Audience - Yves

[holyspirits]

Comments

[noirges]

[ he just smiles ]

If I told you that's okay... would you believe me?

[holyspirits]

I believe that you think so.

But I don't think so.

[noirges]

[ he makes a soft noise of acknowledgement ]

It must be frustrating. I know this is the last thing that you wanted to happen.

[holyspirits]

It is. We are doing this because we wanted the best for everyone here.

[ a bit helplessly, because clearly that's not going as planned! ]

I don't understand why this is happening.

[noirges]

[ frowns... ]

Is it something you've asked God already?

[holyspirits]

God has been helping us to look into it.

[ the results of which. well. they've been open about. ]

[noirges]

[ nods... ]

... okay. [ a little squeeze of their hands ] Then it may take time, and that's frustrating, but... I do still believe in all of you.

[holyspirits]

Thank you.

[ sincerely. but hey. also: ]

Even so, even if you believe that we can recover anyone lost, you shouldn't volunteer in the place of other people.

[noirges]

... I'm not going to do it again.

[ because not receiving even a single vote did hammer in a point to him that it wasn't helpful, and yves doesn't like causing distress for no reason ]

But... I did mean it at the time.

[holyspirits]

... I suppose I'm wondering how you feel about it.

Offering it. Meaning it. Those don't necessarily reflect what you're thinking.

[noirges]

Hmm... I feel guilty for upsetting people, even though I stand by my reasoning. It's like I said when Jiao did it last week... I'd have done the same thing. I guess I proved that.

[ and nobody liked it, yves ]

I know there's a bunch of logical reasons why I shouldn't have. I'm not blind to those. But... I did want to offer, even so. Even if it was just to Anders.

[holyspirits]

Did you want to? Or did you feel obligated to by love?

[noirges]

[ ? ]

I don't want to die.

But I think my situation makes it so that I'm more apathetic than others... so I did want to offer, if it'd make them feel even a little bit better.

[holyspirits]

"A little bit" is not worth the risk of going somewhere we haven't been able to find.

It isn't even a certainty that your soul would end up in the same place as the other lost souls. We don't know if they're together.

[noirges]

Oh, I know. I wasn't doing it to be with Adolphe. I was ready for the risk of not being found.

[ maybe sound like you care more, yves ]

[holyspirits]

That's even worse. You're not very good at justifying yourself.

[noirges]

[ he just laughs a little bit ]

That's probably true but... do you want me to justify myself?

I think my reasoning is abnormal. I know that about myself, at least.

[holyspirits]

I think that it would make me feel better if I could understand your reasoning.

But I can't.

[noirges]

[ yves just smiles then, a little sadly and squeezes ramiel's hands again ]

... I'm sorry. I don't think I'll have any reason that's good enough for you.

But... I also don't think that's a bad thing. I don't think it's wrong or incorrect, to think there's no good reason for your friend to offer up their life to die.

[ it's sweet. it's something yves does treasure, even if they might not be able to agree. he doesn't think they have to. ]

I'm sorry for worrying you. I won't do it again.

[holyspirits]

[ they sound a bit childishly sulky about this because this has not been an enlightening or comforting conclusion! they would really like there to just be explanations that make everything okay. ]

It isn't as if there is no good reason. For the greater good, sacrifices are sometimes necessary. Even the sacrifices of loved ones.

This, however, was far from a necessity.

[noirges]

[ there's a little hum, understanding ]

I'm afraid that part of everyone being a little bit different means we might do things that are unnecessary, as a result of our emotions.

[ like anders nearly killing hawke a day early ]

I know that can be hard to accept.

[holyspirits]

[ they sigh. ]

I understand.

It's just that I have seen people do this without wanting to before. Make the sacrifice they feel was necessary. Say that they were at peace with it. Lie that they were at peace with it. Which is one thing when it saves lives, but another when it only changes which individual we lose sight of.

[noirges]

[ he nods... ]

Mm. I understand. After Jiao... I get why people wouldn't want to make any decision but the objective one. But... [ yves changed his vote ] I understand the feeling of wanting to offer.

At the very least, I can say I wasn't lying at all...

[holyspirits]

You can say that, yes.

But that's my point. The subconscious may feel differently. And I can't see that. So.