyone could decide how they looked. [ a little petulant, honestly. ] You wouldn't have to suffer the judgment of others. And they would be exposed to more and more ways for people to look.
... I'm sorry. That wasn't fair of them. An injury is just an injury, no matter what it looks like. And a child with no control of their form, who only wanted to help someone shouldn't be condemned for it.
[ the petulance is cute, and it makes yves smile - even if it's just a small, soft one. it remains even when ramiel continues and he looks back over to them ]
... thanks.
I appreciate you saying so. I think they must've been doing the best they could with what they knew at the time... but it's part of why I... struggle, I guess.
Why I think I'd like to look for an option to remove my scar, if it exists.
What could they have known or not known at the time to make them afraid of an injury? A burn is not contagious.
[ huff. they are offended that people would treat him poorly for it, first and foremost. but also so used to the idea of choosing your own appearance that it seems like a perfectly reasonable solution to them. ]
I don't see why God couldn't change it for you, when the time comes. Well, I can't promise that, but...
[ ramiel you are so valid.... yves just smiles at the defensiveness and huffiness on his behalf, leaning into the warmth of it. he's not used to it, even now. so many people still know him for his freaky face, and so many days he has to pretend that he doesn't hear the comments. that they don't still sting. ]
... that's okay if you can't.
Knowing it might be possible at least lets me look at the options a little differently. I can make a choice if I'm able to accomplish redemption.
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I'd love to be your friend, Ramiel. I wouldn't think twice about it. Though you would have to let me look after you, and depend on me sometimes.
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okay! yay! ]
I don't think there'll be any need for that.
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But in the case there is... please know you can lean on me, too. I want to be good to you, just like you want to be good to all of us.
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That would make me sad.
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... me too. I'm going to try to do my best to help however possible so people can get to wherever they want to go.
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... Will you stay in Heaven, in the end? Or will you return to your life?
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[ and the movement is brief, like he doesn't like calling a lot of attention to it, but he does use his free hand to vaguely draw around the shape of his mask ]
And on what Monsieur Lucas and Adolphe end up doing.
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[ they have less questions about the latter part, because that makes sense. he probably wants to stay with his friends(?) ]
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[ which is ever so slightly different ]
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The problem is other people—but you can't control them. So you turn to trying to control things about yourself. [ not that scars can generally be 'controlled'. ]
It would be easier if everyone could design their own appearances from the start.
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But... [ a little hesitant ] I don't know. You're right that sometimes people will act unfairly toward a person for reason outside that person's control.
I'm not ashamed of the circumstances that led me to get the scar but... I do know it changed my life.
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[ and that sounds better to them than surprises. ]
How did you get it? [ please have more tact. ]
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[ just curiously, with a smile of his own. though the blunt question startles him into a laugh - he's not offended, just surprised. he knows ramiel enough to know it's not meant to be offensive, so he's not as nervous as he would be otherwise ]
I can tell you... I don't mind. It might bring the mood down a little though... even though I'm okay now.
Is that alright?
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[ anyway, they do try to sound appropriately serious for a heartfelt story. they are stupid, not dismissive. ]
I don't mind. Please tell me.
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[ but he nods. as long as they're open to hearing it, yves doesn't hate saying it ]
Well... there was a fire at an orphanage when I was visiting my friends one day. It happened really suddenly, and... killed a lot of people. I must've been knocked out by the original explosion, but when I woke up, there was a lot of smoke already...
I was trying to get out but... I saw a girl crying. I went to help her, and I was able to carry her out but... I ended up getting burned in the process.
And it's—
For whatever reason, it's not... a normal burn.
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their tone is a little softer, even they're still not great at swallowing down invasive questions. ]
How so?
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[ yves looks down at the ocean below them, and appreciates the way that the ebb and flow of waves distorts his reflection. he can't see his own mask clearly, even if he can see a vague, constantly shifting outline of himself before it's disrupted by another wave ]
It's frightening to people. They look at me and think I might be possessed by something, or that... something's eating away at me.
Even the doctor who treated me had trouble doing it, terrified of the child in front of him.
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This is why it would be better if everyone could decide how they looked. [ a little petulant, honestly. ] You wouldn't have to suffer the judgment of others. And they would be exposed to more and more ways for people to look.
... I'm sorry. That wasn't fair of them. An injury is just an injury, no matter what it looks like. And a child with no control of their form, who only wanted to help someone shouldn't be condemned for it.
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... thanks.
I appreciate you saying so. I think they must've been doing the best they could with what they knew at the time... but it's part of why I... struggle, I guess.
Why I think I'd like to look for an option to remove my scar, if it exists.
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[ huff. they are offended that people would treat him poorly for it, first and foremost. but also so used to the idea of choosing your own appearance that it seems like a perfectly reasonable solution to them. ]
I don't see why God couldn't change it for you, when the time comes. Well, I can't promise that, but...
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... that's okay if you can't.
Knowing it might be possible at least lets me look at the options a little differently. I can make a choice if I'm able to accomplish redemption.
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And you should be free to make your choice with as many options as possible.