[ okay this is not the time but she is a little bit touched he would show her this at all, let alone ask for her judgment on it.
anyway. she reads this very quickly, but then... thinks over what to say, for once. ]
I think... this is a very diplomatic way of expressing hurt. And I don't think you sound insane at all.
When you hide what you're feeling, nothing will change. That can be painful. And it may be more painful to be open about what you want and still not receive it. At first.
But I think that it's worth it to find out if that's what will happen. If things can get better... Or if they won't. Because if they won't, you shouldn't keep hurting yourself and wasting your own time and energy trying to make them.
[ she is a little bit insane - all the angels are - so he trusts her judgment on this. you gotta know it so you know when to call it.
anyway guy who has never had a normal relationship ever has no idea what normal relationships are like. breaking news!! ]
I don't know how people want things in a way that isn't so ugly. [ freedom, or love, or redemption. things that seem gentle enough at first always turn so violent. ] Every time I want something, I burn it.
[ she really. is. but her relationship advice is kind of just spouting off whatever makes logical sense to her, so it's pretty limited. ]
I don't know. My experience with these things has been very different from yours. I wish that I had an answer for you.
In this case, though... Are you sure you're the one burning it? It could be the circumstances. It could be the other party. You won't be able to make up for all variables as just one factor in the equation. Though that doesn't make it any easier.
If we're doing math about it, then I am the consistent factor in each problem, however.
If I didn't want things so badly, I might have gotten them. Well-behaved mages are allowed to leave, sometimes. Play at having power at a court, or allowed to research under supervision. If I hadn't wanted Hawke so badly, I might not have scared him so much.
That's playing into oppressive rules that you've said yourself are awful. I wouldn't fault you for it out of self-preservation, but you aren't wrong to want better for yourself.
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no subject
anyway. she reads this very quickly, but then... thinks over what to say, for once. ]
I think... this is a very diplomatic way of expressing hurt. And I don't think you sound insane at all.
When you hide what you're feeling, nothing will change. That can be painful. And it may be more painful to be open about what you want and still not receive it. At first.
But I think that it's worth it to find out if that's what will happen. If things can get better... Or if they won't. Because if they won't, you shouldn't keep hurting yourself and wasting your own time and energy trying to make them.
no subject
anyway guy who has never had a normal relationship ever has no idea what normal relationships are like. breaking news!! ]
I don't know how people want things in a way that isn't so ugly. [ freedom, or love, or redemption. things that seem gentle enough at first always turn so violent. ] Every time I want something, I burn it.
no subject
I don't know. My experience with these things has been very different from yours. I wish that I had an answer for you.
In this case, though... Are you sure you're the one burning it? It could be the circumstances. It could be the other party. You won't be able to make up for all variables as just one factor in the equation. Though that doesn't make it any easier.
no subject
If I didn't want things so badly, I might have gotten them. Well-behaved mages are allowed to leave, sometimes. Play at having power at a court, or allowed to research under supervision. If I hadn't wanted Hawke so badly, I might not have scared him so much.
no subject
In life. Or in love.