[ it is a tragedy, but in a different way then he might think, because she stays there for a moment and the longer he does that the more she finds herself unable to ignore a glaring fact that she's tried to run from since she first met yves.

she's quiet, but soon she continues again. ]

It was... important. He sacrificed himself for something important, but we weren't ready to let him go. So... we made a separate sacrifice. [ a pause. ] There's a place we all knew, once. Cabeswater. It appeared to us as a forest at the heart of the ley line, and it was beautiful and magical and in danger. It's why Gansey sacrificed himself. So we asked the forest to sacrifice itself in turn for him to come back.

He did, but... [ she's mentioned this to a few people, but never with the kind of clarity she has with his fingers in her hair. ] I think we lost something else. And I'm scared I won't remember what it is.

[ "on his cell phone, completely out of touch and multitasking as he came in with three—two of his friends." ]

To lose him was to gain something, but to gain him was to lose something else. We never really got to choose for ourselves. [ and that was her point. this was the point initially, that she understood why yves would choose to stay with his friends and their happiness even if he had to give up on love. because sometimes fate has a funny way of fucking you up and keeping you from having everything you could love and the things that love you. ]