It's... [ they aren't going to go into it unless he asks, actually, so they wave a hand like it's a stupid topic and focus on what his answer is. ]
... I'll never really understand how you think of yourself as selfish when it comes to loving people when you have different reasons for everyone. I feel like a person who is self-serving wouldn't be able to identify the differences.
[ hmmmmmmmmmmm he's so curious but he's also distracted ]
... well, I do love people with the hopes that it'll lead to someone who one day loves me. I don't know if any of these people will... even if sometimes I get a little hopeful.
[ because they've been kind about his scar and his mask, and aren't afraid of all the things that he carries with him ]
I don't think there's anything wrong with having hope. [ that's the immediate answer. ] Who would we be without that? Maybe they will, and maybe they won't, but being open to the possibility is a big challenge. And I think it's brave to keep having that hope.
I did, back home. When it got too hard to keep hoping... so I wanted to become a Reliver, since you no longer have any scars or marks you weren't born with.
I thought... maybe someone could love me then.
[ and it's why he asked every single angel about having his scar removed ]
... I used to think it was a lot easier to never dwell on the things I couldn't have. That maybe that would make it better, and it would feel less like a reminder that I would never be able to have something I did want, someday. I used to tell myself I didn't have an option but to deal with it anyway.
But I think when things are meant to happen, there's no stopping them no matter what you think. And I think you are, someday, meant to be loved.
[ zuriel.... you are baby...... yves just smiles gently at that and leans down to press a kiss to the top of their glowy lil head ]
.... thanks.
I hope you're right. Even if it feels selfish to say. Even if I know that you're going to tell me I'm not being selfish. [ gently teasing, because at least he's aware ]
The immediacy! [ the audacity!!! and yet, because at this point they don't mind too terribly about opening up this piece: ] It isn't as if it's that far in the past.
[ NO THIS BACKFIRED god why are you this way. (he will get rights after friday because his friend died, but still.) ]
I think you're just a gossip who likes to hear details. [ they are not as annoyed as they seem. ] It isn't as if it's a glamorous story or anything, you know. [ ...but fine. ]
Nobody was on the same page, Yves. [ ... ] That, and their other best friend was in love with my ex—[ they say the word "ex" as if they aren't sure that's what it is ]-and they were both coming to terms with that all at the same time. And before you ask, yes we had broken up already by the time the other relationship started.
[ apparently the poly wasn't a problem, it was just that they were happier separated. ]
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... I'll never really understand how you think of yourself as selfish when it comes to loving people when you have different reasons for everyone. I feel like a person who is self-serving wouldn't be able to identify the differences.
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... well, I do love people with the hopes that it'll lead to someone who one day loves me. I don't know if any of these people will... even if sometimes I get a little hopeful.
[ because they've been kind about his scar and his mask, and aren't afraid of all the things that he carries with him ]
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I don't think there's anything wrong with having hope. [ that's the immediate answer. ] Who would we be without that? Maybe they will, and maybe they won't, but being open to the possibility is a big challenge. And I think it's brave to keep having that hope.
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... I'll try to be brave and hold onto that hope.
It's just a little hard sometimes.
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[ squeezes their hand ]
So I think I'm still getting used to the idea that maybe next time could be different.
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Do you ever feel like giving up on trying? Knowing you've only known heartbreak.
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I thought... maybe someone could love me then.
[ and it's why he asked every single angel about having his scar removed ]
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... I used to think it was a lot easier to never dwell on the things I couldn't have. That maybe that would make it better, and it would feel less like a reminder that I would never be able to have something I did want, someday. I used to tell myself I didn't have an option but to deal with it anyway.
But I think when things are meant to happen, there's no stopping them no matter what you think. And I think you are, someday, meant to be loved.
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.... thanks.
I hope you're right. Even if it feels selfish to say. Even if I know that you're going to tell me I'm not being selfish. [ gently teasing, because at least he's aware ]
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but anyway. ]
You don't know what I'm going to say. [ in a somewhat sulking tone because yes, damnit. ]
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Even if I know... I appreciate the reminder. Maybe one of these days it'll get through my thick skull.
[ a little teasing. he doesn't mean it as actually self-deprecating, but man trauma hard to work through ]
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It isn't as if we'll stop reminding you. That's just another part of-- [ oh. they stop to think of how to word this more efficiently. ] Being friends.
[ they feel like this may stick better than going "of being you guardians." and it's true enough anyway. ]
[1/2]
Then I'm really glad we're friends.
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[ YVES ]
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THEY SHOVE THEIR HAND IN HIS FACE. ]
The immediacy! [ the audacity!!! and yet, because at this point they don't mind too terribly about opening up this piece: ] It isn't as if it's that far in the past.
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Only if it's fun... I don't want to linger on something that was difficult for you, but this sounds so fun.
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I think you're just a gossip who likes to hear details. [ they are not as annoyed as they seem. ] It isn't as if it's a glamorous story or anything, you know. [ ...but fine. ]
What is it you want to know anyway?
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[ oooohhhhh but also: ] You couldn't just all date if you were on the same page?
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[ apparently the poly wasn't a problem, it was just that they were happier separated. ]
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okay! ]
Wow... There was a lot of affection floating among you....
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Is that what we're calling it?